Tag Archives: Song Contests

Plans Already Well Underway For Next Year’s Last Place Eurovision Showing

September 14, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking, Humor, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , , , , , 4 Comments

For Germany, I mean.

ESC

German producer Stefan Raab has already developed a so-called Vorentscheid or preliminary decision show to let German Eurovision fans experience up close and personal and far in advance just which German act will fall flat on its face in 2017.

A jury of representatives from the German music business has already been selected that will in turn select one unlucky winner to represent the Federal Republic during the international TV song competition as it is systematically shamed, disgraced and humiliated for the third year running at least.

Versteht nur Stefan Raab den ESC?

What Part Of Last Place Don’t You Understand?

May 15, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Humor, Hurt Feelings, Hustle (Hoax), Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , 3 Comments

I think I’m beginning to detect a pattern here. Didn’t Germany get last place at the Eurovision freak show last year, too?

Eurovision

And it’s not like the voting is ever politically motivated or anything, you guys. It’s strictly about the music. And that’s what makes this happening so, well, I dunno. Creepy?

But instead of seeing this last place as a badge of honor, it looks as though the Germans have hurt feelings about the results, yet again. So, in the end, I guess everybody wins after all, right?

Um das neue Punktesystem vollends zu begreifen, muss man vermutlich noch mindestens zwei Semester ESC-Wissenschaft studieren.

Send The Monk Dudes

February 25, 2016 By in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness, High Art, Home Cooking Tags: , , , , Leave a comment

They are by far the snappiest dressers. And they’re like, monks.

Monks

That’s right, folks. the Eurovision Song Contest* is coming up fast so the big question these days is: Who will Germany send to the freak show this year?

Damn. The only thing that could possibly top these guys would be a German girl burqa group. What a minute. Do you think…

With a mix of Gregorian chant and pop, the all-male choir is hoping to garner a ticket to Stockholm for the Eurovision Song Contest. The finale is set for May 14, 2016. The eight-man ensemble has 16 years of experience with live shows and has toured all over the world.

*They like to refer to it here as “ESC” but talk about your misnomer because there is definitely no escape.

 

If It Wasn’t For Last Place We Wouldn’t Have No Place At All

May 24, 2015 By in Hard Facts, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking, Hurt Feelings Tags: , , , , , , 5 Comments

Alllemagne, null points.

Eurovision

Deutschlands Schmach wird Teil einer Ausstellung: Es ist kein putziger Zufall, sondern tiefe Einsicht und Ausdruck der österreichischen Gemütslage, dass zum ESC im ehrwürdigen Leopold-Museum eine Ausstellung zu sehen ist, die “The Nul-Pointers” heißt. Der in Wien lebende deutsche Schriftsteller Tex Rubinowitz hat sie erstellt und dafür alle bisher 34 Sängerinnen und Sänger mit eiligem Strich auf Holztafeln gemalt, die im Wettbewerb null Punkte bekamen. Es ist eine witzige Schau mit traurigen Gesichtern, in einem Raum werden deren Lieder gespielt.