I Can’t Stand It

I know you planned it!

CDU

Conspiracy theory of the week: The CDU sabotaged Friedrich Merz’s chances for winning the election for party chairman against Mini-Merkel on Friday by turning down his microphone during his speech. I believe it. Of course, I also believe that interdimensional shapeshifting lizards are calling all the shots here on Planet Earth from a secret bunker complex somewhere under the polar ice cap, thus causing the ice there to melt. But still.

Wirre Gerüchte: Falsches Spiel mit Merz? CDU soll sein Mikro absichtlich gedimmt haben.

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The Wrath Of Khan

Only this Khan’s name is Wolfgang.

Khan

Maybe this Friedrich Merz has a chance of becoming head of the Christian Democrats (CDU) this Friday after all. Wolfgang Schäuble, the seventy-six-year-old CDU Urgestein (bedrock) who should have/would have been chancellor, is supporting Merz wholeheartedly. He is doing this out of conviction, of course, but he also has an ax to grind with Empress Merkel Herself (who wants Mini-Merkel to take over for her – and can’t stand Merz). Like Helmut Kohl before her, her rise to power came with a major political setback for Schäuble. Now it’s payback time. Better late than never.

“Of course! We are one big, happy fleet! Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?”

Weil er Kanzler nicht werden konnte, will er jetzt, am Ende eines schier unglaublichen Berufslebens, wenigstens Kanzlermacher sein. Er nutzt, 76-jährig, seine wohl letzte Gelegenheit, auf die Geschichte der CDU und der Bundesrepublik entscheidenden Einfluss zu nehmen – und damit zugleich für die politische Zurücksetzung, die er erst von Kohl und dann von Merkel erfahren hat, Genugtuung zu finden.

Conservative, Male, Wealthy?

What has this guy been smoking? How could anybody with credentials like that ever hope to become the chairman of Germany’s conservative party?

Merz

Conservatives don’t exist in this country. It’s against the law or something. And if they did, they would have to be liberal, female and have a very modest income. Germans also have a big Neid (envy) problem, you see.

German businessman Friedrich Merz, who is running to replace Chancellor Angela Merkel as leader of the Christian Democratic (CDU) party, disclosed for the first time that he earns about one million euros (S$1.57 million) a year, Bild am Sonntag newspaper reported on Sunday (Nov 18).

Merz verrät sein gigantisches Einkommen, zählt sich aber nicht zur Oberschicht.

SPD Ready To Abolish The One Reform They Accidentally Did Right

It took them fifteen years to sink this low but better late than never, I guess.

Nahles

The SPD, clutching for any straw it can still find before going under completely, is now prepared to do away with the infamous Hartz IV reform introduced by the SPD-lead government under Gerhard Schroeder in 2003. Never popular because it made major demands upon the unemployed, it nevertheless brought a considerable reduction in short- and long-term unemployment and contributed to making Germany the employment powerhouse it is in Europe today. Back to the future. As in living in the past.

AUSGERECHNET IHR GRÖSSTES ERFOLGSPROJEKT – SPD will Hartz IV abschaffen!

Merkel’s Hand-Picked Successor To Introduce A New Era For The CDU?

Uh, OK. Boy, and it looks like she can hardly wait to start, too.

New era

She ought to adopt Merkel’s name while she’s at it, too. Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer is a real tongue-twister (say that ten times really fast).

Germany’s conservative Christian Democrats (CDU) must build on Chancellor Angela Merkel’s legacy but move on from her era, Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, who is running to be CDU leader, said on Wednesday.

“This is the end of the era,” Kramp-Karrenbauer, presenting her candidacy for the CDU leadership, said of Merkel’s time as party leader.

Uh, no it’s not. Not with you it isn’t. Some call her Mini-Merkel.

Kandidatin Kramp-Karrenbauer – Für eine “neue Ära” der CDU.

Germany Idealistic, Naive And Leftist?

How ya figure?

