A Communist Kangaroo?

This can only be a German production. Or a Berlin one, I should say.

Kangaroo

The Kangaroo Chronicles, a quartet of comic novels by slam poet Marc-Uwe Kling that has sold millions of copies in Germany over the last 10 years, is a classic man-meets-beast buddy story in the vein of Seth MacFarlane’s 2012 comedy Ted – only that its animal protagonist is mainly vulgar in the Marxist rather than the foul-mouthed sense…

His only liability, in terms of electoral optics, could be a fatal addiction to booze-filled pralines – and the marsupial pouch in which he keeps his copy of Mao’s red book…

The film, directed by Swiss filmmaker Dani Levy, shows the communist marsupial team up with Berlin locals against Jörg Dwigs, a Trump-style property tycoon and founder of the fictional AzD (“Alternative to democracy”) party: a classic “the people v the elite” narrative, which the German far left has found more difficult to adopt than its counterparts in Britain, America or Southern Europe.

German Of The Day: Reiche Erschießen

That means “shoot the rich.”

Nothing new, of course. But it is kind of odd that we are hearing this suggestion TODAY and that it’s coming from a member of a “harmless” political party German voters routinely turn a blind eye to – a blind left eye, by the way: The Left Party. You know, the successor party of the East German Communist SED? It is currently forming state governments all over the Mystical German East as we speak, by the way.

“The energy turnaround is also necessary after a revolution. And even after we’ve shot that one percent of the rich it will still be the case that we will need to heat our homes, that we will need a means of transportation.”

“Energiewende ist auch nötig nach einer Revolution. Und auch wenn wir das eine Prozent der Reichen erschossen haben, ist es immer noch so, dass wir heizen wollen, wir wollen uns fortbewegen.”

The Mini-MErkel Mess

Is finally over.

The Germans say lieber ein Ende mit Schrecken als ein Schrecken ohne Ende. That is, better an end with horror than a horror without end.

Merkel Succession Crumbles, Blowing Open Race to Run Germany – The race to lead Germany was thrown wide open on Monday when Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer announced that she will step down as leader of Angela Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union and won’t run as the party’s candidate for chancellor in the next election.

Kramp-Karrenbauer, widely known by her initials AKK, has struggled to stamp her authority on the party since taking over from Merkel in December 2018 and was humiliated last week when a local chapter in eastern Germany defied her orders and threw its lot in with the far-right Alternative for Germany.

Kramp-Karrenbauer ist an sich selbst gescheitert.

Hysteria Time

It’s just what the doctor ordered for the morally outraged. More moral outrage. The Nazis are coming back to Germany again or something. And again and again and again. Yawn.

FDP

Thomas Kemmerich, a liberal democrat from the FDP, became Thuringia’s new Minister-President on Wednesday (5 February), thanks to support from the Christian Democrats (CDU) and the far-right AfD– a first in post-war Germany.

So?

The real issue is a sour grapes kind of thang… In the final round of voting, Kemmerich surprisingly edged out the incumbent Bodo Ramelow, from the leftist Die Linke party, who was planning to build a minority coalition with the Greens and the social democratic SPD.

The AfD didn’t so much vote the FDP guy in – a party that will have nothing to do with them, by the way – as vote the red-redder-green folks out. Now that’s outrageous. Scheiße happens, folks.

More outrage here: “A candidate from the democratic center has won!”

What Does SPD Stand For?

Other than Social Democrat Party, I mean. Shekels, Payola and Dough?

SPD

Or is it more like Scratch, Plunder and Dinero?

When not fighting for the rights of the working class and alleviating the capitalist economic oppression of the masses, ex-vice chancellor and national chairmen of Germany’s Social Democrat Party Sigmar Gabriel enjoys doing part-time community service work serving on the supervisory board of the freakin’ Deutsche Bank.

It’s understandable. Sort of. He recognized there was a problem with Deutsche Bank years ago (he wasn’t the first, however) and now only wants to take this opportunity to help them clean things up.

“Deutsche Bank, as one of the most important financial institutions in Europe, has the opportunity and the responsibility to help shape the future of the German and European economy. I want to play a part in this.”

