Germany’s National Cloud Sovereignty Will Now Be Achieved

By hiring Google. You know. To make Germany more sovereign and not so dependent on companies like Google?

Germany has, along with France, been a driving force behind Europe’s quest for cloud “sovereignty.” When the countries announced plans for a European cloud network called Gaia-X a couple of years back, the idea was for European enterprises not to have to rely on foreign providers for the foundations of their online services and internal data-wrangling.

Now Germany is getting a “sovereign cloud” that will target sectors such as automotive and health care, along with the public sector, when it launches next year. It will be run by T-Systems, the Deutsche Telekom–owned systems integrator that is one of Gaia-X’s founding members, in partnership with the distinctly non-European cloud giant that is Google.

It’s Called Paranoia

Why is Germany a blank spot on Google’s Street View? See above.

Paranoia

There are good historical reasons why Germans are suspicious of surveillance — but is Google as bad as Gestapo or Stasi?

It’s to do with Germans’ curious sense of privacy: they’d rather flaunt their private parts than their personal data…

While public nudity is a big no-no in the United States for example, Germany has a long tradition with what is known as FKK – short for Freikörperkultur, or “Free Body Culture.” Certain beaches and areas of city parks are dedicated to nude sunbathing, and even Nacktwanderung (“nude rambling”) is a thing.

On the other hand, Germans are extremely possessive of their personal data — and are shocked by the readiness with which Americans (and others) share their names, addresses, friends’ lists, and purchase histories online.

According to research presented in the Harvard Business Review, the average German is willing to pay as much as $184 to protect their personal health data. For the average Brit, the privacy of that information is only worth $59. For Americans and Chinese, that value declines to single-digit figures.

Berlin Is The Place

The place where you don’t want thriving companies offering gainful employment and increasing property value in your neighborhood.

Gentrification

I get it. It’s about gentrification again. But the problem here isn’t the evil capitalist rich swooping in to speculate and force the poor out of their neighborhoods. The problem is a classic case of “I’m from the government and I’m here to help.” The German government in general and the Berlin government in particular have been “helping” German renters for decades in ways that have discouraged Germans from owning property of their own (the vast majority of Berliners pay rent). Then when reality finally strikes (supply and demand = rising rents) the same politicians can’t help these renters anymore and leave them high and dry with rents they can no longer afford to pay. Ain’t nothing new.

Kreuzberg has long been one of the most affordable areas of Berlin, making it a haven for students, immigrants, artists and activists, a hub of culture, night life and left-wing politics. But in a pattern repeated in similar neighborhoods in many of the world’s wealthiest cities, affluent people have moved in, too, in recent years, bringing with them the social tensions of gentrification.

“They push out the people who were here before.”

One Million Dollars!

No, wait a second. I mean… Five billion dollars!

One million dollars

The European Union hit Alphabet Inc.’s Google with a record antitrust fine of €4.34 billion ($5.06 billion) and ordered changes to its business that could loosen the company’s grip on its biggest growth engine: mobile phones.

In the EU’s sharpest rebuke yet to the power of a handful of tech giants, the bloc’s antitrust regulator found Wednesday that Google had abused the dominance of its Android operating system, which runs more than 80% of the world’s smartphones, to promote and entrench its own mobile apps and services, particularly the company’s search engine…

As part of the decision, the EU ordered Google to cease requirements that push phone makers to pre-install Google’s web browser Chrome, make Google the default search engine on their phones, and offer payments for exclusively pre-installing Search.

“Today’s decision rejects the business model that supports Android, which has created more choice for everyone, not less.”

Germans Concerned That Google Will Now Become Even More Evil Than It Already Is

Now that “Don’t Be Evil” has been removed from their code of conduct thingy. And I don’t blame them, either. Just look at that Doctor Evil-looking evil character down there.

Evil

Sheesh. I’m going to switch to a German search engine. What do you mean there’s no such thing? Like, how lack of evil is that? And lame.

NERD RAGE Google removes legendary ‘Don’t Be Evil’ motto from code of conduct – should we be worried?

“Sei nicht böse” – und alles wird gut. Das inoffizielle Google-Motto “Don’t Be Evil” war das Beruhigungsmittel für alle Dystopie-Phobiker, die eine zukünftige Allmacht des Mega-Konzerns fürchten.

