German Of The Day: Fremdschämen

That means being embarrassed – for someone else.

And this particular embarrassment has less to do with a stupid song and its stupid song lyrics than it does with the fact that authorities feel the need to censor it.

Schlager louts? Row erupts over ‘sexist’ pop hit in Germany – Town festival authorities refuse to play chart-topping Layla by DJ Robin & Schürze, prompting complaints of censorship.

“People are being prescribed how they should talk, how to write, and now how to party. This prudish nannying of the politically correct bregade must stop. We are heading for an anti-fun society.”

And here you thought Germany was an anti-fun society already.

The Trouble With Diversity Is That It’s So Monotonous

Take Eurovision, for instance. Please.

Eurovision

And this competition is so rigged. At least it was this year. It had to have been. Germany didn’t get last place.

Israel’s win at 529 points was followed by Eleni Foureira from Cyprus in second place (436 points). Austria (342 points) ranked third, Germany (340 points) came fourth and Italy (308 points) fifth. The other countries in the top ten, in descending order, were the Czech Republic, Sweden, Estonia, Denmark and Moldova.

 

German Of The Day: Kontrolle

That means control, as in the people who check to see if you bought your subway ticket for the U2 line in Berlin. Which apparently these two guys did not do.

U2

Nor did they have a Genehmigung (license) to make Straßenmusik (music on the street – or under it), either.

That’s the problem with this country, people. Nobody respects the rule of law.

The musicians took a special train Wednesday from the Olympic Stadium, near the western end of the U2 line, to the Deutsche Oper stop. Local radio station Radioeins, which gave out tickets for the ride, said about 120 people joined them on the train.

The Turnaround Has Been Achieved

I didn’t think I would be seeing this in my lifetime, folks, but Germany did NOT get last place at the Eurovision song competition last night in Kiev – a century-long Eurovision tradition, as you know.

Deutschland

They came in second to last (thank you, Spain). I can hardly wait for next year’s show!

Ja! Deutschland ist nicht Letzter. Trotz der leichten Verbesserung ist es ein Debakel für die deutsche Delegation, die in unendlicher Arroganz mal wieder alles falsch gemacht hat, was man falsch machen konnte.

Plans Already Well Underway For Next Year’s Last Place Eurovision Showing

For Germany, I mean.

ESC

German producer Stefan Raab has already developed a so-called Vorentscheid or preliminary decision show to let German Eurovision fans experience up close and personal and far in advance just which German act will fall flat on its face in 2017.

A jury of representatives from the German music business has already been selected that will in turn select one unlucky winner to represent the Federal Republic during the international TV song competition as it is systematically shamed, disgraced and humiliated for the third year running at least.

Versteht nur Stefan Raab den ESC?

German Of The Day: Sprengstoffweste

That means explosive vest. You know, the kind your run-of-the-mill German industrial metal pyrotechnical hard rock bands use these days?

Rammstein

Damn. This gives pop culture a whole new meaning.

The German shock-rockers have launched their world tour with a bang, with frontman Til Lindemann donning an explosive vest at a Vienna concert. Rammstein are headlining top festivals from Moscow to Buenos Aires.

“Ich muss zerstören, doch es darf nicht mir gehören.”

What Part Of Last Place Don’t You Understand?

I think I’m beginning to detect a pattern here. Didn’t Germany get last place at the Eurovision freak show last year, too?

Eurovision

And it’s not like the voting is ever politically motivated or anything, you guys. It’s strictly about the music. And that’s what makes this happening so, well, I dunno. Creepy?

But instead of seeing this last place as a badge of honor, it looks as though the Germans have hurt feelings about the results, yet again. So, in the end, I guess everybody wins after all, right?

Um das neue Punktesystem vollends zu begreifen, muss man vermutlich noch mindestens zwei Semester ESC-Wissenschaft studieren.

Bavarian Codebreaker Needed

Not everybody can speak this lingo. I assume it has something to do with the G7 demonstration festivities going on in Elmau, Germany right now but I can’t say for sure.

I am also assuming here that “Yes Mia Spuin” must be in honor of Obama’s visit and can only mean “yes, we can.” The guy with his face all up in the camera has sure got me stumped, however.

Dorf empfängt Obama mit Alphörnern und Weißwurst

Is This That There Nina Who Sang That 99 Red Balloons Song?

I didn’t think so.

Nina Hagen

Another real thing. I mean person. So happy 60th birthday to you, Nina.

Laut, schrill und immer ein wenig zu aufgedreht und ausgeflippt, so kennt man Nina Hagen.

PS: Did Nina Hagen need a quota?

A Sound Panzer?

What will they tank of next?

The Sound Tank (or “Sound Panzer,” as Nowak refers to it in the video) is a reconfigured mini-dump truck that Nowak was able to transform into a colossal mobile soundsystem. Nowak designed the bass-bumping vehicle’s giant speaker wall with a hydraulic system, enabling him to raise it upright and point the 13 loudspeakers and three 18-inch subwoofers at any target.

Someone fired a gun next to Nowak’s ear as a young child, and as a result the artist lost the ability to hear high frequencies with his right ear. “That experience brought home to me the extent to which sound can shape reality,” Nowak muses in the video.

PS: For those interested in old school NSA stuff, there are some good shots of what is left of the old Teufelsberg facility in the video, too.