We Love You, Germany

And all you German peoples.

And all that wonderful German financial aid you will be giving us before the dust even settles in Kabul.

Germans welcome in Afghanistan, Taliban spokesperson says – A Taliban spokesman has said Germans are welcome in Afghanistan and that the group hopes Berlin will open diplomatic ties. The militant Islamist group is aiming for international legitimacy — as well as substantial aid.

German Of The Day: Kapitulationserklärung

That means declaration of surrender.

And here you thought Joe Biden was good at hightailing it – and of course he’s world class, let’s face it. Just watch how he leaves a press conference if you don’t believe me. But the Germans are abandoning Kabul and the tens of thousands of Afghans who helped them TODAY. They’re not even going to wait for Joe’s deadline of August 31. Sorry, I meant of course the Taliban’s deadline. They call the shots in Washington now.

Es sollte die große Afghanistan-Rede der Kanzlerin sein – und es wurde zu einer Kapitulationserklärung! Am Mittwoch versuchte Bundeskanzlerin Angela Merkel (67, CDU), das Versagen der Regierung zu rechtfertigen. Sie versprach, das Land trotz Taliban-Übernahme nicht aufzugeben.

German Of The Day: Unter Beschuss

That means under fire.

Thank goodness Joe Biden has “made progress” and continues to have the situation under control.

A firefight broke out between unidentified gunmen, Western security forces and Afghan guards at the North Gate of Kabul airport on Monday, Germany’s armed forces said, as thousands of Afghans and foreigners thronged the airport, seeking to flee Taliban rule.

One Afghan guard was killed and three others were injured in the battle, which also involved US and German forces, the German military said on Twitter, without specifying whether the dead Afghan was one of the Taliban fighters deployed to guard the airport.

In dem Gefecht seien eine afghanische Sicherheitskraft getötet und drei weitere verletzt worden, meldete die Bundeswehr auf Twitter. Demnach ereignete sich der Angriff um 4.13 Uhr deutscher Zeit.

“Shames The West”

That’s right. The “correct,” woke German take. Not “shames the individual responsible,” Joe Biden.

The “West” may be clinically dead, but it’s reassuring to know that the reflex of our collective, knee-jerk obsession with guilt still works.

Afghan turmoil ‘shames’ the West, says German president – Images of throngs trying to flee Kabul are shameful for Western nations, Germany’s president said on Tuesday, as desperate people clamoured at the airport after the Taliban takeover.

“We are experiencing a human tragedy for which we share responsibility.”

But It Was Done Orderly

I’m sure. The seven (7) people evacuated from Kabul on the first German flight out were evacuated orderly and comfortably.

Not like the 800 people on board that C-17A cargo jet up there.

A first German military plane to land in Kabul since the Taliban takeover evacuated only seven people, the government said on Tuesday, due to chaos at the Afghan capital’s airport.

Germany, which had the second largest military contingent in Afghanistan after the United States, wants to airlift thousands of German-Afghan dual nationals as well as rights activists, lawyers and people who worked with foreign forces.

Local Hires?

Now hiring. Not.

It’s more like firing. In more ways than one.

What To Do With Local Hires?

With the Taliban rapidly taking control in Afghanistan, Berlin doesn’t have much time left to protect local hires from potential harm. Meanwhile, a potential new wave of refugees from the country threatens to become a dominant issue in the general election campaign.

“The call was unfortunately made by accident. You are actually not eligible for asylum.”

This Ought To Stop The Taliban

Why didn’t anybody think of this before?

Germany won’t give money to Afghanistan if Sharia law is introduced -foreign minister.

Germany will not provide any financial support to Afghanistan if the Taliban takes over power in the country and introduces Sharia law, its foreign minister told broadcaster ZDF on Thursday.

If that doesn’t strighten them up, the central European country is also considering holding its breath until it turns blue in the face.

Spying? On What?

An Afghan linguist has been arrested in the Rhineland for spying for Iran to get – now get this – information about German military operations in Afghanistan.

Bundeswehr

What German military operations in Afghanistan? We need to get our spies moving on this, too. And pronto. Talk about top secret stuff. Not even the Bundeswehr knows about any German military operations in Afghanistan.

The German armed forces (Bundeswehr) have up to 1,300 personnel in the international security force in Afghanistan, with a mandate currently running until the end of March.

Based in Mazar-e-Sharif, a northern city, the German contingent’s job is to train Afghan government troops, carry out surveillance and protect humanitarian missions. They have been involved in clashes with Taliban insurgents…

Clashes with the Taliban? A few fender benders with the Taliban or what? Or was it loud haggling over the price of a carpet?

Der gebürtige Afghane arbeitete für die Bundeswehr als Sprachauswerter und landeskundlicher Berater. Für den iranischen Geheimdienst soll er bereits seit mehreren Jahren gearbeitet haben.

But Then Who’s Going To Protect Us?

German ISAF (I Saw Americans Fighting) are already packing their bags in Afghanistan.

ISAF

President Donald Trump’s mooted decision to pull half the US troops out of Afghanistan could mean that the German military follows suit, according to a former head of the Bundeswehr.

“If the United States reduces itself to a small contingent in Afghanistan there’s no reason for us to continue the mission anymore,” retired General Harald Kujat, inspector general of the German military between 2000 and 2002, told the Tagesspiegel newspaper on Thursday.

He added that it was “out of the question” to maintain a military presence in Afghanistan if the protection and support of German troops could not be guaranteed, though he said he expected other NATO members, such as the UK, to increase their contribution to make up for any US withdrawal.

I mean, what on earth do the Americans expect the German army to do? Protect themselves? Like, with firearms or something?

German Of The Day: Kriminalstatistik

That means crime statistics. And the statistic that just came out about suspected criminal refugees in Germany rose 52.7 percent between 2015 and 2016 – to 174,438.

Refugee

If this were all just petty crime that would be bad enough but Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees (BAMF) says now that thousands of migrants had identified themselves as former Taliban insurgents during the asylum application process. At least they were honest, right? My, Germany certainly has a generous immigration policy.

So there are more criminal refugees here than anybody figured? How you figure? That must be some kind of mistake. All the popular media outlets have been suggesting the opposite. And still are, for that matter.

Zahl der tatverdächtigen Zuwanderer steigt um 52,7 Prozent.