“Nothing beats grilled octopus.”
“Throw him in the frying pan!”
“Cut him up in thin slices and grill him on all sides with a dash of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on it. Delicious!”
“Die Scheißkrake hatte Recht.”
Tag Archives: Soccer
Aus der Traum
It’s all over. Pack it up and go home, Germany.
Paul the Psychic Octopus says you’re going to lose against Spain tomorrow night.
It ain’t over till it’s over, but it’s over.
Another reason to like Germany’s national team
(And they haven’t even beat Argentina yet) German neo-Nazis don’t like them.
For neo-Nazis it is next to impossible to back a team that includes players with names like Boateng, Özil or Podolski. This German national team is the most ethnically diverse ever, celebrated widely as finally being representative of the wider German society. But to the far right, a squad where 11 of the 23 have migrant backgrounds is no longer really German.
“The black-red-gold flag that attaches itself to the Federal Republic of Germany is not the flag of the German nation! Whoever proudly waves that flag is supporting the exact opposite of what is really German and national.”
Don’t cry for me Argentina
Punch me instead. Can’t wait for this weekend’s brawl, I mean match.
“Bastian said what he said. We know South Americans are impulsive and temperamental and cannot lose.”
Women and elephants and…
Fußball fans never forget.
“Some (Germans) have even got religious about it, praising the god of football for handing down divine justice in the form of a blatant referee error that robbed England of a crystal-clear goal on Sunday. At last, commentators say, Germany has been avenged for 1966, when England had a goal wrongly allowed in the legendary World Cup final at London’s Wembley stadium, which England won 4:2.”
F.
Puns escalating
In a dramatic turn of events (not), England has launced a surprise pun offensive (next not) shortly before Sunday’s all-important World Cup death match between England and Germany. OK, OK. Sudden death match.
Whether the headline reads “Germans wurst at penalties” or “Das boot is on the other foot”, ill will toward the German opponant is spreading throughout England’s green and pleasant land like wild fire, guaranteeing a wonderful time for all.
There are a number of good reasons why the English love to hate the Germans when it comes to football, of course, but what really fuels the rivalry is, well, is the fact that Germany has always been more successful at the game (OK, at least when it comes to winning matches against England).
As for the Germans: “Although they tolerate the gung-ho English reaction, they are always slightly confused, even bemused, by it. It all stems from the fact the English view is stuck in a bit of a time warp.”
Quite true I’m sure, but if you don’t think the Germans aren’t living in their own little private Idaho time warp buddy, just come over and spend a little time here.
Anyway, may the best team win. Or lose, je nach dem (whatever the case may be).
How do I loathe thee? Let me count the ways.
And the winner is…
If you DON’T want to know who’s going to win the World Cup mega-match between England and Germany this Sunday, then DON’T watch this video.
Paul has so far correctly predicted all of Germany’s results in South Africa.
Germans in drag
OK, fine. But in Pakistan?
A German national terrorist type wearing a burqa got busted by Pakistani security forces while trying to sneak through a security check post in northwestern Pakistan.
Worse still, he was also wearing one of those loud and annoying German World Cup flag jerseys and antler sets everybody’s wearing around here these days – or he might as well have been.
The German was wearing a full-body sewing cloth that Muslim women wear for cultural and religious reasons.
It’s Selbstzerfleischung time again!
Everything goes from one extreme to the other here, that’s just what Germans do.
Selbstzerfleischung means something like self-destructive criticism and with German Fußball it goes like this: Just a few hours ago, what seemed like the entire German nation gathered together at public and less public viewing locales everywhere to watch their team beat Serbia mit links (with the left hand – hands down). They won’t necessarily admit that this is what they were thinking but this is precisely what they were.
Then they lost for some reason. So now it goes back the other way: The entire German nation is now down on the same team they were so confident in a few hours back for being the biggest bunch of losers they’ve ever seen since the last time they saw them lose – although it was a different set of losers then – only now they admit openly that they were thinking this would happen all along.
Then come the reasons why they lost, and they are legion. Blah, blah, blah. Everybody knows why afterward, and the venom gets on everything. It’s a real mess and practically impossible to get out unless you use Ariel at 60 Grad, twice.
But they’re trying this time, the Germans. I must say that they’re doing their best to spread the blame around a little more unfairly, as best they can, although the way they’re spreading it isn’t all that terribly original: They’re blaming the referee this time too.
“Der Schiedsrichter ist auch nur ein Mensch – aber kein guter.”
