“Change has come to Germany!”

Or maybe it hasn’t. Let’s see.

If Angie Merkel’s CDU loses today’s big regional election in big North North Rhine-Westphalia (NRW) big time, it would mean an end to her coalition’s majority in the upper house of parliament, the Bundesrat.

This would threaten long-promised tax cuts and health system reforms. And you know how it is; a long-promised promise is a long-promised promise.

And that would be the “change has come to Germany” part, see? It wouldn’t really change much of anything, in other words.

With the economic crisis dominating the campaign, Mrs Merkel tried to delay a decision on the hugely unpopular rescue package for Greece until after the poll, but failed. Meanwhile, local councils are sinking into debt. Kindergarten fees have gone up, libraries and swimming-pools are closing.

Austerity aw schmerity

Hey, the Europeans learn fast: If you’re going to abandon your economic principles, you might as well do it in a big way.

European governments and the International Monetary Fund have agreed to provide Greece with €110 billion ($145 billion) in loans over the next three years and, in the process, accept junk bonds from Greece as collateral for the humongous aid.

Gee, I could have done that. I sure hope this doesn’t affect the national debt(s) or anything.

As the largest state among the 16 countries belonging to the euro zone, Germany’s contribution to the bailout package will be the biggest.

Still playing populist?

As the Euro starts tanking and investors sell bonds from Europe’s most indebted nations, looks like Germany might be willing to speed up  its efforts to help overcome the Greek fiscal crisis which now seems to include Spain’s downgrade by Standard & Poor’s. Yup, my prediction is that things will be sped up and settled in less than two weeks time, right after the regional elections in North Rhine-Westphalia on May 9.


 
“We’re right to tell the Greeks: you have to save money, you have to be candid and you have to work on your honesty, otherwise we can’t help you,” Merkel said.

Merkel simply reacted to anti-Greek prejudices apparently shared by great numbers in Germany these days, strongly supported by Germany’s biggest tabloid, Bild. “You Greeks are getting nothing from us,” headlines say. When young policymakers of Merkel’s Christian Democrat and Liberal coalition in a newspaper article asked Greece to sell a few of their islands to solve the problem, it was only the beginning of a series of rather unhelpful proposals.

Such reactions to the crisis are worrying. According to their rhetoric, German politicians don’t seem to realise what’s at stake. With Greece shattered and Portugal and Spain at risk, they still imply that, in order to tackle the crisis, the lazy Greeks simply had to bite the bullet.

This might help to win a regional election. It just might not be enough to prevent the break-up of the European currency.

Better save than sorry

“It’s not like we don’t trust you or anything, Greece,” Germany said. “It’s just that we don’t trust you.”

Profiting the most from the EU by being its biggest winner (exporter), when push comes to shove, Germany always has to shell out the most too.

That’s the part they don’t like, understandably – that amount up there (in billions)  is what Germany will be paying to bail out Greece. And they will help bail them out too, of course. But with another regional election rolling around in Germany again and all, Merkel and Co. are going to make the Greeks agree to save until it hurts first.

“If Greece is ready to accept tough measures, not just in one year but over several years, then we have a good chance to secure the stability of the euro for us all.”

The spy(s) who came down with a cold

Actually, it’s their currency that has a cold at the moment.

Germany’s Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble told the Bundestag on March 16 that the country may have to consider ordering “intelligence agencies to set up surveillance of who is getting together with whom for which kinds of speculative processes, and where” to protect the euro.

Germans and their torture instruments

Not only are Germans good at exporting expensive weapon systems, they’re also top-notch torture instrument exporters.

Or at least that’s what Amnesty International thinks they are. Of course Amnesty International also thinks that cold spinach is a torture instrument. Having to eat it, I mean. Which I guess it is, come to think of it. But still.

Nur sieben europäische Länder halten sich dem Amnesty Bericht zufolge an ihre Verpflichtung, Exporte derartiger Gegenstände öffentlich zu machen.

Cheapness is what we want

Still. But it looks like we’re not going to be getting it anymore. Here in Berlin, I mean. When it comes to cheap rent.

The average rent for new rentals has gone up nearly 5 percent since 2008, in some of the angesagte (hot) districts nearly 7 percent.

So much for finding your cheap ecologicial, I mean economical niche in Berlin, I guess. Although it’s still WAY cheaper to live here than in other German cities or gar (even) in “real” cities like London, Paris, New York, etc.  And it will probably stay that way for a while yet, maybe, I hope.

This trend will continue, however, the smart guys say. There are ever more renters out there looking for apartments in a stagnant market – and only about 13 percent of Berliners actually own their own. Ich bin ein Berliner, they must be thinking, but I don’t necessarily want to own a piece of it.

Dieser Trend wird anhalten, so der Marktbericht, den die GSW am Donnerstag vorstellte. Denn in Berlin konkurrieren immer mehr Haushalte um die stagnierende Zahl der Mietwohnungen – und Wohneigentum leistet sich nur eine Minderheit (13 Prozent).

Here people work until they are 67?

You know how it is, the best thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.

And that’s just what Germany’s Bild newspaper did during a lecturing session to Greece the other day. The newspaper basically called on the Greeks to adopt something they called “a more Germanic work ethic” in an open letter to Greek prime minister Papandreou.

What a joke. This is hilarious. This is hilarious because the Germanic work ethic is a hilarious myth.

My favorite lecture claim here? The one about Germans working until they’re 67. Ha, ha, ha. Every German knows that this is a big fat lie. But hey, if it makes you feel good to believe in such Märchen (fairy tales), whatever.

Anyway, you go Greece. Actually what I mean is that you’d better get going while the going’s good.

Germans tell Greeks to rise earlier and work harder to avoid financial crisis

Greeks to boycott German products they can’t afford to pay for right now anyway

Pissed off about a Focus magazine cover depicting Venus de Milo (some old Greek actress or something) flipping off the rest of Europe (meaning Germany) and carrying the title “Crooks in the Euro Family”, the Greek Consumer Association has called for the boycott of German goods which nobody in Greece can afford to buy right now anyway.

The Greeks are a little touchy these days because their government/state/civilization is on the verge of bankruptcy or something (like join the club already). The Germans are a little touchy these days because the Germans are always a little touchy.

Die Verfälschung einer Statue der griechischen Geschichte, Schönheit und Zivilisation, die aus einer Zeit stammt, wo sie (die Deutschen) Bananen auf Bäumen gegessen haben, ist unverzeihlich und nicht hinnehmbar.”