Street View way cool after all

Now that Google’s Street View is up and running in Germany, many of the very Germans so entsetzt (horrified) at the Datenkrake (data octopus) invading their privacy in the first place finally get to see how way cool this service really is and are now horrified that their homes have been pixelated without their permission–although this naked guy down here in his trunk in Mannheim was obviously thrilled with the Street View concept right from the start and wasn’t pixelated one tiny little bit, though he maybe shoulda outta been.

Many of these horrified Germans have now asked to have their pixelated homes unpixelated again ASAP but unfortunately this is now no longer possible, says Google, as one of the conditions for introducing Street View to Germany in the first place, as demanded by Germany’s horrified data security officials, was the immediate destruction of all photographic raw material once the data has been entered into the Street View database.

Lots of German real estate and tourism companies are upset about this unfortunate pixelization process too, by the way.

But hey,  you can’t displease all of the people all of the time, I guess.

“In keinem der 26 anderen Street-View-Länder gab es am ersten Tag einen solchen Zulauf wie in Deutschland., gab Google bekannt.”

Gottcha!

Just kidding about that being a bomb yesterday, folks. Just testing, I mean.

Wasn’t that hysterical? And here you thought American companies couldn’t export any cool stuff anymore.

And today’s Fehlalarm (false alarm)? A suspicious object that wasn’t a bomb this time either caused an ICE train to be evacuated at Düsseldorf Hauptbahnhof (sorry, the linking is acting up a bit at the moment: http://www.stern.de/politik/deutschland/terrorgefahr-in-deutschland-fehlalarm-im-ice-attrappe-in-namibia-1625680.html)

“BKA officials have examined it and the result is that it is a so-called ‘real test suitcase’ from a U.S. company. This company produces alarm and detection systems and these test suitcases are made to test security measures.”

That didn’t take long

Or as Stern puts it: How Concern Turns to Hysteria.

The Namibian Connection?

“Nothing is clear for now. It has not been determined if the package was bound for Germany, nor even if it contains a functional explosive device. It is also questionable if the package was about to be loaded onboard or not. The proper headline should read ‘suspicious piece of baggage discovered that might have possibly been destined for Germany.'”

“Namibia steht nicht auf der Terrorismus-Landkarte.”

“There are grounds for concern but not for hysteria”

So you know what that means, don’t you? OH MY GOD WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

Funny how things clear up with time, don’t they? Just a few weeks ago warnings from “foreign partners” like this were “alarmist” and “abstract.”

Now security measures are being stepped up in Germany after Interior Minister Thomas de Maiziere said there were “clear indications” of a terror plot targeting Germany.

I don’t get it. I thought all this talk about international terrorism was nothing but Panikmache (fear mongering) all these years, Germany? Like take a chill pill already.

“Nach dem Hinweis eines ausländischen Partners Deutschlands solle Ende November ein mutmaßliches Anschlagsvorhaben umgesetzt werden.”

Germany to blacklist own airports

After pannicked German demands that the EU draw up a blacklist of unsafe foreign freight dispatchers and airports to help improve air cargo security following the recent bomb plots originating in Yemen and Greece, Germans everywhere were relieved to learn that many of their own airports would most likely be placed near the top of the list.

One of the said explosive devices recently passed undetected through a transfer point at Cologne-Bonn Airport and was later discovered at East Midlands Airport in the UK.

“National measures are not very effective,” said Thomas de Maiziere, Germany’s interior minister. “Well, at least ours aren’t. Please, somebody out there help us close these high risk puppies down ASAP!”

“Last month, the United States and Britain advised caution to travelers visiting Germany and France and intelligence sources spoke of plots against European cities involving al Qaeda and allied militants, some of them European citizens or residents. But de Maiziere then said he saw no immediate signs of a threat, talking instead of a general abstract danger.”

Mardi Gras is a little early this year

The Jecken (carnival revelers) are out en masse in Gorleben again.

Much like the famous Karneval celebrations in Cologne and other German cities held in February, the jolly and popular annual German Gorleben Riot Ritual, held in November, is an ancient Teutonic tradition (going back some 33 years now) in which large numbers of Green and mean-spirited anarchists protest against nuclear energy in general and the still quite vague government plans for nuclear waste disposal in particular at a charming little hole-in-the-wall interim storage facility located in a quaint little piece of Zauberwald (magic forest) in which all participants reach their collective climax simultaneously once the transport of “Castor” dry cask containers by rail through northern France and Germany, well, reaches its climax too–and everything gets Molotov cocktailed big time.

“Karneval? Sich albern verkleiden, laut rumgrölen und anderen auf den Sack gehen.” 

It’s OK when Germany goes alarmist, I guess

As expected, now that stuff is happening HERE, the Germans start getting all nervous and fidgety and s#*!t and suddenly want the EU to agree to tighter air freight security and are basically hyperventilating all over the place, which is fine with me (it’s about time). The alarmists.

Although Europeans certainly do have enough to hyperventilate about these days. When it comes to planes, I mean.

“Undecided”

Don’t be misled by that American mainstream media or whatever else you may have seen or heard.

Germany’s FOCUS Online will clear it for you: Yesterday’s US-Amerikan election was “undecided” and everything’s still OK in Obamaland, honest.

And here you thought denial was a river in Egypt.

“Seine Partei erzielte bei den Kongresswahlen die größten Zugewinne seit mehr als 70 Jahren.”

Still abstract?

The terror danger in Germany, I mean? It was a few weeks ago, and warnings about it where dismissed as being “alarmist.”

Now a suspicious package turned up at German Chancellor Angela Merkel’s office, just a few hours after small mail bombs exploded outside the Russian and Swiss embassies in Athens. Honestly, isn’t it alarming how all packages are turning out to be suspicious these days?

Of course we do have to remember that these particular attacks are being blamed on far-left extremists and are therefore, technically speaking, not really terror attacks at all. Not here anyway.

“No link has been made with the recently discovered Yemen-based mail bomb plot, which used much more powerful devices.”

Natural factors?

Yeah, sure. This kind of thing happens here in Germany all the time. Talk about your Loch (hole) Ness Monster.

Authorities in a place called Schmalkalden (itself a bit of hole, I guess) say that this big honking 98-foot-deep-mega-crater that just caved in out of nowhere today and ate somebody’s car and who the hell knows what else was caused by natural factors rather than bad industrial things like mining or whatever so don’t worry because it’s a “bio-hole” or something and therefore good for you so everything’s OK people and just keep on moving along (in big, concentric circles), nothing to see here.

“Luther said residents were lucky not to have been hurt.”