The biggest party of the year and I missed it, again.
Damn. Some procedure as every year.
Hasselhoff blieb oben nüchtern, die anderen tanzten feucht-fröhlich im Matsch.
PS: Ich wünsch Dir soviel gute Tag im Jahr, wie der Fuchs am Schwanz hat Haar.
Category Archives: Habitudes
Have a good slide!
Or so the Germans say (Guten Rutsch!), for Happy New Year!
That ought to be easy enough this winter. It’s been the coldest December here in Germany since 1969 (before global warming started screwing everything up).
So slide well into the new year–and slide responsibly.
Der Dezember war zugleich überdurchschnittlich feucht. Am Flughafen in Frankfurt fielen insgesamt 59 Zentimeter Neuschnee, so viel wie noch nie seit Beginn der Aufzeichnungen.
Chaos must be well organized, ja?
Germans, being born anarchists (and born Germans), are genetically programmed to be aware of how important it is that the chaotic and deteriorating world in which we live continue to degenerate, but to have it do so in an “orderly chaotic” and therefore German manner.
That is why the Chaos Computer Club, holding its 27th annual Chaos Computer Club Congress in Berlin this week, has expressed Chaos Computer Club Congress Concern Concerning the recent hacking attacks against “Mastercard und Co.” in wake of recent WikiLeaks revelations (the leaks themselves were carried out quite orderly, causing complete chaos, so they were OK).
It appears that these attacks are in fact against something called Chaos Computer Club “hacker ethics” and the interests of those who genuinely strive for a truly transparent society (albeit a deteriorating and chaotic one) and they kindly request that such disorderly chaotic attacks cease immediately, or something.
I tell ya, it’s a dog-eat-dog-hacker-gegen-hacker world out there.
“As the world becomes more chaotic, we can help.”
All together now!
And to all a good night already. Merry Christmas!
“Good European pieties and delirious anti-American phantasms”
It’s all here. Ya gottcha European Film Academy Awards, your European Director, your European Screenwriter, your European Actor, your European Composer, your European Production Designer and even your European Oscar, all right here in Europe. Financed primarily by Germany, of course (where all the shots get called these days), but still. Germany is part of Europe too, you know.
Now all you need is your appropriate inappropriate European Film with your suitably anti-American fantasy exposing that country for the “fundamentalist totalitarian state” it is (as put so diplomatically by European Film Academy Presidente por Life Wim Wenders–he’s a European too, by the way) and the recipe is complete.
So this year’s wiener (or is it weiner or even whiner?) is: Roman Polanski for “Ghost Writer.” It’s the heart-warming story of an Iraq War-related assasination of a CIA-controlled US-Amerikan imperialist Tony Blair robot or puppet dude, take your pick he’s both (I knew I always liked that guy for some reason).
Gee, I wonder who got the Best Foreign Language Film Language European Oscar Award this year? I’m going to go way out on a limb on this one and say German.
German-funded “European” film prize goes to German-funded anti-American film.
Thanks for the link, Joe.
German Technophobia Reaches North Pole
In yet another shocking new disclosure that may or may not have come from WikiLeaks although it’s hard to say for sure, it has been revealed that neither the German Santa Claus, St. Nikolaus, nor his many thousands of merry German post office helpers reply to children’s wish lists sent in the so-called “e-mail” format, insisting instead that “they learn how to do it properly.”
“Obviously we, as the postal service, want children to write letters,” said St. Nikolaus spokesman Freddie von Scrooge. “And besides, once you give in and start letting stuff like “e-mail” through, the next thing you know they’ll be Street Viewing the freakin’ North Pole.”
Santa Doesn’t Do Digital
Global Warming Update (German Edition)
Talk about your Snow Crash.
“Thousands of accidents, autobahns blocked: Winter unleashes traffic chaos.”
Godchild should be Goodchild but actually Badchild
Well sheesh, it’s not the kid’s fault. Tradition is tradition. And wacky is wacky. And wacky tradition is… You get the picture.
Anyways, it’s a German tradition that the German president becomes an honorary godparent to the seventh child born to any family here (this doesn’t happen very often of course so it’s not like he’s ever overworked or anything).
This is all fine and gut, I guess, but unfortunately this latest kid’s family is, well, of the neo-Nazi persuasion.
On the seventh hour, of the seventh day, on the seventh month, the seventh doctor say…
„Unsere biologische Substanz durch Geburtenarmut und Masseneinwanderung von Ausländern gefährdet.“
Germans? More intolerant?
How ya figure? Wow. Talk about your news item. The survey says: Germans view Muslims and their religion (and Jews and theirs) more negatively than their European neighbors–who don’t seem to care much for them either, by the way.
But at least Germans are fair. When it comes to being unfair, I mean. The survey also came up with similar negative results for other religions like Hinduism and Buddhism.
“The representative survey, which polled 1,000 people in each of the four countries mentioned, found that fewer than five percent of Germans thought Islam was a tolerant religion, compared to roughly 20 percent for the Danes, Dutch and French.”
Street View way cool after all
Now that Google’s Street View is up and running in Germany, many of the very Germans so entsetzt (horrified) at the Datenkrake (data octopus) invading their privacy in the first place finally get to see how way cool this service really is and are now horrified that their homes have been pixelated without their permission–although this naked guy down here in his trunk in Mannheim was obviously thrilled with the Street View concept right from the start and wasn’t pixelated one tiny little bit, though he maybe shoulda outta been.
Many of these horrified Germans have now asked to have their pixelated homes unpixelated again ASAP but unfortunately this is now no longer possible, says Google, as one of the conditions for introducing Street View to Germany in the first place, as demanded by Germany’s horrified data security officials, was the immediate destruction of all photographic raw material once the data has been entered into the Street View database.
Lots of German real estate and tourism companies are upset about this unfortunate pixelization process too, by the way.
But hey, you can’t displease all of the people all of the time, I guess.
“In keinem der 26 anderen Street-View-Länder gab es am ersten Tag einen solchen Zulauf wie in Deutschland., gab Google bekannt.”
