Book Him

And throw him in the ho-ho-hole.

Man dressed as Santa Claus arrested at COVID protest – Police arrested a man dressed as Santa Claus at the Stralsund Christmas market, in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern, on Monday. He was apparently taking part in an unregistered demonstration against coronavirus restrictions in Germany.

In a video of the arrest – which has since gone viral on social media – the man can be seen wearing the classic trappings of the world’s favourite yuletide visitor, along with a more unusual accessory: a sign that reads “2G – without me”. Together with approximately 65 other people, he was protesting against restrictions and the possibility of vaccines against coronavirus becoming compulsory for the wider public.

What Do You Mean A Man Dressed As Santa Claus?

A man dressed as Santa Claus poses with his ‘helpers’ who are busy answering children’s letters in the Santa Claus post office in the Eastern German town of Himmelpfort (Heaven’s Gate) on November 10, 2011. Children can send their Christmas wish lists to Himmelpfort from around the world and receive a reply from Santa. In 2010, the post office here received 285.000 letters in 17 languages.

Merry Christmas and stuff like that.

Talk About Your Christmas Spirit

Would you accept a free drink from a total stranger? Hell yeah, I would (it’s not like anybody is ever going to offer me one).

But Berlin police say this is not a good idea these days, as a man serving vodka-schnapps spiked with a date-rape drug is causing nausea and hurt Christmas feelings at that Berlin Christmas market nearest you.

So you better be good, you better not pout. Just say no. Ho, ho, ho.

Jüngst war der Täter als Weihnachtsmann verkleidet.

German Technophobia Reaches North Pole

In yet another shocking new disclosure that may or may not have come from WikiLeaks although it’s hard to say for sure, it has been revealed that neither the German Santa Claus, St. Nikolaus, nor his many thousands of merry German post office helpers reply to children’s wish lists sent in the so-called “e-mail” format, insisting instead that “they learn how to do it properly.”

“Obviously we, as the postal service, want children to write letters,” said St. Nikolaus spokesman Freddie von Scrooge. “And besides, once you give in and start letting stuff like “e-mail” through, the next thing you know they’ll be Street Viewing the freakin’ North Pole.”

Santa Doesn’t Do Digital