Funnel Payments Stopped Despite Iranian Pledge

April 7, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Iran, Nuclear power, Nuclear weapons, Satire 2 Comments

Despite Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s repeated pledge to Germany that Iran’s nuclear program is being used for energy only and that he would reveal any future secret Iranian nuclear site plans “as soon as he became aware of them,” a spokesman for the German government says that the deal to funnel oil payments from India to Iran through Germany’s central bank has been scrapped.

Enraged by this sudden change of heart, Mr. Ahmadinejad asked the Germans “But what about my promise to give 60-days notice before unleashing any surprise attacks on Israel using the missiles that we almost certainly do not have, to the best of my recollection? Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Washington has questioned Germany’s resolve to enforce sanctions given its strong trading links with Tehran.

How do you keep the hysteria going?

April 4, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Media, Nuclear power, Panic, Satire 3 Comments

It’s clearly getting tougher and tougher with each passing day. When you’re well into your third week of daily reports about the Fukushima SUPER-GAU (disaster beyond all expectations) and that nuclear worst case scenario just simply won’t happen, even the most loyal alarmist starts getting a little pooped out. The Spannung (tension) just won’t steigen (mount) anymore.

I mean, we’ve already had the German atomic turnaround and the German Green triumph and the old German nuclear reactors are already shut off (and won’t be turned back on again) and the entire German nuclear power industry will be shut down next before all too long too so like what’s left to get excited about? Nothing? But what’s that got to do with anything? There was nothing to get excited about in the first place.

Poor devils, they’re scrambling and hustling as best they can but the pickings are awfully slim. They’re trying it today with 2285 missing fuel element ball thingies at a German nuclear research center. Talk about boring.

Like I said, slim pickin’s. But hey, it’s a Monday. See what they throw at us tomorrow.

Es klingt wie ein verspäteter Aprilscherz: Das Forschungszentrum Jülich vermisst 2285 Brennelementekugeln.

PS: Thanks for the link, A.K. – Diese kollektive Besoffenheit über Fukushima, diese unglaubliche Dummheit, dieses Ausrasten eines ganzen Volks haben mich eines Besseren belehrt.

Heine, der Emigrant in seiner Matratzengruft, hat alles richtig gesehen.

http://zettelsraum.blogspot.com/2011/04/biografien-ein-deutscher-dialog-zettel_03.html

“There’s an app for that”

March 31, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Japan, Nuclear power, Satire 1 Comment

And there’s a market for it too. In Germany there is.

This one is bound to sell like hotcakes. A German developer has wasted no time in bringing out an Apple app that gives you the location of the AKW nearest you. You know, Atomkraftwerk (nuclear power plant)?

It also gives the user the pertinant information about each one located like how soon we’re all gonna die, the next demonstration planned, the shutdown date. Stuff like that.

Dank des AKW-Finders muss man sich nun nicht mehr durch komplexe Online-Angebote arbeiten, sondern bekommt sämtliche Infos auf einen Blick präsentiert.

German Gaijin Just Don’t Get It

March 30, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Japan, Nuclear power 1 Comment

How could they?

Here are some lines from a report by a Spiegel journalist who, being a product of his Umwelt (environment), obviously can’t understand what is going on with these peculiar, “fatalistic” Japanese who have the audacity to show courage in the face of disaster.

There is little evidence of panic.

There is not a single person protesting on the streets in the entire city (Tokyo).

Japanese fireman Nakamura Junichiro: “It was not my choice, but I wanted to go there. This is the most difficult hour for Japan. It was my duty.”

“The tsunami represents a good opportunity to cleanse this greed (the egoism the elder speaker believes his fellow Japanese have succombed to), and one we must avail ourselves of.”

The destructive forces of nature, writes Asia expert Ian Buruma, are “to a certain extent part of Japanese culture.” This creates fertile ground for a Japanese fatalism that has developed throughout history and culminates in the expression “shikata ga nai,” meaning “it can’t be helped.” A further product is the widespread belief that nothing beautiful on Earth is permanent and that the Japanese people must close ranks in times of national disaster.

Those who seek to wait it out in Osaka must be gaijin — a non-Japanese or outsider. Someone who doesn’t understand that now, more than ever, every cog in the wheel counts. Someone who shirks his responsibility while a hero like fireman Nakamura Junichiro risks his life to cool down the reactors in Fukushima.

