That Was Close

Just in time, people. Brussels has just proudly and loudly announced that it plans to encourage and better protect whistleblowers in order to help them “bring light to scandals that would otherwise remain in the dark.” You know, like the Facebook thing, the Panama Papers, scandals like that. Or maybe like this one right down here?


“Experts Strongly Suspect Corruption in the European Council.” Several members of the European Council are suspected of having taken bribes from Azerbaijan in exchange for political support.

Perfect. They really think these things through, don’t they? So now it’s time to step up to the plate and start shedding some light on this for us, European Council whistleblowers. But don’t worry. Brussels will protect you. Oh, I forgot. You are Brussels. Why, see? Then there’s even less for you to worry about.

“Es sollte keine Strafe dafür geben, das Richtige zu tun.”

Gazprom Gerd Gets A Raise

You’ve got to have principles. As many as possible. For all eventualities. Take former German chancellor Gazprom Gerhard Schroeder (SPD), for instance. Please.


His nomination to the board of Rosneft, Russia’s largest oil company – majority-owned by the Russian government – is breathtaking in its brazenness. You can’t really call it a sell-out, however. This guy sold out long ago.

Rosneft is under Western sanctions over Moscow’s role in the Ukraine crisis. By pure coincidence, Schroeder, who calls Vladimir Putin his friend, has regularly criticized any moves to impose sanctions on Russia.

I know it’s hard to take an unpopular stand sometimes, especially when it is unethical, mercenary and just plain wrong, but he certainly is consistent here, at least.

“Schröder macht sich zum russischen Söldner.”

PS: Germany is predictably outraged about this (not) (or not particularly). But rest assured that if this had been a US-Amerkan oil company there would have been hell to pay.

We Are Still More Equal Than The Rest Of You

German lawmakers are like lawmakers everywhere else on the planet. At least when it comes to giving themselves raises, they are. They give themselves modest raises, of course, albeit at very regular intervals, and as quietly as humanly possible.

This time they’re giving themselves a ridiculously measly 500 euro a month raise, bringing the grand total up to a less than measly 10,700 euros per month.

Now that may seem like a lot to you, but it really isn’t. Ask any SPD man and he’ll tell you why: “Representatives cannot be compared to those in lower income brackets.”

Well there we have it. They have to be on equal footing with others out there with, uh, I dunno,  lots of money? Otherwise they might be susceptible to corruption or something. And we (I mean you) don’t want that because in Germany, as you may know, there is no corruption. So shut up and pay up.

“Abgeordnete kann ich nicht vergleichen mit unteren Einkommensgruppen.”