Category Archives: Hysteria

“Auch Deutschland in Gefahr?”

October 31, 2010 By in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

 Germany in danger too? How ya figure?

Wasn’t this the same German Interior Minister who claimed that warnings about possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks in Germany were “alarmist” just a few weeks back?

Now he’s all alarmed himself and has cancelled a planned trip to Israel in order to address the alarming news that the package bombs from Yemen destined for New York were transferred in Cologne and nobody like, uh, was alarmed. Or even noticed.

I guess the main reason they’re all pissed off about not having known that they were dealing with bombs bound for the United States is that they couldn’t take the proper precautionary measures. Before going ahead and transfering them to flights bound for the United States, I mean. Ordnung muss sein (order is necessary).

„Wir nehmen den Vorgang ernst, auch wenn Deutschland wohl nicht Anschlagsziel war.“

German Bigfoot sighted

October 20, 2010 By in Hustle (Hoax), Hysteria Tags: , , , , , 1 Comment

Sort of.

A big black panther-like cat creature–let’s call it Pussyfoot–has been sited several times near Trier recently, leading local officials, among them Mayor Larry Vaughn, desperate not to lose the money that will be brought in by 4th of July tourists, to insist that Chief Brody tell everyone that the girl’s death was actually caused by a motorboat accident and not a Pussyfoot attack, because the thought of a killer black panther in Triers’s forests would drive tourists and who knows who else away for good.

A majority of scientists however, myself included, discount the existence of Pussyfoot, considering it to be a combination of folklore, misidentification and hoax-type stuff instead.
.
„Wir prüfen gerade, ob und wie wir das Tier finden können.”

Is this green enough for you?

October 17, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

“The development of renewable energy in Germany was important and correct, but everything has a price. Every consumer should know that.”

And very soon they will. Electricity users in Germany will face up to a 70 percent increase in 2011 in the eco-surcharge they pay for the extra costs of renewable energy.

It could be worse, though–and probably soon will be. The German Energy Agency (Dena) fears that a too rapid expansion of solar energy will lead to an energy grid collapse. Hey, no risk no fun.

„Die Netze stehen vor der Überlastung durch Sonnenstrom.“

Only in Germany

October 6, 2010 By in Habeas Corpus, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 4 Comments

Possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks? Who cares? Germans have more important things to get hysterical about: A train station project.

That’s right. But this isn’t just any train station project we’re talking about here, folks. This is the now imfamous “Stutttgart 21” train station project, whatever the hell that means.

I don’t understand this, as usual. And the more I read about it the more I see how I won’t be able to. As far as I can tell, it’s a new station that’s part of a long planned high-speed rail project that would connect Stuttgart to nearby Ulm as part of a major European transportation infrastructure project “that would eventually see a high-speed link running between Paris and Bratislava, Slovakia.”

So far so good. But then “das Volk” in Stuttgart went ape about something. I still don’t really know what it was, other than maybe it’s about having to cut down a few trees to build this thing, but now it’s devolved into out and out Revolutionary Romanticism (German style), complete with heroic demonstrations of resistance and real live police brutality (only after the demonstrators provoked them, of course).

Building a freakin’ train station becomes a Politikum (big political issue) here, in other words. But that won’t really surprise anyone who has spent any time in Germany. This kind of stuff happens here all the time. It’s easy to be part of the German Resistance Movement This Week when what you’re resisting is as, well, about as harmless as it gets. It’s so pitiful it’s not even funny. It’s hilarious.

Disinformation in da nation

October 4, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 4 Comments

Let me repeat: No threat here. Not in Germany. It can’t happen here. It’s verboten or something. You would have to get an official Genehmigung (authorization) first and you know how long it takes to get one of those. So stop hyperventilating and relax already.

Forget reports about possible Al Qaeda terrorist attacks planned (being planned?) for Berlin’s Central Station, the TV Tower or Hotel Adlon. That’s all a bunch of American alarmist nonsense, honest (we’re talking about a FoxNews report here, after all). Sure there are “internal measures” being undertaken here in Germany right now anyway (whatever that means), just in case, but what’s that got to do with anything?

So move along and go quietly about your business (are your eyelids getting heavy yet?) and listen to what the Onkel (uncle) Interior Minister tells you.

„Für Alarmismus besteht, jedenfalls zur Zeit, kein Anlass.“

Greenpeace stages atomic art happening

September 28, 2010 By in High Art, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

Approving stuff in Germany is always problematic. Disapproval is almost always vorprogrammiert (preprogrammed). That’s why when the German government made clear its intention to extend the country’s use of nuclear power, everybody adhering to the ideological requirements of korrekt German Green thinking disapproved–and that’s a whole lot of folks too.

