Germans Oddly Quiet About Protests In Iran

I wonder why?

Iran

I know, let’s ask the Tasnim News Agency: The head of the German-Iranian Chamber of Commerce said Germany sold 2.358 billion euros ($2.846 billion) worth of goods to Iran, and imported just $328 million worth of goods from Iran in nine months from January through October 2017.

“Germany’s trade surplus with Iran is massive. But that’s nothing new. The Iranians complain about it from time to time, and we try to find ways to encourage more Iranian exports into Europe and Germany, but we’ve been running big trade surpluses with Iran for forty years.”

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Berlin May Day Protesters Too Bourgeois For This Anti-Bourgeois Nonsense

And too old, I guess. Everything is “relatively calm” yet again. Boring.

May

In 1987, far-left rioters battled with police for 12 hours, looting shops and burning cars. They were fighting against what they called a “bourgeois” celebration of the 750th anniversary of the founding of Berlin.

Rioting on May 1 then became a regular tradition in Berlin, starting in West Berlin and spreading to the East following reunification in 1990. In 1989 protests 364 police officers were injured. In 2000 the extent of the violence led to an attempted ban on protests the following year. In 2009 after a few years of relative calm, 273 police were injured with some rioters facing attempted murder charges for throwing Molotov cocktails.

Walpurgnisnacht und 1. Mai verliefen bisher weitgehend ruhig – trotz zahlreicher Demonstrationen. Tausende Menschen sind außerdem in Kreuzberg auf dem Myfest unterwegs.

TTIP Demonstrators Refuse To Let Their Rotten Mood Be Ruined By The Rotten Weather

Fearing that German goods bound for US-Amerika could soon be subjected to lower tariffs, less red tape and a much wider base of consumers to purchase them, tens of thousands of German anti-TTIP demonstrators have taken to the streets to loudly voice their concerns in an hysterical love-fest of classic anti-American blather.

TTIP

Unfortunately, the demonstrators seemed to have dropped the ball when it comes to rabid outbursts directed against the smaller version of TTIP with Canada called CETA. But this is most likely because Canada (another moral superpower like Germany) is bekanntlich (generally known to be) not US-Amerika so that deal is OK or something and will therefore be signed in October.

EU Trade Commissioner Cecilia Malmstrom told Saturday’s Bild daily she was aghast at the “misunderstandings, urban myths and outright lies in the debate” on the merits or otherwise of the treaty.

Bavarian Codebreaker Needed

Not everybody can speak this lingo. I assume it has something to do with the G7 demonstration festivities going on in Elmau, Germany right now but I can’t say for sure.

I am also assuming here that “Yes Mia Spuin” must be in honor of Obama’s visit and can only mean “yes, we can.” The guy with his face all up in the camera has sure got me stumped, however.

Dorf empfängt Obama mit Alphörnern und Weißwurst

Germans Not Overdoing It Again

Honest. With their anti-Islamization bzw. (and) anti-Pegida hysteria, I mean.

Legida

Not with Bagida.
Not with Bärgida.
Not with Hagida.
Not with Legida.
Not with Muegida.
Not with Mvgida.
Not with Öz-Gida.
Not with Schwegida.
Not even with Merkel-Ida herself, for crying out loud.

Maybe it’s time to like gida life already, people.

Pegida? Kögida? Bärgida?

This is all starting to bug me a litta…

Pegida

Germany is preparing itself for the first wave of PEGIDA demonstrations of the new year. The anti-Islamization movement has been steadily growing in popularity as the demonstrations reach their fourth month.

On Monday, the first marches of 2015 will also see the first turnout of protesters in the country’s capital, Berlin. Playing on the city’s bear mascot, “Bärgida” currently has just short of 600 people listed as attending on the Facebook event page. More are expected to march on Monday evening, however.

Wave Of Anti-Hamas Rallies Hits Cities Across Germany

Enraged at the cowardly Hamas rocket attacks that have provoked Israel’s ground offensive into the Gaza Strip, thousands of Islamists, left-wing extremists and neo-Nazis have taken to the streets all across Germany to vent their hate by chanting clever new ant-Semitic slogans.

