Our Autobahns Don’t Stink

January 15, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Infrastructure, Renewable energy, Satire, The Greens Leave a comment

Remember how the Greens in Berlin shot themselves in the foot after elections last fall by sticking ever so stickily to sticky green principles by just saying no to a two-mile stretch of Berlin autobahn that everybody in town wanted but them?

It was a stellar performance in reality check checking and how not to form a coalition government with the SPD even though everyone seemed convinced up until then that the Greens were either going to take over the Berlin city goverment completely or at least play a major role as junior partner (neither happened).

Well surprise, surprise. Green shirt ideologues what’s upstairs have now just okayed a working paper calling for a more offensive and quite massive expansion of the German autobahn system in West Germany. This is not a sell-out of green principles, however, not that you were even thinking that.

Green autobahns, as you may know, are made of biodegradable concrete and recycled plastic ALDI shopping bags, constructed using environmentally friendly green technology (wind-, I mean hot air-powered) and progressive landscaping techniques which allow for low carbon tire prints, renewable eco-outhouse rest stop stops and an overal eco-friendly and very green if not rather high global environmental greenhouse impact.

Alles im grünen Bereich, wie immer.

Too Much Sun, Son

December 22, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Alternative Energy, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Green energy, Humor, Renewable energy, Satire, Solar energy, The Green Shirts, The Greens 1 Comment

Now if we could only learn to harness the power of falling solar energy company stocks…

Solar Millennium AG plunged by a record in Frankfurt trading after becoming the second publicly traded German solar company to file for insolvency.

Let’s face it, people: The sun and Germany just don’t mix.

Solar Millennium war ein grüner Börsenstar. Beim Solarkraftwerk-Hersteller klang immer alles nach Weltrettung, ständig ging es um die Zukunft der Menschheit. Seit Donnerstag ist das Unternehmen pleite und es wird klar: Viele hundert Millionen Euro sind weg. Es droht einer der größten Anlageskandale der Geschichte.

Phase Out vs. Cash In

December 19, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic energy, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire, The Greens Leave a comment

“Fukushima changed my attitude towards nuclear energy,” she said.

Now, though, it would appear that German industry is relying on government assistance to pursue the construction of nuclear power plants abroad.

Four applications for government export guarantees on nuclear power plant projects are currently under consideration. Known as Hermes guarantees, the program protects German companies from non-payment on overseas deals. The four projects are located in Finland, Great Britain, China and India.

“The nuclear phaseout must also apply to export guarantees.”

Bad Kanada, Bad!

December 13, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Activism, Berlin, Canada, Climate Change, German, Germans, Germany, Global warming, Kyoto, The Greens 5 Comments

Remember when Canada used to be one of the good countries (as seen from a German point of view)?

Well now those crazy canucks went and done it and have formally withdrawn from the Kyoto Protocol on climate change ITSELF, just like that, and just days after that cheesy last-minute el cheapo compromise on climate change in Durban that got German environmentalists over here (and everywhere else) all hot and bothered and globally warmed up and stuff. Sheesh.

And all for the love of money!? Why those no-good-dog-sledding-pill-pushing-maple-smokers. Can you imagine that? Is nothing sacred anymore? Since when has money made the world go around, people? Oh. That long, really? Damn.

So now even the Canadians are acting like, well, Americans. Talk about the wheels falling off your dog and pony show climate change bandwagen. What does this mean? Where do we not go from here? Like, other than Germany, who’s going to be next?

“Canada’s obligations under Kyoto would cost $13.6bn (10.3bn euros; £8.7bn): “That’s $1,600 from every Canadian family – that’s the Kyoto cost to Canadians, that was the legacy of an incompetent Liberal government.”

Same Procedure As Every Year

December 11, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Climate Change, CO2, Durban, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, The Environment, The Green Shirts, The Greens Leave a comment

Why put off for tomorrow what you can put off for The Day After Tomorrow instead? Get it?

Oh boy, another climate change agreement. You know, an agreement about agreeing to agree on how governments will agree in the future on how to commit themselves to agree upon finally reaching a final agreement about… I forgot about what, but it has something to do with CO2 or something.

Have you noticed how die Luft ist raus (the air is out or the wheels are off) of the we’re-all-going-to-die-right-now climate change movement? You can only cry wolf for so long, I guess. The masses, in their inexplicable and infinite wisdom, seem to have lost all sense of urgency and are no longer cooperating – not even in Germany. And not even the do-gooders-what’s-in-charge leading them, trying so hard to get that sense of urgency back, seem to know “why Durban is different to climate change agreements of the past.” But they’re trying to understand and I wish them all the very best.

Und das ist gut so (and this is a good thing), these wheels coming off. Once everybody stops hollerin’ and things start calming down a bit maybe we can all get together and begin to approach this issue with a little bit of common sense. Opps, I mean intelligence.

Bis kurz vor Schluss sah es aus, als würde der Klimagipfel von Durban ohne Ergebnis enden. Heraus kommt ein nüchterner Zeitplan, mit dem viele Entscheidungen verschoben werden.

8000 Jobs For A Better World

December 4, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear power, The Greens Leave a comment

For a better dream world, I should say.

