Talk about your gross domestic product. Germans are apparently so grossed out about the lack of theirs, relative to China’s which overtook Germany as the world’s third largest economy (BACK IN 2007), that German press agencies don’t even want to report about the matter. Well I can’t find any reports anyway. I don’t blame them really. After all, there are more pressing matters to report about out here these days.

Meanwhile, the Mother of all Chancellors is defending the country’s biggest economic stimulus program since the Second World War (which wasn’t really all that stimulating in the end if you stop and think about it, at least not for Germany). Angela Merkel told reports that Berlin’s 50 billion euro program was “just what the country needed” so shut the freak up and go out there and buy something already.

Reliable sources (and you know how reliable they can be) tell me that other than the big infrastructure projects planned with the plan, tax cuts alone will amount to about two to four hundred euros per family (of four), per year, for, uh, two years. Why, that’s a lot. Well it is if you’re living in certain areas of Africa, OK?

But as you can see by reading this, nobody is ever happy about anything the government does here. So I say Angie, you go girl. And go out there and buy yourself a new toaster with that money while you’re at it.*

* She may be the Mother of all Chancellors but she doesn’t have any kids herself, so she gets even less.

“Unemployment now stands at more than three million and economists fear one in 10 workers will be out of a job by the time of the general election in September.”