Brand New Cutting-Edge German Anti-Racism Technology Introduced

As reported earlier, racism is suddenly and inexplicably a really, really big problem in Germany. Out of the blue like, so-to-speak. No one can figure out how this happened or why this is so but everyone is telling each other it is so so it must be so.

Unteilbar

To combat this burning German social issue, inventive German social scientists have come up with a brand new anti-racism technology they refer to as the Menschenkette. It is in essence a “human chain” that is designed, we non-social scientist types must assume, to keep racism from “spreading” any further. You know, kind of like the Corona face masks that used to keep the virus from spreading further but apparently don’t work anymore because none of the people in the Menschenkette are wearing them?

Please pass this on to my fellow citizens in US-Amerika immediately! An innovation like this might just end racism over night.

“Unteilbar”-Demonstration: Menschenkette quer durch Berlin.

We’re All Going To Die!

So let’s go on a nice vacation first. It looks like Coronavirus is going to take a little longer than expected to wipe out the German race so Germans aren’t wasting any time getting their priorities straight.

Vacation

Coronavirus: Germany to lift travel ban for 29 European countries on June 15 – The German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas has confirmed that Germany will remove a travel ban on EU member states and some other countries from June 15. However, he stressed that this was not “an invitation to travel.”

“We must not let this lull us into a false sense of security.”

German Of The Day: Übersterblichkeit

That means higher mortality rate.

Dead

But you need to read in which context it is being used here to get the whole message: Nur geringe Übersterblichkeit – Todesfälle im April knapp über dem Schnitt. That is: Only a slightly higher mortality rate – The fatalities in April were just slightly above average.

My, that is odd, isn’t it? Wasn’t April the big Corona month in Germany? Just like everywhere else? And the country’s mortality rate was only slightly higher than usual? There must be a mistake here somewhere. Or were we all mislead to expect something else? Certainly not intentionally. Or was it just ineptitude? Numbers, black on white like that, can be very mysterious sometimes. Especially when they don’t fit your story line.

Im April sterben zwar mehr Menschen in Deutschland als im Durchschnitt – der Anstieg beträgt aber nur wenige Prozent.

Can You Tell The Difference?

Apparently in celebration of the recent trademarking of her name and the #FridaysForFuture movement, climate change activist Greta Thunberg has been turned into a wax statue in Germany.

Greta

No, not her personally. I mean she has been immortalized in sculpture at the Panoptikum wax museum in Hamburg. An interesting twist: Thunberg’s sculpture is reportedly the first in the museum that will change clothes as the seasons change. Kind of odd if you think about it, though. With the temperature rising due to climate change is this going to turn into some kind of bizarre striptease or something? And what about the issue of melting wax, huh? Has anybody given that any thought? Maybe it’s time to start a new movement to combat that. Do I have to think of everything here, people?

Greta 2

Can you tell which one up there is Greta and which one is made of wax? You don’t think both could be made of wax, do you?

58 Percent Female Directors

And 97 percent crappy movies. Which is actually down from past years. So keep up the good work or something.

Crap

The Berlin Film Festival on Wednesday unveiled its Generations sidebar lineup, consisting of 59 children and youth films, with 58 percent of the titles, both feature-length and short films, directed by women.

Berlin organizers recently also said that the festival’s co-production market, where producers look for partners to finance their new projects, will feature more than 50 percent female-directed films for the first time in its 17-year history.

PS: What prevented the token woman from getting her diet coke from the soda machine? She didn’t have enough quotas to pay for it.

It’s Magic

Christmas magic. The German media clones (aka Brain Police) are passing around Christmas presents in a frenzy.

Media

On the one hand: The number of applications for asylum in Europe is climbing again for the first time since 2015 (half a Million). On the other hand: The number of asylum seekers in Germany continues to decline.

At first glance, this doesn’t make much sense. Taking a closer look, however, this doesn’t make any sense at all. But tis the season to be jolly, folks, so when it comes to fake news numbers, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Fast eine halbe Million Menschen: Eurostat meldet laut einem Medienbericht erstmals seit 2015 steigende Asylantragszahlen. Deutschland nimmt jedoch relativ gesehen immer weniger Menschen auf.

Jesus Just Left Chicago

Madrid, actually. But once she got to Germany nobody offered her a place to sit.

Greta

Nobody needed to. She also had a first class ticket. But that’s beside the point or something. I just don’t get it. Doesn’t Greta HERSELF have her own special train or, you know, mobile field headquarters or something along those lines?

Climate activist Greta Thunberg and Germany’s national railway company created a tweetstorm Sunday after she posted a photo of herself sitting on the floor of a train surrounded by lots of bags.

The image has drawn plenty of comment online about the performance of German railways.

Wir wünschen #Greta eine gute Heimfahrt. Und arbeiten weiter hart an mehr Zügen, Verbindungen und Sitzplätzen.

Berlin’s Extinction Rebellion Already Extinct After About Forty Minutes

They were just dying to die-in, I guess.

Extinction

Literally dozens of members of the interplanetary environmentalist movement Extinction Rebellion beamed down to Berlin today to “swarm public squares only to collapse to the ground, symbolizing the death humanity faces if politicians don’t act against climate change” before being beamed back up to the mother ship again (or moth-er ship for that guy up there, maybe). Their message: If nobody “fixes” the climate pronto-like like yesterday already we may come back again before we all die anyway. And you don’t want that.

We’re showing that it’s not just about schoolchildren taking to the streets,” said Jojo, 29, a climate activist who ditched work to attend today’s rally.

Save Planet Earth’s Climate?

Hell yes! Count me in.

Climate 1

Climate 2

Clean up my own neighborhood? Nah, I think I’ll pass on that one.

A “Fridays for Future” demonstration will get 40,000 German environmental activists out on the street in no time. A call to clean up the local neighborhood on “World Cleanup Day” might get about 100 to 150 out of bed (here Frankfurt).

These World Cleanup Folks clearly don’t get the deal. Abstract heroics is were the money is – I mean, people are.

Nur rund 1000 kamen zum großen Aufräumen, sammelten vier Tonnen Müll. Am Main, in Sichtweite des Camps der „Fridays for Future“-Macher, verschlug es gerade mal 150 Freiwillige.

How Will Germany Pay?

Like, duh. The same way Germany pays for its Syrian migrants (three out of four live off the German welfare system). The captive taxpayer audience will pay. Always has, always will. Gladly, even.

Climate

How Will Germany Pay For Its €50bn Climate Plan? After months of intense negotiations between the governing parties in Berlin, Germany on Friday announced a €50 billion package of measures designed to help the country meet its 2030 emissions reduction goals.

Just so you know: Citizens in ridiculously expensive Switzerland already pay half of what the Germans pay for their energy now. And in France, the people take to the streets to protest rising energy costs (gilets jaunes). In Germany, the people take to the streets to protest the latest planned energy price increases not being high enough. German voters want this, in other words. It’s psycho here, folks. I keep telling myself “it’s only a movie, it’s only a movie…” but, sadly, I know it’s real life. As real life as German reality can get.

Strompreise steigen auf Rekordhöhe – auch Gas ist teurer.