You know, for a better dream world without nuclear energy? Germany utility RWE plans to cut costs – and 8000 jobs – as it trys to come to grips with Germany’s decision to phase out nuclear power by 2022 – and then continue to import it´s nuclear power from France and others instead.

These 8000 jobs will just be the start of it, of course. But aller Anfang ist schwer, as the Germans say: The first step is the hardest. It will get a lot easier firing folks once “the movement” gains movement, I mean progresses.

Is It Really Over?

November 28, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Helections, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Demonstrations, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Protest, Protestors, Satire, Stuttgart, Stuttgart 21, The Green Shirts, The Greens 4 Comments

Finished? Endlich vorbei? Finito and all that? For real?

Das Votum der Bürger in Baden-Württemberg ist eindeutig: Stuttgart 21 soll gebaut werden. Das führt zu Erleichterung einerseits, Ärger andererseits. Und Politikern, die sich die Sache schönreden.

I don´t have to hear about Stuttgart 21 demonstrators anymore? I don´t have to wonder anymore about why I´ve never understood how people can go ballistic about rebuilding a city´s freakin´train station underground as if it were some unspeakably important social issue? Honest? You´re not shitting me here? The war is finally over and Johnny can come marching home?

Well then let us all stand and sing together!

Mine eyes have seen the glory
of the coming of the Lord;
he is trampling out the vintage
where the grapes of wrath are stored;
he hath loosed the fateful lightning
of his terrible swift sword;
his truth is marching on.

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

The Color Of Money

November 27, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: Berlin, Ecology, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, The Green Shirts, The Greens, The State 1 Comment

We’re the Greens. You know, green like money (well it’s green back home)? And that’s what it’s going to cost you too, having voted for us like you did – and yet will (the Greens have become a Volkspartei or major party since Fukushima, remember?).

We only want to help you and we are only doing this for your own good, but in order to ecologically retrofit the German nation it will unfortunately be necessary for our subjects everywhere, green or not, to pay quite heavily through the nose.

It’s all about Umverteilung (redistribution – of other people’s money), as usual. And here at our party convention in Kiel we have come up with just a few of the ways with which this will soon be done:

The toll for trucks will be increased.
The company car privilege will be phased out.
Ecological taxation will be increased, loopholes will be closed.
The tax advantage for married couples will be phased out.
Reduced rate exceptions for the value added tax will be eliminated.
The top tax rate will be increased to 49% (beginning with 80,000 euros gross).
The flat rate withholding tax will be replaced with a progressive tax.
A capital levy on “the rich” will be introduced.
A capital tax will be introduced (replacing the capital levy on “the rich” after ten years).
A “financial market transaction tax” will be introduced.

Like we said, these are just a few modest suggestions for Vorspeise (an appetizer). Just wait until we are actually in power.

Qualität hat ihren Preis (everything comes at a price).

Viva la revolución verde!

Our Wind Farms Would Work Just Great

November 17, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helplessness, Hi-tech, Hysteria Tags: Alternative Energy, Atomic energy, Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Nuclear energy, Satire, The Greens, Wind Energy, Wind Farms Leave a comment

It’s just that we don’t have the cables to bring the energy to shore (nor the money to lay them).

The network operator building those giant offshore wind farms planned to be a “supporting column” in Germany’s coming-one-day-but-not-in-any-way-near-there-yet energy turnaround, is no longer able to continue “work as usual.”

Like the Dutch government before them, having learned that offshore wind power is too expensive and that it cannot afford to subsidize the entire cost, the good folks at TenneT TSO GmbH are now about to throw in the towel, seemingly unable to find financing in the private sector that would allow them to continue their over cost and behind schedule project (it’s probably them damned durn banks doing this again, or that 1%).

The connection from Water World (Wind World?) back to Planet Earth has turned out to be more complicated and expensive than politically correct planners had originally thought, in other words, provided they had even thought about it at all.

But don’t worry, Green Shirt ideologues have already assured us that “If Tennent can’t swing the offshore development, somebody else can.” Money seems to be no object here, you see. When it’s not yours, I mean.

“Wenn Tennet den Offshore-Ausbau nicht schultern kann, müssen andere ran.”

Germans Puzzled By Rising Electricity Prices

October 20, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Hard Facts, Heconomy, Hysteria Tags: Atomic power, Berlin, Fukushima, German, Germans, Germany, Nuclear power, Renewable energy, The Greens 4 Comments

They are also puzzled about the increased number of “mini-blackouts” taking place across the land.

And no one can properly explain these mysterious phenomena, although the Internet portal Verivox gave it a halfhearted try: The increased share in the costs for renewable energy and the ten percent wholesale energy price increase which resulted after the shutdown of eight nuclear power plants this sommer are responsible.

To be fair, electricity prices rise here very year. To be unfair, most German media and the poltical elite refuse to admit that the price increases now taking place are a direct result of their hysterical nuclear phase-out Aktionismus (politicking).

Als Grund gab Verivox die gestiegene Umlage für die erneuerbaren Energien sowie die Erhöhung der Großhandelspreise an, die für rund 15 Euro Mehrkosten im Jahr verantwortlich sein werden. Die Großhandelspreise waren nach der Abschaltung von acht deutschen Atomkraftwerken im Sommer um rund zehn Prozent nach oben geschossen.

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

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