Germans Shut Down Simpsons Too

March 29, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Japan, Nuclear power, Satire, The Simpsons Leave a comment

Just in case. For three months or so, I assume.

After the government shut down seven nuclear reactors for fear of, uh, fear itself, German broadcasters have now decided to ban episodes of The Simpsons that poke fun at nuclear disasters.

It seems that now that the Greens have exploited “the situation” (no, not that guy on Jersey Shore) and leapt to power in two state governments after elections held over the weekend, said broadcasters fear that hysterical Germans watching these episodes could die of hysterical laughter.

Chancellor Angela Merkel announced earlier this month a three-month moratorium on plans to extend the operating times of Germany’s nuclear plants and ordered that the seven oldest reactors be shut down.

If Germans got much greener…

March 28, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Elections, German, Germans, Germany, Greens, Humor, Japan, Nuclear power, Satire 1 Comment

They would start blending in with the leaves and the flowers here.

Green? They call their bicycles recycles here.

Table legs sprout roots here, it’s that green.

We’re talking green. One guy I know named his kid Kyoto.

Some folks are so green that they carry a tree around with them at all times for optimum air quality.

And German businesses aren’t much better these days. Some have turned so green that employees hug their corporate offices.

Green? They are so green that the very thought of unsorted garbage landing in a landfill makes them turn red.

Geiger Counters Needed Desperately (In Germany)

March 15, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Earthquake, German, Germans, Germany, Japan, Nuclear power 1 Comment

The German news folks have all hightailed it down south to Osaka and are reporting from there (or maybe they’re in Taiwan by now). The German embassy is soon to follow.

Their rescue teams have headed back to Germany after declaring that there is no one left in Japan to be rescued.

And now Geiger counters are selling out like hotcakes. Here in Germany, mind you.

Other than that though, the hysteria is being kept pretty much under control here. For the moment at least.

„Es gibt eine immense Absatzsteigerung. Wir haben in den vergangenen Tagen Hunderte Geräte verkauft.“

German Nuclear Reactors Can’t Withstand 9.0 Quake Either

March 15, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hysteria Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Japan, Nuclear power 2 Comments

No, Germany doesn’t get hit by earthquakes. But it regularly gets hit by seismic waves of extreme and indulgent panic like the one that has just rolled over the country shortly after the monster quake hit Japan.

That is why Angela Merkel has wasted no time in going back on her government’s decision to extend the life of Germany’s nuclear power stations (they’ll think it through again for three months = forever?). Regional elections are coming up in a few weeks and with everyone panicked out of their minds as they are, sicher ist sicher (better to be safe than sorry).

The German Chancellor, who indicated that some plants could be closed faster than expected, said that “everything will be put under review.”

The Next Human Chain (Reaction)

March 14, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Earthquake, German, Germans, Germany, Japan, Nuclear power Leave a comment

When in doubt, get hysterical. Germans are leaving Japan faster than you can say “the shinto has hit the fan.”

Is the situation in Japan a cause for concern? It most certainly is. But we are what we eat in the end, aren’t we? Maybe it’s just me, but if I watch an hour of BBC World coverage on the nuclear power plant situation in Japan, for instance, and then switch over to the German ARD coverage of it, I feel as if I’m now watching coverage from another planet.

BBC: The Japanese seem to be getting a grip on the situation.
ARD: Oh my God we’re all going to die!

And has anyone stopped to notice how stoic and remarkably calm the Japanese are in dealing with all of this?

No matter. Just keep eating whatever it is you eat and we’ll all see how the reporting looks next week. Not that anyone will notice or care or anything, but still.

Nur für die Mitarbeiter am Flughafen scheint die Welt nicht Kopf zu stehen. Sie betreuen lächelnd ihre Kunden, leihen spontan Stifte aus, halten hinter dem Schalter ein Schwätzchen.

Gau-Wow Pow-Wow

March 13, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear power, Protests 1 Comment

They call it Instrumentalisierung here, or instrumentalisation (exploitation), if your prefer: “To take advantage of a situation, especially unethically or unjustly for one’s own ends.”

Demonstrators in Stuttgart formed a human chain reaching 45km (27 miles) for the protest, planned before the current nuclear crisis in Japan.

Organisers said events in Japan had proved atomic power was an uncontrollable and risky. technology.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Nuclear power