Maassen

“I’m seen in Germany as a critic of idealistic, naive and leftist foreign and security policy,” the fired head of German domestic intelligence said on his way out. He just got put out to pasture. Early. Thought criminals pay heed.

Dismissed when he questioned the authenticity of videos showing far-right extremists chasing immigrants in the eastern city of Chemnitz, Maassen became the lightening rod of German self-righteous rage.

This time Maassen, whose agency monitors extremist threats to Germany’s constitutional order, compared the videos to Russian propaganda and presented himself as the victim of a witch-hunt by “radical-left forces” in the Social Democratic Party (SPD), junior partner in Merkel’s coalition.

“I can imagine a life outside public service, for example in politics or business.”

This Guy Doesn’t Have A Chance

Of replacing Angela Merkel as the chairman of the conservative CDU, I mean.

Merz

1) Because Merkel doesn’t like him and forced him out of politics ten years ago, 2) he’s pro-business (and that’s a bad thing to be in German politics) and 3) he represents the conservative wing of a conservative party that stopped being conservative long ago. What’s the difference between the CDU and the SPD – or the Greens, for that matter?

I sure do wish this guy a lot of luck, though.

A former rival of Chancellor Angela Merkel who seeks to replace her at the helm of Germany’s conservative party said Wednesday he would aim to renew the party and establish close ties with Western democracies but wouldn’t push for a radical overturn of current policies.

Friedrich Merz, a corporate lawyer and former parliamentary floor leader of Ms. Merkel’s conservatives, said he could get along with the chancellor despite previous clashes that led to his gradual exit from politics nearly 10 years ago. A good working relationship with the chancellor would be crucial to ensure party backing for the ruling coalition’s political agenda.

“We need an awakening and renewal but not an overturn.”

German Of The Day: Vorsitz

That means chair (of a company). Or chairman. Or chairwoman in this case.

Vorsitz

And chairwoman of the CDU is what Angela Merkel now no longer wants to be.

Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany on Monday took her first concrete steps to move away from political life, saying she would give up leadership of her conservative party while vowing to finish out her term as chancellor until 2021.

Ms. Merkel made her announcement, in a meeting of conservative leaders, after two disastrous results in regional elections that saw her party and its allies slump to near-record lows.

“Zeit, ein neues Kapitel aufzuschlagen.”

The Two-Party Is Over?

And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of folks. Or Volk, if you prefer.

SPD

The German Social Democrats’ (SPD) existential crisis can no longer be treated as a typical party crisis. The party captured a mere 9.7% of the vote in regional elections in Bavaria this month, and it is trailing both the populist Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) and the Greens in national opinion polls. With another important regional election fast approaching in Hesse, polls indicate that the SPD will lose still more support, albeit not as dramatically as in Bavaria…

Most likely, the fall of the CDU/CSU-SPD duopoly will undermine German hegemony in Europe, even if no other country can replace Germany in that role. At the same time, the weakening of the SPD will diminish the socialist faction in the European Parliament, where a similar eclipse of two-party rule could be in the offing. Yet without the twin pillars of the European People’s Party and the Party of European Socialists, the parliament will be incapable of making even insignificant decisions. As Germany and the SPD go, so goes Europe.

This Wine Did Not Age Well

Old photos of an AfD representative posing on a bar with “Hitler wine” in the background have surfaced and the AfD is outraged.

Wine

The thing that disgusts them the most is that her photos were found on Myspace. There will be consequences.

Vor Jahren hat sich Jessica Bießmann in einer Küche fotografieren lassen. Im Hintergrund zu sehen: Ein Regal voller Weinflaschen mit verbotenen Motiven. Es sind Etiketten mit Bildern von Adolf Hitler, darunter steht “Sieg Heil” und “Führerwein”. Auch am Dienstag finden sich die umstrittenen Fotos noch auf der privaten Myspace-Seite der Politikerin. Die Berliner AfD erwägt nun Konsequenzen.

„Ich bedaure, dass es diese Fotos gibt.”