Israel

“Jew, Jew, cowardly swine, come out and fight on your own!” was a particularly popular one at a rally in Berlin, for instance. “Hamas, Hamas, Jews in the gas!” came in a close second, however.

It is unclear what effect these slogans have had upon the Hamas terrorists firing said rockets but it doesn’t really matter all that much because their capacity to do so is being taken away from them as you read this. Right about… Now.

“Jude, Jude, feiges Schwein, komm heraus und kämpf allein.”

United Stasi of America

Get it? A protest at the US embassy in Berlin and stuff.

Protest

The National Security Agency can gather about one billion times more information than the sinister Stasi police that were used to hunt down the targeted people of Nazi Germany.

And just in case you were wondering, Germans only do “strictly legal” spying. But you probably weren’t wondering.

Darunter war das Konterfei des umstrittenen Internet-Unternehmers und Multimillionärs Kim Schmitz alias „Kim Dotcom“ zu erkennen. Der gebürtige Deutsche lebt in Neuseeland und ist Gründer der – mittlerweile geschlossenen – Internetplattform „Megaupload“, über die die Nutzer auch illegal an Musik und Filme gelangen konnten. Seit 2012 warten die USA auf die Auslieferung des Unternehmers, weil ein Haftbefehl gegen Schmitz vorliegt.

We Are Still A Popular Front Of The Confused And Mutually Contradictory Yet United In Our Unremitting Rage (We Think)

None of this was meant to be satirical, I believe, but I had to read it three times to be sure, sort of.

Here are few of the more hilarious tidbits:

The Occupy movement got off to a great start last fall, but living in a tent camp seemed less attractive during the Northern European winter.

“People have to see that the hibernation period is over.”

The loose-knit group still needs to figure out what it actually stands for.

A Roma family also moved in recently.

“This will be big. The issue is democracy. There are events planned around the world. We need a truck.”

As an economist and Marxist, she has ideas.

The activists are brainstorming what else they can do to make a big splash. “Maybe some sort of choreography. Can we do that?”

It will give all the people who took to the streets in 2011 to protest against financial capitalism and the political establishment, occupying public squares from Madrid to Athens to Frankfurt, the chance to show that they are still furious and prepared to stage a rebellion.

Some want to eliminate capitalism altogether, while others just want to make it more human.

Castro is still “a great visionary,” she said.

Now that even business owners, managers and bankers are becoming disenchanted with capitalism, the chorus of voices opposed to the “system” is louder and more diverse than ever before.

Will they find new answers, possibly even a new political idea?

“We don’t believe in a humane form of capitalism.”

The activists feel that the Greeks are being put under too much pressure because of their government’s austerity plans, and so they decide to dance the sirtaki.

He is about to meet with people who, like him, still feel something of the original euphoria.

Those who expect more after only a few months haven’t understood the Occupy principle. They need more time.

WaWe 10, Where Are You?

Car 54 couldn’t make it. Man oh man. I want to see this puppy in action sooo bad.

It’s the Berlin Police Department’s brand-new water canon monster WaWe (as in Wasserwerfer) 10, specifically designed to stop those pesky May Day riots in a jiffy, without undue harm to the protesters (and hopefully washing them thoroughly in the process, as well).

But as fate would have it, this year’s anniversary festivities look like they’re going to be pretty lame after all. Kids these days. Who knows, though. Maybe something will ignite that smoldering fuse of indignation in an hour or two once the sun starts setting and WaWe 10 will get its chance to roll out into action after all, all magestic and Robocop-like. And wet. Sexy, isn’t she?

Does anybody out there know if there’s a riot-cam thingy I could link to just in case this party ever does get started?

Die für den Nahbereich gedachte “Wasserwand” soll Protestler nur nass machen und zum Gehen bewegen, ohne zu verletzen.

PS: Thanks, andBerlin! Maybe this link will do the trick.