The next euro whammy? Now it’s time to assist Portugal. Bring out your Microcurrency, Germany. But don’t spend it all at one place.
“The alternative currency is not some gimmicky fundraiser. It may look a little like Monopoly money, but the chiemgauer is real. One chiemgauer equals one euro. It’s been around for eight years, almost as long as the euro, the common currency now used by 16 of the 27 EU members.”
“I can’t give it away on Fifth Avenue.”
But here in Berlin it’s, uh, anders (different).
Boo, or something.
Berlin Fashion Week: The Good, the Bad, and the Terrifying
If you want to. But you don’t want to, so you won’t. Despite a falling inflation rate and all the coaxing from the outside you want, Germans “can’t get over their stingy ways and fiscal paranoia to boost spending” (they don’t seem to mind if everybody else out there does the spending for them though).
“Germany seems to be preparing instead to further cut back on spending. Unlike most Americans, Germans pay their credit card bills in full at the end of every month. Only 39% own their own houses or apartments, compared with two-thirds of Britons and Americans. Only about 10% of Germans invest in the stock market, compared with half of all Americans.
Last year, Germany expanded public spending meant to stimulate growth, but at the same time it imposed a constitutional requirement to bring the deficit down to below 0.35% of GDP by 2016, a goal critics describe as unrealistic and unnecessary.
All of this contributes to the impression, shared by Germans themselves, that a strong strain of frugality shapes the national psyche.”
72 percent of Germans are online.
Right this moment, I mean. I assume.
Fast 19 Millionen Deutsche ab 14 Jahren haben derzeit keinen Zugang zum Internet.
“Nothing beats grilled octopus.”
“Throw him in the frying pan!”
“Cut him up in thin slices and grill him on all sides with a dash of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on it. Delicious!”
“Die Scheißkrake hatte Recht.”
Wow. This is going to help Obama a lot.
After long, real long, way long deliberation, Germany has finally decided to magnanoumously accept two (2) infamous inmates from the infamous US-American Guantanamo Bay detention camp. They’re going to get locked up here in the infamous German hell hole of Rhineland-Palatinate, however. But still.
Or at least one of them is going to get locked up there, I should say. The other guy gets to go to Hamburg – for a hell hole of a good time.
Luckily for the inamates, they don’t speak any German and have no idea what or where they’re headed to – not just yet.
“It took so long because we had to conduct our investigation responsibly.”
It’s all over. Pack it up and go home, Germany.
Paul the Psychic Octopus says you’re going to lose against Spain tomorrow night.
It ain’t over till it’s over, but it’s over.
You know, like this one.
Or this one.
Or maybe this one here.
Don’t ask. Germans are always finding crocodiles in their rivers and lakes that aren’t actually there. It’s just what they do. You know, an annual ritual kind of thing. Usually in the summer. When it’s hot. Kinda like it is now.
Daraufhin machte sich die Polizei mit dem Boot auf die Suche nach den Echsen. Ohne Ergebnis.
Not yet.
According to a Swiss study entitled “Germany Report 2035”, if the demographically challenged German nation does not modernize it’s act real pronto – raising the retirement age, letting in more immigrants, putting more women to work and increasing the number of hours worked each week – the country’s average annual growth rate will only reach an anemic 1 percent over the coming 25 years.
So hey, the change that’s about to happen here is going to start spinning everybody’s heads, right? Right.
Besides, this is a Swiss report.
Die Zahl der Arbeitsfähigen sinkt um mehr als acht Millionen.
(And they haven’t even beat Argentina yet) German neo-Nazis don’t like them.
For neo-Nazis it is next to impossible to back a team that includes players with names like Boateng, Özil or Podolski. This German national team is the most ethnically diverse ever, celebrated widely as finally being representative of the wider German society. But to the far right, a squad where 11 of the 23 have migrant backgrounds is no longer really German.
“The black-red-gold flag that attaches itself to the Federal Republic of Germany is not the flag of the German nation! Whoever proudly waves that flag is supporting the exact opposite of what is really German and national.”
Observing Hermann 