Well I Thought It Was Real News, Too

German news is reporting that Iranian news is reporting that American news is reporting that a Gallup poll is reporting how rural white Americans prefer Ahmadinejad  to Obama.

Unfortunately (did I just write unfortunately?), this was just another satirical piece by The Onion. Dumb Iranians.

“I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a beer with Ahmadinejad, a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed, than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.”

Iran using tricks?

Really? Who would have thought that? After all these long years, I mean.

It must have been those tricky Avatar 3D glasses that finally tipped the Germans off.

Westerwelle told Deutschlandfunk radio that Iran would be judged by its actions and not by its words, and that only a serious return to negotiations would prevent further measures such as sanctions being imposed on the Islamic Republic.

Hear no evil

Then there’s no need to see it either. Germany is threatening to walk out during Mahmoud “The Rude” Ahmadinejad’s planned speech at the UN later today should he deny the Holocaust for the nine hundred and thirty-fourth time this year.

You can't deny I'm one rude guy.

“We will leave the hall if President Ahmadinejad denies the Holocaust or makes anti-Semitic statements … we are making efforts towards a unified European position,” a spokesman at the German foreign ministry said.

Another spokesman who asked not to be identified said that if that doesn’t work, the next time Ahmadinejad gets squirrely at the UN European delegations will unify in holding their breathes until their faces turn uniformly blue.

“As recently as last week, Ahmadinejad has called the Holocaust a lie, repeating the inflammatory statement as world powers weigh how to deal with Iran’s nuclear ambitions.”