Grumbling German Jihadis Go Home

The German jihad just ain’t what it used to be.

A lot like those disgruntled Auswanderer (emigrant) types on Goodby Deutschland who invariably tuck in their tails and head back home in disgrace, hundreds of aspiring Islamic terrorists from Germany (and their families) have had it up to here already in Waziristan and are heading back to Deutschland in frustration and disgust.

It turns out that their living conditions in the mountains were tougher and less romantic than those portrayed in the promotional clips and what with the disease and the hardship and death always raining down from the sky from American drones and dozens of German combatants already dead, hey, not even going back to live in Germany seemed all that bad a prospect anymore.

What do you think? Which one of these guys is going to turn out to be the next Daniela Katzenberger?

“The first time I heard about going to Pakistan, my eyes almost popped out of my head. I didn’t even know if you could get Pampers there.”

Still abstract enough?

The non-threat, I mean? Not if you were one of the five or more German militants in Pakistan’s border area with Afghanistan who just killed in a drone attack. They may have been linked to a group that is thought to be planning attacks on European cities so the threat got very quickly very concrete for them. Opps, I meant European cities that aren’t German, of course.

What the US broadcaster Fox News and other media are putting out to the world as allegedly concrete warnings is negligent and damaging, and the substance is ridiculous.”

200 million for Haiti, 2 million for Pakistan?

That’s how much (or little) Germans have donated privately to the victims of the flood catastrophe in Pakistan so far; 2 million euros.

I’m not going to judge anybody here, you should donate what you feel like donating. But that’s the problem with Pakistan, I guess. For some strange reason, the Haitians’ suffering was one hundred times more deserving than the suffering going on in Pakistan right now, or felt like it was.

Image isn’t everything. Or is it the only thing?

UN-Angaben zufolge warten rund sechs Millionen Menschen dringend auf Nahrung, Wasser, Medizin und ein Obdach.

Germans in drag

OK, fine. But in Pakistan?

A German national terrorist type wearing a burqa got busted by Pakistani security forces while trying to sneak through a security check post in northwestern Pakistan.

Worse still, he was also wearing one of those loud and annoying German World Cup flag jerseys and antler sets everybody’s wearing around here these days – or he might as well have been.

The German was wearing a full-body sewing cloth that Muslim women wear for cultural and religious reasons.

Pakistan ist eben anders

Pakistan is just different, you know. Than Germany, I mean.

I was at a the hairdresser, an elderly man who doesn’t resort to electric clippers. All he has is a creaky pair of scissors, a comb and aerosol with water. He did a neat job bit I wasn’t entirely happy.

I said: “I look like Hitler.”

He looked at me in the mirror, gave a satisfied smile and said: “Yes, yes, very nice.”

In the Islamic world, not just in Pakistan but right across from Iran to northern Africa, anti-Semitic sentiment of course plays a role.