Google To Help German Solar Power Fans Find Areas In Germany With More Than Five Minutes Of Sunshine Per Day

Or per week. Per month? Anyway, they’re helping as best as they can.

Solar

Google’s Project Sunroof, which estimates whether homes get enough sunlight to switch over to solar power, is launching in Germany today. It’s the first time Sunroof has expanded outside the US, where it finally reached all 50 states earlier this year after launching in 2015.

Wer überlegt, auf einem Hausdach eine Solaranlage zu installieren, wüsste gerne, wie hoch die damit erzielten Einnahmen sein können. Auf einer von Google und E.ON eingerichteten Seite lassen sich die nun vorab abschätzen.

German Moon Mission A Hoax

A German Lunar X-Prize team’s announcement that it plans to send two mobile probes to the Moon to inspect the lunar rover left behind by the Apollo 17 mission has been exposed as a hoax because everybody knows that these Apollo moon landings never took place in the first place.

Hoax

The team hopes to land its probes about 2 to 3 miles (3 to 5 km) from the touch down site of Apollo 17 in the Taurus-Littrow valley. From there, the vehicles will drive to within 200 meters (656 feet) of the Apollo rover and inspect it remotely…

The Google Lunar X-Prize requires its competitors to land their probes on the Moon in 2017, which gives us something to look forward to next year. Once the probe sends back its high-definition pictures of the lunar rover, you can happily show them to your annoying Moon Truther friends.

Hate Speech To Be Gone Within 24 Hours, Dumb Speech Remains Untouched

In an international move of solidarity to promote goodness and niceness the world over for the betterment of the entire human race itself,  the nations of Germany, Facebook Google and Twitter have agreed to end hate speech from their websites in our time or at least within 24 hours of its issue.

Facebook

“This cuts right to the root of the whole hate thing,” a spokesman for the nation of Germany stressed. “As we have all learned through our years of experience in enforcing political correctness, merely using the proper terminology or “newspeak” is enough to alleviate the actual causes behind this improper way of thinking, I mean speaking. It’s like magic.”

Another spokesman assured the public that only hate speech will be targeted here and that all that other kinds of dumb, inane and annoying speech, the vast majority of speech that’s out there, will remain untouched.

“Wir dürfen den geistigen Brandstiftern nicht das Feld überlassen – weder auf der Straße noch im Netz.”

To Boldly Go Where No Syrian Refugee Has Gone Before

To boldly go and find your way around “official” Berlin, for instance.

Arriving in Berlin

European refugee crisis: Berlin group create digital map of resources for new arrivals.

More power to you. The Lord helps those who help themselves, I say.

The map, “Arriving in Berlin,” which is available in English, Farsi and Arabic, shows over 250 different services, including experts in residence and asylum law, German language classes, public libraries and doctors who speak Arabic or Farsi.

It’s Not Easy Being Optimist-In-Chief

When it comes to dealing with Europe, I mean. Optimism is suspekt (makes suspicious) here. There is always an angle to everything, you see.

Larry Page

For him (Larry Page), the real danger is opposing technological progress and greater efficiency. Such dangers lurk particularly in the Old World: “Especially in Europe, it appears easy to ignore the fundamental physics of a question in order to claim everything is just fine when things here cost twice as much as elsewhere. This attitude worries me greatly, because it hinders the work of entrepreneurs.”

But should not a society also have the right to say “No” to a superior technology? Certainly, agrees Mr. Page. But that’s not particularly clever. “If you make everything twice as expensive, you reduce people’s quality of life.” And do you really want to keep local entrepreneurs from making their contribution to the global economy? Naturally it’s great when citizens have the feeling they can decide. “I’m merely saying that when they make decisions contrary to a global system of capital, then they have to do that consciously and seriously. And I don’t believe anyone is doing that.”

“If I were a young entrepreneur today and I had the choice of starting my Internet firm in Germany or Silicon Valley, it wouldn’t be a hard choice. And regulation will only get worse in Europe. It will be very hard to build a company of global import there.”

Gerade die Europäer neigen in den Augen von Larry Page offenbar zu falscher Nostalgie. “In Europa scheint es leicht, die grundlegende Physik einer Frage zu ignorieren und zu behaupten, es ist schon in Ordnung, wenn Dinge hier doppelt so viel kosten wie anderswo”.