I thought pouting about their dopey armband was embarrassing enough. But, you know, this here definitely takes the Kuchen.
At least now we know why Germany lost against Japan in their opener. There’s no way you can properly play sports while holding your hand in front of your mouth like that. Not even soccer.
Germany players cover mouths in protest against FIFA clampdown on free speech in ‘OneLove’ armband row.
It was a moment so brief that the thousands of fans inside the Khalifa International Stadium on Wednesday could easily have missed it.
Unfortunately for you, I am now sharing that moment with you.
Germans everywhere seem to be particularly nervous today for some reason. Somebody told me it might have something to do with soccer. And Argentina.
I’d be nervous then, too. Each team has a pope in the corner.
My the best pope win.
For the first time ever, the two teams facing each other in the World Cup final will each have a living pope in their corner: Pope Francis’ Argentina against Pope Emeritus Benedict’s Germany.
After a devastating 7-1 victory over Brazil, and with World Cup domination possibly just one small step around the corner, Germans everywhere have instinctively begun flagellating themselves with guilt and remorse in a futile attempt to come to grips with the responsibility they feel for the soccer atrocities committed in their name last night.
“4-0 would have been enough,” a spokesman for the shamed German people said.
“This victory is too high,” another disturbed German tweeted. “Shame. Compassion for humiliated opponent. Quickly to bed.”
German Chancellor Angela Merkel caught the mood with typical understatement. “I think it almost deserves the name ‘historic,” she said.
Germans Say. Those soccer playing German-American Germans on the American team, I mean. The German-German Germans are more German-like or something. Gee, I never really thought about that before but that really makes sense.
And that’s why they just had to win last Thursday. And did, of course. But we should gönne (grant) them that and not begrudge them just because we as “Americans want to win everything.” Real Germans don’t want to win everything, I can only assume, and therefore the least the rest of us as in U.S. (and the rest of the world) can do is to finally let them win the World Cup for once already for crying out loud. Or for the third or fourth time now, I forget.
“The US has everything. Hollywood, money, weapons, let us have at least football.”
What has happened to our country, people? The next thing you know we’ll be joining unions to push for turning up late to work after World Cup games that begin after ten at night. Like certain other countries do, I mean.
Observing Hermann 