Like Rats Leaving A Sinking Ship

Only the ship already sank and the rats are all wet. In more ways than one.

Rats

Sometimes you’ve got to lose in life to get ahead. Like three times in a row. As did the SPD‘s top candidate for the elections in Hesse, Thorsten Schäfer-Gümbel, before landing this way cool cushy job as Personalvorstand bei der staatseigenen Gesellschaft für internationale Zusammenarbeit (GiZ) – the Human Resources Director at the State-Owned Company for International Cooperation – yesterday. For 200,000 euros a year.

Now that’s the kind of Social Democracy I can live with, pal. And hey; without losers, where would the winners be?

KÜNFTIG RUND 200 000 EURO JAHRESGEHALT FÜR PARTEI-VIZE SCHÄFER-GÜMBEL. Spitzenjob als Belohnung für SPD-Wahlverlierer!

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Why Not?

She would certainly take uncontrolled migration more seriously than the current chancellor does.

Merkel

A Muslim as German chancellor? CDU leader slammed for saying ‘why not’

The party of Chancellor Angela Merkel has been roiled by a debate about whether a Muslim could lead the CDU and one day become chancellor. One lawmaker couldn’t believe anyone would even suggest such a thing.

“Why not, if they’re a good politician, and they represent our values and our political views?”

PS: Happy International Women’s Day!

Women

German Of The Day: Antidemokratisch

That means antidemocratic.

Quotas

Women in Germany won the right to vote in 1918, but a century later they still do not enjoy equal representation. Though the country is led by a woman — who will, most likely, be succeeded by another woman — fewer than a third of the members of the federal Parliament, the Bundestag, are female.

That’s why leading figures from all major German parties are now calling for parity: a 50-50 quota for male and female representatives in the Bundestag and the 16 state-level Parliaments. But is achieving a gender balance in Germany’s legislatures worth weakening another hard-fought accomplishment, the right to free electoral choice?

In a word, no.

Der gute Zweck heiligt nicht den Zwang.

German Of The Day: Weihnachten

That means Christmas. You know, like the word for Christmas that the German Integrationsbeauftragte (Integration Commissioner) purposely left off of her official Christmas card greeting this year?

Weihnachten

“No matter what you believe in…” She writes, “We wish you a peaceful holiday season and a good start in the coming year.” But no mention of the word Christmas. You know, for like, I dunno, Christians?

You certainly couldn’t call Weihnachten a dirty four-letter word. It’s way bigger than that. But it’s sure dirty enough because in the Germany of 2018 it’s the kind of word you do not to want to put into your mouth, much less into writing, during the Christmas, I mean holiday season. At least not when you’re the Integration Commissioner here.

But wait. Shouldn’t that be one of the first words somebody interested in integration in Germany would want to use?

“Es ist bedauerlich, dass falsch verstandene Toleranz augenscheinlich dazu führt, dass Weihnachten, das Fest der Liebe, unsichtbar wird.”

Germany Idealistic, Naive And Leftist?

How ya figure?

Maassen

“I’m seen in Germany as a critic of idealistic, naive and leftist foreign and security policy,” the fired head of German domestic intelligence said on his way out. He just got put out to pasture. Early. Thought criminals pay heed.

Dismissed when he questioned the authenticity of videos showing far-right extremists chasing immigrants in the eastern city of Chemnitz, Maassen became the lightening rod of German self-righteous rage.

This time Maassen, whose agency monitors extremist threats to Germany’s constitutional order, compared the videos to Russian propaganda and presented himself as the victim of a witch-hunt by “radical-left forces” in the Social Democratic Party (SPD), junior partner in Merkel’s coalition.

“I can imagine a life outside public service, for example in politics or business.”

German Of The Day: Vorsitz

That means chair (of a company). Or chairman. Or chairwoman in this case.

Vorsitz

And chairwoman of the CDU is what Angela Merkel now no longer wants to be.

Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany on Monday took her first concrete steps to move away from political life, saying she would give up leadership of her conservative party while vowing to finish out her term as chancellor until 2021.

Ms. Merkel made her announcement, in a meeting of conservative leaders, after two disastrous results in regional elections that saw her party and its allies slump to near-record lows.

“Zeit, ein neues Kapitel aufzuschlagen.”

The Natives Are Getting Restless

The Empress of Germany/Europe is getting headwinds from members of her own party. Of all mere people.

Empress

Two relatively unknown CDU politicians are planning to challenge Angela Merkel for the position of party chairwoman of the CDU during the party’s conference this coming December. Only the winner would then be referred to as the party “chairman” if elected. But still.

How rude. She’s only been in the highest echelon of the CDU for eighteen years (and chancellor since 2005). More respect, please. She’s like, I dunno, the Robert Mugabe of Europe. Never touch a running system and all that. Not even when they’re non-running ones.

“Mir ist bewusst, dass es keine Wahl auf Augenhöhe sein wird. Dennoch ist dieser Schritt notwendig.”

And What About The Illegal Aliens From Outer Space?

World famous for opening their borders to illegal aliens from anywhere and everywhere else in this world, German Green politicians were recently stunned to discover that their government has failed to adequately prepare for the possible arrival of illegal aliens from other worlds.

Aliens

“So how do you organize a welcome party for an alien race?” asked a flustered CDU politician during intense questioning. “You planet!” the Greens shouted back.

The German government says it has made no preparations for the possibility that aliens might land in the European country.

In a response to questions from opposition Green Party lawmaker Dieter Janecek, the government said “there are no protocols or plans for a possible first contact with alien life.”

“A first contact on German territory is extremely unlikely, based on today’s scientific knowledge.”