In a dramatic turn of events (not), England has launced a surprise pun offensive (next not) shortly before Sunday’s all-important World Cup death match between England and Germany. OK, OK. Sudden death match.

Whether the headline reads “Germans wurst at penalties” or “Das boot is on the other foot”, ill will toward the German opponant is spreading throughout England’s green and pleasant land like wild fire, guaranteeing a wonderful time for all.

There are a number of good reasons why the English love to hate the Germans when it comes to football, of course, but what really fuels the rivalry is, well, is the fact that Germany has always been more successful at the game (OK, at least when it comes to winning matches against England).

As for the Germans: “Although they tolerate the gung-ho English reaction, they are always slightly confused, even bemused, by it. It all stems from the fact the English view is stuck in a bit of a time warp.”

Quite true I’m sure, but if you don’t think the Germans aren’t living in their own little private Idaho time warp buddy, just come over and spend a little time here.

Anyway, may the best team win. Or lose, je nach dem (whatever the case may be).

How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.