The current women’s soccer fest has shown me once again that women just aren’t as good at soccer as men are. When it comes to fake soccer injuries, I mean.
“As soccer fans, we are shocked, shocked to learn that some players might not really be injured when they flop onto the pitch. Now comes a study suggesting that women are less likely to fake soccer injuries than men.”
They’re just missing that killer instinct or something.
Former Germany captain Michael Ballack stepped up his sharp criticism of Germany coach Joachim Loew, saying he had already decided to quit the national team when Loew announced that the player had no future with the side.
The 34-year-old former Chelsea midfielder said on Sunday that he wanted to announce the decision himself.
Ballack and the German football federation (DFB) have been trading barbs ever since Loew made the announcement on Thursday.
The octopussies. The men, I mean.
“We agreed that I would make the announcement myself during the summer break.”
Best damned intuitive invertebrate I’ve ever known.
Not personally or anything, but still.
“Nothing beats grilled octopus.”
“Throw him in the frying pan!”
“Cut him up in thin slices and grill him on all sides with a dash of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on it. Delicious!”
“Die Scheißkrake hatte Recht.”
It’s all over. Pack it up and go home, Germany.
Paul the Psychic Octopus says you’re going to lose against Spain tomorrow night.
It ain’t over till it’s over, but it’s over.
(And they haven’t even beat Argentina yet) German neo-Nazis don’t like them.
For neo-Nazis it is next to impossible to back a team that includes players with names like Boateng, Özil or Podolski. This German national team is the most ethnically diverse ever, celebrated widely as finally being representative of the wider German society. But to the far right, a squad where 11 of the 23 have migrant backgrounds is no longer really German.
“The black-red-gold flag that attaches itself to the Federal Republic of Germany is not the flag of the German nation! Whoever proudly waves that flag is supporting the exact opposite of what is really German and national.”
Punch me instead. Can’t wait for this weekend’s brawl, I mean match.
“Bastian said what he said. We know South Americans are impulsive and temperamental and cannot lose.”
Fußball fans never forget.
“Some (Germans) have even got religious about it, praising the god of football for handing down divine justice in the form of a blatant referee error that robbed England of a crystal-clear goal on Sunday. At last, commentators say, Germany has been avenged for 1966, when England had a goal wrongly allowed in the legendary World Cup final at London’s Wembley stadium, which England won 4:2.”
In a dramatic turn of events (not), England has launced a surprise pun offensive (next not) shortly before Sunday’s all-important World Cup death match between England and Germany. OK, OK. Sudden death match.
Whether the headline reads “Germans wurst at penalties” or “Das boot is on the other foot”, ill will toward the German opponant is spreading throughout England’s green and pleasant land like wild fire, guaranteeing a wonderful time for all.
There are a number of good reasons why the English love to hate the Germans when it comes to football, of course, but what really fuels the rivalry is, well, is the fact that Germany has always been more successful at the game (OK, at least when it comes to winning matches against England).
As for the Germans: “Although they tolerate the gung-ho English reaction, they are always slightly confused, even bemused, by it. It all stems from the fact the English view is stuck in a bit of a time warp.”
Quite true I’m sure, but if you don’t think the Germans aren’t living in their own little private Idaho time warp buddy, just come over and spend a little time here.
Anyway, may the best team win. Or lose, je nach dem (whatever the case may be).
How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
Observing Hermann 