Angela Merkel Must Go

I couldn’t agree more. Enough Merkeldämmerung already (Twilight of the Merkel – as in of the Gods).

Merkel

But who is strong enough going to push her out the door? And who would want to? She’s the Blob, so don’t touch her. And she’s even cloned herself.

For 10 of the last 14 years, Merkel has presided over grand coalition governments, bringing together the centre-right Christian Democrats and the centre-left Social Democrats. This has given continuous stable government, but at a cost. Consensual centrism has not encouraged the robust political debate essential to a liberal democracy. Conservative Germans have long complained that “we have two social democratic parties”. This is a perfectly competent government for undemanding times, but with none of the ambition needed to face the giant challenges of today.

German Of The Day: Putsch

That means putsch. Or coup, if you prefer.

Merkel

And there might be one in the making for Mini-Merkel herself (Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer or AKK). Then again, there might not be one in the making either. You never know for sure. But you can always hope, right?

Angela Merkel’s party in a shambles as new leader flounders – Christian Democrats fail to convince both the left and the right as some consider ousting successor…

Friedrich Merz, the conservative poster boy defeated by AKK in last year’s leadership race, said Merkel’s lack of direction was smothering Germany “like a carpet of fog.”

CDU-Parteitag in Leipzig – Riskiert Friedrich Merz den Putsch?

German Of The Day: Grottenschlecht

That means abysmal, godawful, extremely bad, mega-bad and really sucky.

Merz

And after the CDU’s latest election disaster in Thuringia, Angela Merkel/Mini-Merkel adversary Friedrich Merz has grown the cojones (that’s Spanish so you’ll have to look that up somewhere else) needed to call Angela Merkel and her team’s “leadership” skills just that. Which, of course, they are. Somebody has to. Not that it’s going to make a difference or anything. But somebody has to.

German, European stability prospects unclear after Thuringia election – The far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) led by Björn Höcke — whose local political faction is being investigated for extremism — doubled its vote share to place second with 23%. The CDU placed third with 22%, followed by the SPD with 8%. The environmentalist Greens and the liberal Free Democrats (FDP) both finished with about 5% of the vote, the minimum needed to reenter the regional parliament.

„Das gesamte Erscheinungsbild der deutschen Bundesregierung ist einfach grottenschlecht.”

AKK Taling CaCaCa

Mini-MErkel alarm! Could this be the end of her beginning or the beginning of her end?

AKK

One can only hope for the later.

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer (AKK), leader of Germany’s centre-right CDU, faced a massive backlash on Tuesday after calling for tighter rules on politicking on the internet, with critics accusing her of advocating online censorship.

Her comments came after European elections in which the CDU and its main left-of-centre rival, the Social Democrats, slumped to their worst results in a national election since the second world war, as voters defected in their droves to the Greens.

“Freedom of expression is a precious commodity in a democracy. What we need to talk about are rules that would apply during election campaigns.”

Why Not?

She would certainly take uncontrolled migration more seriously than the current chancellor does.

Merkel

A Muslim as German chancellor? CDU leader slammed for saying ‘why not’

The party of Chancellor Angela Merkel has been roiled by a debate about whether a Muslim could lead the CDU and one day become chancellor. One lawmaker couldn’t believe anyone would even suggest such a thing.

“Why not, if they’re a good politician, and they represent our values and our political views?”

PS: Happy International Women’s Day!

Women

German Of The Day: Grenzschließung

That means border closure.

Borders

Damn. Maybe Mini-MErkel isn’t so Mini-MErkel after all.

Much like the SPD desperately trying to get back the people who used to vote for them with yesterday’s Hartz IV shenanigans, Germany’s CDU 2.0 (can we call it post-Merkel yet?) is fighting to get back the voters who abandoned them in droves after Angela Merkel’s bat shit crazy migrant fiasco of 2015. Boss lady Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer has made it clear that this can and will never happen again – without pointing fingers or naming any names, of course – and has even said that her party would be prepared shut down German borders (no, really, they have borders, too) should it ever be necessary.

Odd. These are stands that the pure evil of evilness AfD has been taking from the start (that’s were the CDU voters ran off to). Now the CDU is acting as though they just figured this out all by themselves. Better late than never, I guess.

„Wir haben gesagt, als Ultima Ratio wäre das durchaus auch denkbar.”

I Can’t Stand It

I know you planned it!

CDU

Conspiracy theory of the week: The CDU sabotaged Friedrich Merz’s chances for winning the election for party chairman against Mini-Merkel on Friday by turning down his microphone during his speech. I believe it. Of course, I also believe that interdimensional shapeshifting lizards are calling all the shots here on Planet Earth from a secret bunker complex somewhere under the polar ice cap, thus causing the ice there to melt. But still.

Wirre Gerüchte: Falsches Spiel mit Merz? CDU soll sein Mikro absichtlich gedimmt haben.

A Day That Will Live In Infamy

Meet Mini-Me. As in Mini-Merkel. Same as the old boss. Only mini-er.

AKK

That’s just what this country needs. More of the same. But if that’s what Dr. Evil wants, that’s what Dr. Evil gets. Whoopee or something.

Merkel, 64, later handed the baton to a successor at the party congress in Hamburg.

Annegret Kramp-Karrenbauer, who was widely seen as the chancellor’s favorite and has been branded a “mini-Merkel” by some media outlets, was elected as her replacement on Friday.

Kramp-Karrenbauer — who often goes by her initials AKK — got about 52 percent of the vote in in a run-off with Friedrich Merz, a former lawmaker who left politics to work as a corporate lawyer.

Mini-Me? Mini-Me? For God’s sake would someone put a fricken bell on her or something.

Warn?

Warn? Sure. But nothing will change.

Warn

German Conservatives Warn on Russian Pipeline Project – Contenders for Angela Merkel’s seat as head of the CDU question controversial project amid mounting Kremlin aggression.

An official close to Ms. Merkel said the German government wouldn’t have any legal means of stopping the pipeline as authorities have already issued permits and construction was under way.

How convenient.

“Many people inside Germany are coming to realize what most people outside of Germany already know: It is unwise to give Russia more influence over Europe’s energy security,”

The Wrath Of Khan

Only this Khan’s name is Wolfgang.

Khan

Maybe this Friedrich Merz has a chance of becoming head of the Christian Democrats (CDU) this Friday after all. Wolfgang Schäuble, the seventy-six-year-old CDU Urgestein (bedrock) who should have/would have been chancellor, is supporting Merz wholeheartedly. He is doing this out of conviction, of course, but he also has an ax to grind with Empress Merkel Herself (who wants Mini-Merkel to take over for her – and can’t stand Merz). Like Helmut Kohl before her, her rise to power came with a major political setback for Schäuble. Now it’s payback time. Better late than never.

“Of course! We are one big, happy fleet! Ah, Kirk, my old friend, do you know the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold?”

Weil er Kanzler nicht werden konnte, will er jetzt, am Ende eines schier unglaublichen Berufslebens, wenigstens Kanzlermacher sein. Er nutzt, 76-jährig, seine wohl letzte Gelegenheit, auf die Geschichte der CDU und der Bundesrepublik entscheidenden Einfluss zu nehmen – und damit zugleich für die politische Zurücksetzung, die er erst von Kohl und dann von Merkel erfahren hat, Genugtuung zu finden.