But at least the Greens at Greenpeace got a little creative about it this time (or as usual?). Protesters projected images with the slogan “atomic power damages Germany” onto the side of several of the country’s nuclear reactors. As far as I can tell, their reason for doing this was to explain to everybody that atomic power damages Germany. Not that they didn’t already know this, the main thing was that this was an Aktion. You know, one of those “happening” thingies?

And I don’t do art so I had to look it up: “A happening is a performance, event or situation meant to be considered as an art, usually as performance art. Happenings take place anywhere (from basements to studio lofts and even street alleyways), are often multi-disciplinary, with a nonlinear narrative and the active participation of the audience.”

Multi-disciplinary? Does that mean they’re gonna get in trouble for doing dis? Nah.

Die Atomkraftwerke in Deutschland sollen im Schnitt 12 Jahre länger am Netz bleiben als nach dem bisherigen Atomkonsens.

“Green Politician Survives Pie Attack Unscathed”

September 23, 2010 By in Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 3 Comments

I don’t make this stuff up, people. This title was the real thing and wasn’t meant as a joke.

The attack had something to do with “professional revolutionary” anti-nuke protestors or something. They were apparently pissed off that the anti-nuke Greens aren’t anti-nuke enough. So Green boss Jürgen Trittin got nuked with an anti-pie (from somebody’s auntie?) during a podium discussion. You know, the kind of podium discussions Jerry Springer used to have?

This particular discussion was entitled “Ideals and Realpolitik” so now we have the rest of the story. Geez, how could pies not have been thrown there?

Trittin’s not going to press chages, though. I guess the incident was too pienlich (embarassing) for him.

„Das intellektuelle Niveau dieser Argumentation eines Menschen, der sich selbst als Berufsrevolutionärin bezeichnet, ist beleidigend für jeden intelligenten Revolutionär. Nebenbei bemerkt ist Poddig wahrscheinlich die erste Berufsrevolutionärin, die nichts dabei findet, auf einer Veranstaltung aufzutreten, die mit staatlichen Geldern finanziert wird.“

Germans at 87%

September 16, 2010 By in Habitudes, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

My, this really is significant. The Germans have finally come down from the mid to high 90s (no, not the temperature – or not precisely, anyway). I mean the Obama Worship Index or whatever the hell you call it. The rest of Europe brings the average down a bit lower to 78%, but still.

Wow. Who would have ever thought that? Finally, a real news item. The survey says: “Obama far more popular in Europe than America.” I had no idea. Uh, been there, done that, haven’t we?

And of course there are bound to be reasons for why this is so back home, but nobody over here would be particularly interested in those reasons because, well, “Obama far more popular in Europe than America.” And the bad stuff can still be attributed to Bush anyway, right? I don’t believe that there’s a statute of limitations on that one.

Obama’s approval rating stands at an enviable 78% among them, compared to a more mediocre 52% among the US public.

SPD: If we throw him out then this will solve Germany’s integration problems

September 14, 2010 By in Helplessness, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

This is quite a bold and particularly stupid move on the part of the SPD, but hey, somebody over there has got to do it, I guess.

Normally more than ready, willing and able to follow the slightest whims and moods of potential voters (this being one of the main reasons so many of their voters have abandoned them and put them in the unspeakably bad position they are in), the Brain Police wing of the SPD lack-of-leadership will now go ahead and expel their all too outspoken commrade Thilo Sarazzin for expressing controvsial views about Germany’s Muslim immigrant community that a large majority of the German population shares (I happen to believe that this majority is actually much larger than most Germans think or will admit to, by the way, but maybe that’s just me).

Das ist gut so (and that’s a good thing too) because the SPD was actually showing signs of life as of late and even getting cocky and picking up in the polls in recent weeks (there’s nowhere to go but up when you’re on the bottom) but now they’ve gotten tired of patting themselves on their collective back(s), so there we have it. It’s time to head back down to the Keller again and rest their collective arm(s) a bit or something.

“Wir können in der SPD nicht alles dulden.”

Get your latest angst here!

September 9, 2010 By in Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 1 Comment

Oh boy, another German angst study just came out. But nobody is brave enough to read it yet so I’ll have to give you a quick summary instead.

There is a certain logic to these studies, by the way. There always is, although it may not seem all that logical to you or to me.

For instance, after having patted themselves on the back over the past few weeks about how great the German economy is doing, it only stands to reason (here) that the latest number one German angst has to do with just that; the economy. Some 67 percent of Germans asked are shaking in their boots about it – and worry about the climbing cost of living at the same time. A mere 61 percent of those asked worry about becoming unemployed.

But it’s only going to get more frightening, folks. A group of economic experts has just revised their growth prediction for the Germany economy this year upwards fron 2.1 to 3.4 percent. Boo!

Wie andere Experten haben die Kieler ihre Schätzung für 2010 deutlich erhöht. Bisher hatten sie für 2010 nur 2,1 Prozent Wachstum veranschlagt, nun erwarten sie ein Plus von 3,4 Prozent.