If you DON’T want to know who’s going to win the World Cup mega-match between England and Germany this Sunday, then DON’T watch this video.
Paul has so far correctly predicted all of Germany’s results in South Africa.
Tag Archives: Soccer
Germans in drag
OK, fine. But in Pakistan?
A German national terrorist type wearing a burqa got busted by Pakistani security forces while trying to sneak through a security check post in northwestern Pakistan.
Worse still, he was also wearing one of those loud and annoying German World Cup flag jerseys and antler sets everybody’s wearing around here these days – or he might as well have been.
The German was wearing a full-body sewing cloth that Muslim women wear for cultural and religious reasons.
It’s Selbstzerfleischung time again!
Everything goes from one extreme to the other here, that’s just what Germans do.
Selbstzerfleischung means something like self-destructive criticism and with German Fußball it goes like this: Just a few hours ago, what seemed like the entire German nation gathered together at public and less public viewing locales everywhere to watch their team beat Serbia mit links (with the left hand – hands down). They won’t necessarily admit that this is what they were thinking but this is precisely what they were.
Then they lost for some reason. So now it goes back the other way: The entire German nation is now down on the same team they were so confident in a few hours back for being the biggest bunch of losers they’ve ever seen since the last time they saw them lose – although it was a different set of losers then – only now they admit openly that they were thinking this would happen all along.
Then come the reasons why they lost, and they are legion. Blah, blah, blah. Everybody knows why afterward, and the venom gets on everything. It’s a real mess and practically impossible to get out unless you use Ariel at 60 Grad, twice.
But they’re trying this time, the Germans. I must say that they’re doing their best to spread the blame around a little more unfairly, as best they can, although the way they’re spreading it isn’t all that terribly original: They’re blaming the referee this time too.
“Der Schiedsrichter ist auch nur ein Mensch – aber kein guter.”
Athletes are dumb
We knew that already, right? But sports commentators can be pretty dumb too, you know.
Nobody knows what this lady was thinking when she said it, least of all herself I’m sure, but after Germany’s Miroslav Klose shot this beautiful goal against Australia the other night (and ended a long dry spell everybody had been ragging him about), she said “That’s a real inner Reichsparteitag (Nuremberg Rally) for Miroslav Klose, that he scores a goal like that here today.”
Huh? That’s a new one for me – although it’s clearly not a new one for a bunch of other folks around here. Dict.cc just told me that it’s an idiom meaning “a feeling of deep satisfaction over the outcome of something.” Oh. That makes it, uh, better, I guess.
“Es war eine sprachliche Entgleisung im Eifer der Halbzeitpause.”
Germans can’t hear own screaming
For cryin’ out loud. German Fußball viewers everywhere were mad as hell at all that obnoxious vuvuzela noise drowning out their own even more obnoxious German screaming and blowing up stuff sounds as Germany beat the vuvuzela out of Australia last night.
Television channels here even received complaints thinking the noise was due to some technical problem. Which it is, I guess. It’s technically a technology that works way too well.
“Vuvuzelas belong to South African football like battle songs belong to German games.”
Work, work, work…
While watching World Cup at work, work, work.
You got to set your priorities, I guess. And when it comes to the soccer (some say football) World Cup starting this weekend, Germans have clearly set theirs. Even the head of the national employers’ association believes his countrymen should be allowed to watch the World Cup on television at work without getting into trouble with their superiors.
This is a sensible thing to say, I think, because they’re going to be watching it one way or the other anyway.
“Watching soccer together encourages team cohesion and staff motivation.”
Pardon me boy, is that the relegation station?
It ain’t over ’til it’s over, Hertha Berlin.
But it’s pretty much over.
Last season Hertha Berlin was in the running for the Bundesliga title. Now five points below the relegation drop zone and with three highly challenging games ahead of them, relegation seems all but certain.
Indignant fans beat crap out of each other
Thoroughly outraged by revelations about a gambling ring that has fixed or tried to rig at least 200 matches across Germany and the rest of Europe, including three in the Champions League, German football fans across the nation spontaneously took to the stadiums yesterday and began randomly beating the you-know-what out of each other.
“We demand stiffer sanctions for this match-fixing nonsense stuff immediately already,” roared one blood-soaked, club-wielding fan. “This kind of behavior is absolutely unacceptable and is just the kind of thing that could give the sport of football (some call it soccer) a bad name.”
German police said on Friday they had dismantled a gang with more than 200 suspected members operating in nine European leagues.
How many times now?
They’ve been European Championship champions for five years in a row now. They’ve won 35 consecutive Euro matches in the process.
And if you look hard enough, you might even find a few people (men people?) here in Germany who actually care.
“We played well in patches but credit to Germany, they were very clinical.”
Observing Hermann 