German Of The Day: “Das War Was Anderes”

“That was something else,” the woman tells her son. And she’s right. It was not a shooting star.

They are arriving, people. The reptoids. And considering Joe Biden‘s speaking and cognitive difficulties, well…

I’m not sure if he’s their leader or anything (because I’m not sure if he could lead himself out of a paper bag) but he is clearly some form of shape-shifting reptilian alien in semi-human form who wants to help them take control of Planet Earth. I wish someone would, actually, but does it have to be them?

I Guess This Guy Was Just Fed Up With People

Personally, I find that calling someone a “cannibal” is politically incorrect and highly offensive. These days, one should refer to them as “humanitarians.”

Cannibal

German police have arrested a 41-year-old man on suspicion of cannibalism after they found human bones stripped completely of flesh in a Berlin suburb.

Berlin prosecutors said Friday they are “investigating at full speed to shed light on the sexual murder with suspicion of a cannibalistic background”.

PS: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of The Worst Recession In Post-War History

A $256.15 quadrillion zillion stimulus package of their own money taken from them by their government and given back to them as a gift (to be paid back to the government by their grandchildren and great-grandchildren and so on should they ever have any) has lifted German spirits.

Berlin

Sort of. But just keep smiling through the Coronavirus stimulus party anyway, Germany.

German consumer morale improved less than expected heading into October, a survey showed on Wednesday, putting a damper on hopes that household spending in Europe’s largest economy will be strong enough to drive a quick recovery from the COVID-19 shock.

The GfK institute said its consumer sentiment index, based on a survey of around 2,000 Germans, edged up to -1.6 heading into October from an upwardly revised -1.7 in the previous month.

30,000 Suspects

So far.

Porno

German police conduct nationwide child pornography raids – Special police units have raided 50 homes across Germany, seizing evidence linked to a ballooning child sexual abuse investigation. Authorities say as many as 30,000 suspects may be involved.

Officials say the investigation has “snowballed,” leading them to a seemingly endless number of individuals linked to the production and distribution of child pornography.

German Of The Day: Dax-Zombie

That means DAX zombie.

DAX

For the first time, a DAX company, Wirecard, has gone broke but won’t be kicked out of the index until September.

Wirecard has filed for insolvency, just days after a $2 billion accounting scandal at the company burst into the open, crashing its stock and leading to the arrest of its former chief executive.

The digital payments company said in a statement Thursday it had opened legal proceedings in Munich “due to impending insolvency and over-indebtedness.” Share

Mit Wirecard ist zum ersten Mal ein Dax-Konzern pleite gegangen. Aus dem Leitindex fliegen dürfte der Konzern aber erst im September.

I Got Your Quantitative Easing For You Right Here, Pal

Imagine that. A nation state (member state) ought to have a say in how its money is spent. What a radical new concept.

Court

Germany’s top court has ruled that the European Central Bank’s mass bond-buying to stabilise the eurozone partly violates the German constitution.

The ruling relates to government debt worth €2.1 trillion (£2tn; $2.3tn) bought by the ECB since 2015, but not purchases in the coronavirus crisis.

The Constitutional Court in Karlsruhe says there is not enough German political oversight in the purchases…

The plaintiffs are a group of German academics, including a former leader of the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD), Bernd Lucke. They argue that the purchases violate the EU ban on one eurozone member subsidising the debts of another.

It is now up to the ECB to explain how its mass bond-buying programme is “proportionate”. The Bundesbank could pull out if it is not satisfied, in three months’ time – which would be a big blow to the eurozone.

What? No Ten Euro Beer This Year?

And no Wiesn-Madl? Now we know this is getting serious, folks.

Oktoberfest

Germany cancels Oktoberfest beer festival due to coronavirus – Germany’s Oktoberfest, the world’s largest folk festival, where revellers from all over the world gather to swig large quantities of beer, has been cancelled due to the coronavirus crisis, the southern state of Bavaria said on Tuesday.

Endgültiges Aus für die Wiesn 2020!

Germans Have Some Of The Strictest Gun Control Laws In The World

Thank goodness, right? Otherwise any wack job could manage to get a gun and go around murdering innocent, unarmed people.

Hanau

This guy was also rambling on about secret underground military bases in US-Amerika where small children are being systematically tortured. See who we’re dealing with here? Or who got dealt with, I should say?

German authorities are starting to piece together exactly what happened in Hanau, when a gunman opened fire on two shisha bars.

At least nine people died in the attack which federal prosecutors are treating as an act of terrorism.

Turkish authorities say a number of those killed were of Turkish origin. Chancellor Angela Merkel said there are signs the shooter had racist motives.

Generalbundesanwalt spricht von „zutiefst rassistischer Gesinnung.”

Germany Has Some Of The Strictest Gun Control Laws In The World

And they are designed to keep the crazy criminal types here from harming the unarmed innocents around them.

Halle

Streaming live from a camera mounted on his helmet, a gunman pushed on the doors of a synagogue, fired several shots at a lock on the door, stuck an explosive in a door jam and lit it.

But he couldn’t get in.

The fact that the door held likely spared the lives of the dozens of people inside the synagogue on Yom Kippur, the holiest day in the Jewish calendar.

Police say the gunman killed two people Wednesday in the eastern German town of Halle — one directly outside the synagogue, and one at a nearby kebab shop. Police have arrested the suspected gunman.

The Perfect Choice

This woman  has been in charge of the German Bundeswehr for what feels like decades and has accomplished absolutely nothing other than to stumble from one self-inflicted scandal to the other without ever having to face the consequences because, being one of Angela Merkel’s top girls (and therefore being more equal than the other girls), she is simply too good and too big to fail.

Leyen

That is why she is the ideal choice to head the European Commission. Un-freakin’-believable.

Germany’s Ursula von der Leyen nominated to lead EU Commission – EU leaders have put forward their nominations for the bloc’s top jobs, with a woman for the first time proposed as European Commission chief.

The surprise choice of German Defence Minister Ursula von der Leyen to replace Jean-Claude Juncker came after the main front-runners were rejected.

“Von der Leyen is a very good candidate and a very good choice to head the European Commission. Her capacities and competences totally qualified her.”