It’s Immigrants Like You That Give Immigrants Like You A Bad Name

In Germany.

Immigrants

Immigrants Are Big Fans of Germany’s Anti-Immigrant Party – The fiercest devotees of the far-right AfD aren’t native Germans but migrants from Russia.

AfD is generally seen as a xenophobic, nativist force in German politics, and yet one of its key constituencies is foreign-born. The party claims that one-third of its voters are Russian Germans, and a recent study has shown that although this figure is probably exaggerated, support for the party among Russian Germans is above the national average. While AfD has a reputation for anti-Semitism, its voters also include a small but growing number of Russian Jews.

“We had huge problems entering the country. And other people have it really easy. They are simply waved through.”

More Down, Down, Down, Down, Down

Just when you thought Germany’s SPD couldn’t sink any further…

SPD

The Genossen (comrades) figure out a way to do it. I never really believed that the Volkspartei (people’s party with a broad base) SPD could ever actually disappear into the sunset forever but now I’m just not so sure anymore.

Germany’s SPD slip in polls after choosing new leftist leaders – Support for Germany’s Social Democrats (SPD) has fallen after members last week chose as leaders a leftist duo who are skeptical about remaining in government with Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives, a poll showed on Saturday.

A Forsa poll put the SPD on 11%, 3 points down from a week ago and hitting a low last seen in June after previous leader Andrea Nahles quit due following the party’s worst-ever result in elections to the European Parliament.

You know the lyrics, folks. I’m going down. Down, down, down, down, down.

 

Dull And Duller

Or: Non-Party Elects Nonentities To Non-Lead Them.

Dull

Does anybody out there remember the uncola? Doesn’t matter. I’m sure you get the idea. Germany’s SPD (Social Democratic Party) has just made the leap to unparty status. Or non-party, if you prefer. I do. Nobody can figure this out. These two came out of nowhere because that’s where they belong. How can I put it? They are sheep in sheep’s clothing. Dull? These two are so dull that either one of them, on his or her own, could make the perfect chairman of the bored. But two of them together? Like, at the same time? It’s just too much to take.

Two strong leftist critics of the coalition with Chancellor Angela Merkel’s conservatives – Norbert Walter-Borjans and Saskia Esken – won a vote for leadership of the Social Democrats on Saturday, possibly putting the country, Europe’s largest economy, at a political crossroads.

Their ascendancy raises the chances of an early election or a minority government if the SPD leaves the coalition, which could trigger political instability at a time when the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) has become the country’s third-largest party.

“I think it is good that the SPD has made a decision.” Loud yawn. “It paves the way to return to business. For the CDU it is quite clear: we stand by this coalition. We stand by this coalition on the basis that has been negotiated.”

Angela Merkel Must Go

I couldn’t agree more. Enough Merkeldämmerung already (Twilight of the Merkel – as in of the Gods).

Merkel

But who is strong enough going to push her out the door? And who would want to? She’s the Blob, so don’t touch her. And she’s even cloned herself.

For 10 of the last 14 years, Merkel has presided over grand coalition governments, bringing together the centre-right Christian Democrats and the centre-left Social Democrats. This has given continuous stable government, but at a cost. Consensual centrism has not encouraged the robust political debate essential to a liberal democracy. Conservative Germans have long complained that “we have two social democratic parties”. This is a perfectly competent government for undemanding times, but with none of the ambition needed to face the giant challenges of today.

German Of The Day: Putsch

That means putsch. Or coup, if you prefer.

Merkel

And there might be one in the making for Mini-Merkel herself (Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer or AKK). Then again, there might not be one in the making either. You never know for sure. But you can always hope, right?

Angela Merkel’s party in a shambles as new leader flounders – Christian Democrats fail to convince both the left and the right as some consider ousting successor…

Friedrich Merz, the conservative poster boy defeated by AKK in last year’s leadership race, said Merkel’s lack of direction was smothering Germany “like a carpet of fog.”

CDU-Parteitag in Leipzig – Riskiert Friedrich Merz den Putsch?