German Of The Day: Dax-Zombie

That means DAX zombie.

DAX

For the first time, a DAX company, Wirecard, has gone broke but won’t be kicked out of the index until September.

Wirecard has filed for insolvency, just days after a $2 billion accounting scandal at the company burst into the open, crashing its stock and leading to the arrest of its former chief executive.

The digital payments company said in a statement Thursday it had opened legal proceedings in Munich “due to impending insolvency and over-indebtedness.” Share

Mit Wirecard ist zum ersten Mal ein Dax-Konzern pleite gegangen. Aus dem Leitindex fliegen dürfte der Konzern aber erst im September.

I Got Your Quantitative Easing For You Right Here, Pal

Imagine that. A nation state (member state) ought to have a say in how its money is spent. What a radical new concept.

Court

Germany’s top court has ruled that the European Central Bank’s mass bond-buying to stabilise the eurozone partly violates the German constitution.

The ruling relates to government debt worth €2.1 trillion (£2tn; $2.3tn) bought by the ECB since 2015, but not purchases in the coronavirus crisis.

The Constitutional Court in Karlsruhe says there is not enough German political oversight in the purchases…

The plaintiffs are a group of German academics, including a former leader of the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD), Bernd Lucke. They argue that the purchases violate the EU ban on one eurozone member subsidising the debts of another.

It is now up to the ECB to explain how its mass bond-buying programme is “proportionate”. The Bundesbank could pull out if it is not satisfied, in three months’ time – which would be a big blow to the eurozone.

What? No Ten Euro Beer This Year?

And no Wiesn-Madl? Now we know this is getting serious, folks.

Oktoberfest

Germany cancels Oktoberfest beer festival due to coronavirus – Germany’s Oktoberfest, the world’s largest folk festival, where revellers from all over the world gather to swig large quantities of beer, has been cancelled due to the coronavirus crisis, the southern state of Bavaria said on Tuesday.

Endgültiges Aus für die Wiesn 2020!

Germans Have Some Of The Strictest Gun Control Laws In The World

Thank goodness, right? Otherwise any wack job could manage to get a gun and go around murdering innocent, unarmed people.

Hanau

This guy was also rambling on about secret underground military bases in US-Amerika where small children are being systematically tortured. See who we’re dealing with here? Or who got dealt with, I should say?

German authorities are starting to piece together exactly what happened in Hanau, when a gunman opened fire on two shisha bars.

At least nine people died in the attack which federal prosecutors are treating as an act of terrorism.

Turkish authorities say a number of those killed were of Turkish origin. Chancellor Angela Merkel said there are signs the shooter had racist motives.

Generalbundesanwalt spricht von „zutiefst rassistischer Gesinnung.”

Germany Has Some Of The Strictest Gun Control Laws In The World

And they are designed to keep the crazy criminal types here from harming the unarmed innocents around them.

Halle

Streaming live from a camera mounted on his helmet, a gunman pushed on the doors of a synagogue, fired several shots at a lock on the door, stuck an explosive in a door jam and lit it.

But he couldn’t get in.

The fact that the door held likely spared the lives of the dozens of people inside the synagogue on Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar.

Police say the gunman killed two people Wednesday in the eastern German town of Halle — one directly outside the synagogue, and one at a nearby kebab shop. Police have arrested the suspected gunman.

The Perfect Choice

This woman  has been in charge of the German Bundeswehr for what feels like decades and has accomplished absolutely nothing other than to stumble from one self-inflicted scandal to the other without ever having to face the consequences because, being one of Angela Merkel’s top girls (and therefore being more equal than the other girls), she is simply too good and too big to fail.

Leyen

That is why she is the ideal choice to head the European Commission. Un-freakin’-believable.

Germany’s Ursula von der Leyen nominated to lead EU Commission – EU leaders have put forward their nominations for the bloc’s top jobs, with a woman for the first time proposed as European Commission chief.

The surprise choice of German Defence Minister Ursula von der Leyen to replace Jean-Claude Juncker came after the main front-runners were rejected.

“Von der Leyen is a very good candidate and a very good choice to head the European Commission. Her capacities and competences totally qualified her.”

He Served Almost His Entire Sentence

Of fifteen years (a life sentence in Germany, by the way. For his part in killing nearly 3,000 innocent people.

September 11

One of the only two people who has been tried and sentenced in connection to the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks is a free man again – and is heading back to his native Morocco.

Mounir el-Motassadeq boarded a flight in Frankfurt on Monday after his conviction more than a decade ago for being a member of a terrorist organization and accessory to the murder of the 246 passengers and crew on the four jetliners used in the attacks.

“It’s a good feeling to know that Mr. Motassadeq is out of the country,” Hamburg’s Interior Minister Andy Grote told The Associated Press…

The only other person sentenced in relation to 9/11 – co-conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui – has been serving a life sentence without parole in Colorado’s ADX Florence, the same facility that houses Boston bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, Unabomber Ted Kaczynski, and other Al Qaeda operatives, like “shoe bomber” Richard Reid.

Mounir al-Motassadek (44) in seine Heimat Marokko abgeschoben – im Ferien-Flieger!

Germans Not Only Fear Donald Trump More Than Vlad Putin

According to an unreleased secret poll yet in my possession…

Trump

Over ninety-seven percent of Germans asked also fear Donald Trump more than Joseph Stalin, Caligula, Jack the Ripper, Freddy Krueger, Jaws (does he, like, actually have a name?) and Chuck Norris. Combined. To name just a few.

The United States may be Germany’s No. 1 ally, but two-thirds of Germans think that the US president is more dangerous than his Russian counterpart. That’s not surprising when you look at Germany’s political priorities.

“Vor einem US-Präsidenten Donald Trump habe ich definitiv mehr Angst als vor Putin.”

Heavy Equipment Operator Uncovers Remains Of Ancient Germanic Civilization

An archaeological find under a playground in Hamburg may now prove once and for all that the mythical Germanic “wet ones” culture actually existed.

Civilization

The “wet ones” or “Nassies” (nass is the German word for wet) were thought to be an ancient “Wald” or forest culture that lived high up in the trees whenever the Romans came marching through town. Or village, actually. Whenever it was raining. Which it practically always does here. Right up to this very freakin’ day even.

Many archaeologists had doubted this culture’s existence up until now, however, attributing the many tales still told by the natives about this “super” albeit wet race to the fantastic realm of mythical bullshit. This may now change.

“The history books might just have to be rewritten,” said Herr Henning, the heavy equipment operator who made the find. “And my backhoe sure the hell is going to have to get fixed. That’s for sure. Who’s going to pay for this anyway?”

Baggerfahrer Henning entdeckte das Nazi-Symbol bei der Arbeit.

Maybe The Taliban Could Run For Election Here, Too

The German election system certainly is a transparent one. It is easy for anyone here who is interested to see, for instance, that Germany’s Bundeswahlleiter (Federal Election Commissioner), whoever that might be, has one hell of a sense of humor.

PLFP

He/she has allowed the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine (PFLP), an Iran-backed terror group, to campaign as a political party in this month’s parliamentary election. The punch line, I guess, or one of them, is that the PFLP plans to run with the Marxist-Leninist Party of Germany.

No one here is interested, however. Why should they be? The PFLP is just another one of those boring, everyday German political parties that puts everybody asleep. Sure, it’s been linked to numerous terror incidents and killings and all that but it’s not like it’s the AfD or anything.

Die MLPD betreibt jetzt Wahlkampf als internationalistische Liste/MLPD, unter anderem mit der palästinensischen Terrororganisation PFLP, die durch Anschläge bekannt wurde.