When Germans start calling for a new messiah, I, for one, start paying close attention. I even went as far as to read this Spiegel article in its entirety, which, needless to say, doesn’t happen very often.

Trying desperately to stop the current worldwide media trend away from climate issues, concerned environmentalists everywhere are trying desperately to get everybody else concerned about the climate again without appearing to be trying to do so so desperately, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Well it’s not working for me.

The Spiegel‘s panicked and pitiful analysis of what might maybe out to be done to re-kick-start an issue that seems to have sputtered out unexpectedly clearly demonstrates the current greenish cluelessness regarding the, uh, non-matter. To sum it up:

Mind bombs (highly emotional images “that reduce a complex problem down to one core message” — think drowning polar bears) aren’t working. So we need better ones (?).

A new kind of journalism is suddenly necessary (duh) and that’s why “climate activists have begun directing millions in funding into training programs.” What they could possibly be teaching these re-programed journalists is unclear at this time (I thought striving to uncover the truth had been a good enough method up until now, but that’s just me).

And then came “think smaller,” “get quiter” and “more sex.” Finally, something we can all agree upon.

Zu guter Letzt (and last but not least), finally, that disturbing paragraph about “the search for a new messiah.” Talk about creepy. They even mentioned Al Gore. I can share their pain though, in a way, because let’s face it, who on God’s Green Earth have they possibly got left? Julian Assange is currently, well, detained and the President of the United States has already fired his environmental (and every other kind of) round and is so no longer available that it’s not even funny.

If any of you out there have any suggestions as to who might be the next best messiah guy or gal out there, please let me know. Or better yet, pass your suggestions on to somebody who actually cares.

“British science magazine Nature identified two reasons for this loss of credibility. One was mistakes, made public around a year ago, in the UN’s 2007 climate report. The other was the so-called “Climategate” scandal involving the e-mails stolen from the climate researchers at the University of East Anglia.”

PS: I think they ought to maybe go with Focus Magazine’s new marketing strategy (see above) and start selling climate change as some really way cool and wonderful thing.