Climate Change Is Real

And some even maintain that the climate has never not changed. No, for real.

Winter

But this here is only weather. Meaning it is unreal. Or fake, if you prefer. Snow in February? In Germany? What a topsy-turvy world we now live in, folks. When will these capricious shifts in weather, I mean climate patterns ever end? Somebody do something about it already.

Germany braces for extreme winter weather – DWD, the German Weather Service, forecast heavy snow and icy temperatures this weekend. Officials said non-essential journeys should be avoided as a number of train services were axed.

 

Diverse German Storms To Get Diverse German Storm Names

Only they’re not German. The names. You can’t make this stuff up, people.

Storm

Even the weather in Germany must submit to the dictates of the Diversity Cult.

Move over, Siegfried. Ahmet is on the way.

A journalists’ group has named a low pressure system bringing low temperatures, dark clouds and snow to Germany after the boy’s name of Turkish origin in an effort to increase the visibility of the country’s increasingly diverse population.

“So far, our weather had mostly typical German names only, even though 26% of people in Germany have migrant roots.”

World Ending Again

In Germany.

Heat

In a country where everyone is always complaining about the lack of sunshine, several consecutive months of heat and sunshine (in other countries referred to as “the summer”) have led the alarmist fringe of the population (that’s roughly 97% of the population) to the scientific conclusion that they now find themselves smack dab in the middle of a major “state of meteorological emergency” and are all going to die even before the sky gets the chance to fall down. If only the gray skies and rain would come back so they could bitch and moan about that again! As nature intended.

What makes summer 2018 an exception is the unusually long period of heat. Such a persistent period of fine weather, with lots of sunshine and little rain, occurs on average once every 10 years at most in the country. And given the lack of rain, it’s not the heat that’s the problem, but the drought — especially in northern and eastern Germany, where there has been virtually no rainfall in some places since May.

This may be due to climate change, but it may also be unrelated. Germany has also experienced extreme droughts in previous years. In 1992, for example, when wheat withered away in the fields, wells dried up and priests prayed for rain at church services. Or in 1971, when forest fires flared up in many places across the country. Or in 1947, when even drinking water became scarce.

“Somebody is always complaining. It’s sheer nonsense.”

Spring Has Sprung

And twisted an ankle or something.

Spring

And this German Bauernregel (farmer or folk saying) doesn’t sound very promising, either: „Wie das Wetter um den Frühlingsanfang, so hält es sich den ganzen Sommer lang.” As the weather begins in spring, all through the summer will be the same thing. Dumb-ass farmers.

Eiskalt kehrt der Winter zurück.

Google To Help German Solar Power Fans Find Areas In Germany With More Than Five Minutes Of Sunshine Per Day

Or per week. Per month? Anyway, they’re helping as best as they can.

Solar

Google’s Project Sunroof, which estimates whether homes get enough sunlight to switch over to solar power, is launching in Germany today. It’s the first time Sunroof has expanded outside the US, where it finally reached all 50 states earlier this year after launching in 2015.

Wer überlegt, auf einem Hausdach eine Solaranlage zu installieren, wüsste gerne, wie hoch die damit erzielten Einnahmen sein können. Auf einer von Google und E.ON eingerichteten Seite lassen sich die nun vorab abschätzen.

Germans Pissed Off At Natural Catastrophe

Who’s in charge of this flood, anyway? Many wet Germans have begun asking themselves and others this question as the worst flooding the country has seen in over a decade moves northward through the country but not nearly fast enough if you ask them.

Flooding

Normally in rapture with everything and anything that has to do with nature and the natural environment, this flood is the second Jahrhundertflut (flood of the century) within the past 12 years and patience for this excessive outpouring of nature’s splendor is rapidly wearing thin.

Germans simply cannot stand things that are not planned well, you see, and this cataclysmic inundation was clearly an organizational nightmare right from the start. The flood waters refused to stay in designated tributaries and caused chaos and hurt feelings pretty much right from day one as the rainfall that caused the flooding came all at once. Causing the flooding. Like I said.

The responsible party for this natural catastrophe has yet to be located (except for the usual suspect global warming, yawn, but that doesn’t really count because global warming is responsible for everything), but when he or she is, there’s going to be hell to pay.

“Piss off!”

Global Warming Still Causing Colder Weather In Germany

In February, of all months. And in Germany, of all countries.

Global Warming

According to German meteorologist Dominik Jung, Germany has just set a new record for having its 5th colder-than-normal winter in a row.

In light of recent scientific predictions that Central Europe would soon not be having any winters at all, several of the scientists who had made these predictions are now attributing this unexpected climatic odditiy to a newly discovered global warming abnormality they are now calling “Winterwetter.”

Winterwetter seems to have a direct relationship to the global warming theory postulate asserting that water vapor and clouds will temporarily cancel out the warming effect of CO2 emissions currently destroying our planet, thus temporarily reversing the deadly global warming trend for a small period each and every year lying roughly between the seasons of autumn and spring and directly affecting countries like Germany with unreasonably and unseasonably cold weather until the more unreasonably and unseasonably warm weather returns again.

Am Montag könnte die Schneedecke noch einmal deutlich anwachsen. Erst ab Mitte der Woche ist Besserung in Sicht.

Mysterious Cold White Powder Falling From The Sky

What is this bizarre weather phenomenon?

Snow

Concerned Germans and climate activists everywhere are puzzled by a strange form of precipitation in the form of crystalline water ice that has suddenly begun falling from the clouds all over Germany.

“Although we have only just begun our studies now,” everyone said in unison. “This is clearly another indication of the direct relationship between Global Warming and the gases (particularly CO2) we have emitted into the atmosphere. Brrr! Is this one cold puppy or what?”

60 Zentimeter Schnee auf der Zugspitze in Bayern. Bis zu einem halben Meter in den Mittelgebirgen. Selbst in Schleswig-Holstein liegen 20 Zentimeter Schnee.

I Don’t Know Weather To Believe This Or Not

“This is how the weather will be in Germany until 2100?”

I’d be happy if they could just get the weather report for tomorrow right once in awhile.

“In the future, climate change will hold ready for Germany more sun and severe storms in the summer and intense rainfall in mild winters.”

„Ein einzelnes zu kühles Jahr sagt nichts über Trends aus.“