Nobody Escapes From A German Jail

Because nobody wants to.

Jail

It’s like a nice hotel stay and they’ll kick you out long before your sentence is over anyway. We’ll be hearing from this guy soon again, I’m sure.

Medellín cartel co-founder transferred to Germany after prison sentence – Carlos Lehder Rivas ran Medellín cartel alongside Pablo Escobar that smuggled cocaine worth billions to the US in 1970s and 80s.

German Of The Day: Antikörper

That means antibodies. You know, like antibodies that block coronavirus from spreading further?

Corona

German scientists have detected an antibody that blocks the coronavirus from entering cells, providing a much-needed shield for severely ill patients. While not a cure or vaccine, it is still a significant development.

“This is clearly a breakthrough that shows that we are on the right track for the development of a drug against Covid-19,” said virologist Professor Luka Cicin-Sain.

“In repeated experiments, we were able to show that this result is sustainable.”

Deutsche Forscher finden Corona-Blocker.

The Next German Folk Hero Is Born

For fifteen minutes or so, at least.

Folk Hero

Carola Rackete has been lauded as a heroine and decried as a criminal for helping asylum-seekers stranded in the Mediterranean Sea. What drives the 31-year-old German captain of the Sea-Watch rescue boat?

That’s easy. It’s the drug she’s taking: Guilt. Guilt gets people high. At least here in Germany it does. Guilt-induced moral intoxication turns its users from nobodies minding their own business into moral supermen saving the world. Those they claim to help are of secondary importance.

“I have decided to enter the port of Lampedusa. I know what I’m risking, but the 42 rescued people are exhausted. I’m taking them to safety now.”

Well, It’s Not Like They Could Be Arrested

Drug dealers need a safe space, too. At least in Berlin they do.

Drug dealers in Berlin are to be given designated spaces in a city centre park to carry out transactions, leading to criticism that authorities have capitulated to criminal gangs.

For years there has been a heated debate about Görlitzer Park, a popular meeting point in the trendy southern Berlin district of Kreuzberg, which has been attracting an ever increasing number of drug dealers. Local people said they were reluctant to let children and pets roam free there.

After repeated attempts by police to clear the dealers failed, the park manager declared areas where they should be allowed to operate, identified by spray-painted pink boxes.

“This method has purely practical reasoning behind it. It’s not that we’re legalising the selling of drugs.”

German Of The Day: Nichts klappt

That means nothing works. Or how about “failed State?” That means failed state. You know, like the failed city-state of Berlin?

Palmer

When the prominent Mayor of Tübingen Boris Palmer (Greens) has to come to Berlin for business he says to himself “Watch out, you are now leaving the functioning part of Germany.” He just can’t deal with the mix of crime, drug dealing and bitter poverty confronting him here on the street. “I don’t want to have these conditions in Tübingen,” he says.

Don’t worry. You never will. And you’re right, of course. Nothing works here in Berlin. But isn’t that the point? Oddly, for whatever the reason (decades of SPD-Green-Left Party mismanagement at city hall? Half the population being on welfare?) nobody in Berlin seems to care. And sheesh. In all fairness, this guy has clearly never been to an American city.

Berlin, ein „failed State“? Irgendwie schon, so Tübingens Oberbürgermeister Boris Palmer. Die Mischung aus Kriminalität, Drogenhandel und bitterer Armut auf der Straße verunsichere ihn als Baden-Württemberger nachhaltig.

German Of The Day: Tapfer

That means brave or valiant. Yeah, here’s to you tapfer drug dealers hanging out in the parks of Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg.

Drugs

Only in Berlin, folks. No joke: Somebody over at that district’s museum of local history has set up an exhibition honoring the “undaunted” criminal African drug dealers who carry out their illegal trade despite the slings and arrows of outreageous fortune they are forced to endure like… I dunno. Being pursued by the cops for breaking the law?

Oh yeah, and there’s racism involved, too (there always is). These guys are “in the spotlight of racist animosity” and are the “scapegoats for collective hate” because all they want to do is sell illegal drugs and the system won’t let them do it. Oppression everywhere you look these days, I tell you.

This is an outrage, damn it! That something like this exhibition is possible and it isn’t even meant to be a joke, I mean. Or is it? The more I read this the less sure about it I am.

„Drogendealer leisten einen gesellschaftlich wertvollen und von vielen Menschen geschätzten Dienst – und zwar dort, wo sie gut zu erreichen sind: mitten im Bezirk, vor allem in den Parks.“

PS: Friedrichshain-Kreuzberg is a so-called red-red-green district governed by the Greens, the SPD and the Left Party. Just in case you were wondering.

Drug Snugglers Getting Trickier All The Time

I mean smugglers.

Drugs

OK. So like how did that customs dude at Frankfurt Airport determine that there are two silicon implants filled with cocaine in there (500 grams each)?

He must have been given a hot tip. Although any boob could see that those were loaded. I guess she got busted.

Die „Bild“ berichtet über den skurrilen Fund der Zollbeamten. Demnach sei die Frau schon auf dem zehnstündigen Flug aus Südamerika nach Frankfurt wegen ihrer enormen Oberweite aufgefallen.

Speaking Of Driving…

I don’t think the question they should be asking here is “What is driving Angela Merkel?

Merkel

It ought to be “What kind of industrial strength hallucinogenics is she on at the moment and where can I get some, please?” Let’s face it, folks. Whatever that stuff is it’s working REAL GOOD.

Or maybe they’re just really, really, really strong sedatives?

Chancellor Angela Merkel spent a decade amassing political capital. Now, with the refugee crisis showing no signs of abating, she has decided to spend it. With her legacy in the balance, she has finally found an issue to fight for. But why now?

This Gives “Please Keep Off The Grass” A Whole New Meaning

More budding crime in Kreuzberg. I bet the Greens planted this stuff. Or maybe some other dope. What a bunch of crackpots.

Pot

Kreuzberg is a really seedy district, you know. And these weren’t even potted plants. They just found this stuff among the weeds.  I tell you, this town is really going to pot…

I got a million of ’em, folks!

Dass in Berlin-Kreuzberg öffentlich ein Joint geraucht wird, ist nichts Besonderes. Aber bei mehreren hundert Cannabis-Pflanzen auf einer öffentlichen Grünanlage wird dann selbst in Berlin die Polizei aktiv.

Even The Germans Are Figuring Out That ADHD Is A Hoax

The use of Ritalin for ADHD (ADHS in German) in Germany is now sinking for the first time in 20 years. And this despite the fact that more and more adults are now using it.

ADHS

German families and even German doctors themselves are now coming to the shocking conclusion that not every German child with the fictitious disease needs to be prescribed a real medicine for it. So like, what do they do now? And how are they going to break it to the kids?

Some sociologists consider ADHD to be an example of the medicalization of deviant behavior, or in other words, the turning of the previously non medical issue of school performance into a medical one.

“ADHD is a prime example of a fictitious disease.”