Russia Feels Germany’s Puzzlement

Speaking at an event in Berlin’s Hotel Adlon, Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov could not agree more with German concern for the growing anti-Russian sentiment in Europe and around the world, explaining to understanding listeners that it is all just another anti-Russian conspiracy orchestrated by Washington, the UN, the EU, NATO,  the International Association of Youth Hypnotists, the Society for the Prevention of Plate Tectonics, the Animal Voting Rights Defense League and many, many, many others.

Russia

“Russia bashing these days is just as much a mystery to me as it is to you Germans,” Lavrov said. “Our annexation of the Crimea has long been forgotten, as have our countless bloody covert operations in Ukraine and the open bullying of our Baltic neighbors that is still going on. Our ongoing atrocities in Syria are second page news. And who cares anymore about our relentless and highly sophisticated hacker attacks all over the world, the ones we never committed, I mean? Nor is Germany’s dependence upon Russian gas of any concern to anyone, much less you here in Germany. It’s not like it would ever be used to exert political influence or anything. Then there is this recurring myth about our treatment of the political opposition in Russia. Ridiculous. There is no political opposition in Russia. I could go on and on forever but what’s the point? Like I said, this Russia phobia wackiness sure the hell beats me.”

Lawrow beklagt Russophobie in EU und Nato.

Massive Logistical Move Could, Should And Will Take Months

Transferring six (6) aircraft from Turkey halfway around the world to Jordan is anything but an easy logistical problem to solve.

War

Not if you are the German army, it isn’t. A move of this magnitude has to be carefully planned and cautiously implemented (not to mention cautiously planned and carefully implemented), otherwise something could go wrong because, well, only one or two of these damned planes actually fly.

And this is war, after all.

Last month, Ankara blocked a German parliamentary delegation from visiting Bundeswehr troops at the base, marking the second time that Turkey had done so. Turkish officials said their decision was a response to Germany granting asylum to Turkish military personnel accused of participating in a failed coup last year – a move that reportedly enraged Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

PS: Brought to you by the same people who gave us The Flight of the Phoenix?

Leading Purveyor Of Nazi Analogies Explains Why This Is A Really Dumb Thing To Do

A government spokesman for a country in which Nazi analogies are passed about daily like warme Semmeln (hot cakes) has explained to White House spokesman Sean Spicer that this is a really counterproductive and stupid thing to do.

Spicer

The spokesman for the chancellor of said country then went on to explain that comments about chemical weapons Spicer had made comparing gas-happy Syrian President Bashar Assad to Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler could never be a wise idea “because we in my country have been making comparisons like these for ages already, calling practically anyone who annoys us in the slightest way a Nazi, and yet we still can’t seem to figure out how pointless and senseless it is. Leads to nothing. A total waste of time. Believe me, I know. I do it on a regular basis myself. Like when that guy took the parking space I wanted this morning. It’s genetic or something. Not racial or anything, OK? Genetic.”

Die Bundesregierung hat sich zum Assad-Hitler-Vergleich von Trumps Sprecher Sean Spicer geäußert. So etwas führe “zu nichts Gutem”, sagte Regierungssprecher Seibert.

Obama’s Red Line Finally Crossed

Yesterday: “Germany welcomes Trump criticism of Assad” (Washington Post).

Today: “Trump playing the world’s policeman after all” (Welt – N24).

Syria

There’s talk and then there’s action. Talk is always cheap. Action is always, well, bad.

“I didn’t set a red line. The world set a red line.”

Als Reaktion auf den mutmaßlichen Giftgasangriff des syrischen Regimes auf den Ort Chan Scheichun haben die USA erstmals seit Beginn des Syrien-Kriegs Luftangriffe gegen das Assad-Regime geflogen.   

Germans Involved In Airstrike?

What, like an airstrike for higher pay and more vacation? Or one for planes that actually fly? This must be some kind of a misunderstanding or something. German war planes (the ones that still fly) are only used on missions of goodness and niceness.

Airstrike

German jets reportedly passed intelligence to the anti-IS coalition for an airstrike that killed dozens of civilians in Syria. Germany only provides reconnaissance and does not carry out attacks.

“The conflict in Syria is very heavily dependent on aerial intelligence. Countries which may not be involved in the direct fighting in Syria, such as Germany, are nevertheless playing a key role in gathering crucial aerial intelligence, which then feeds into lethal strikes by others, primarily the United States.”

Angela Merkel To Be Deported

Although it looks to me like they may have picked the wrong one.

Merkel

Late last year, a Syrian woman gave birth to a girl at a former hospital that had been repurposed into a refugee shelter in Duisburg, Germany. She and her husband had only recently arrived in Germany and wanted to honor their new home. So, they named their daughter Angela Merkel.

But less than a month before the infant’s first birthday, the Al-Hamza family’s future in their adopted country isn’t looking so sure. According to the Bild newspaper, the family was told their asylum application had been rejected by Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees. Instead, the Al-Hamza family has been offered “subsidiary protection,” a separate legal status that protects people from deportation for an initial period of one year but does not allow them to bring their family to Germany. They may stay longer if they are shown to be working and learning German to a sufficient level.

“There are no indications that the Syrian state puts everyone under general suspicion of belonging to the opposition.”

Apartheid Introduced In Germany

Or a form of it has begun creeping in, I should say. Which is creepy enough.

Apartheid

Only this type of apartheid is different. It is the kind practiced in the Muslim world.

Germans, famously open to the influx of strange, new cultural practices and the introduction of bizarre and foreign social customs in their country, have decided to take the initiative and beat their ever-growing Muslim population to the draw, so-to-speak, by establishing the system of gender segregation so popular in the Muslim world today (and soon to be introduced in your country, too).

This move is due, in part, to the fear German women now have of the countless Muslim male refugees who have entered their country in a thoroughly chaotic and uncontrolled manner although of course no one here is actually allowed to say that, you see (I’m not from here).

And how has the ice been broken? Private German rail operator MRB has introduced the country’s first women-only compartments on its service between Leipzig and Chemnitz. This may be a small step for segregation, but it is a giant leap for Islamkind.

In doing so, by the way, MRB and others have gone out of their way to stress that this is “not a response to Cologne attacks.” But what else are they going to say? If you tell folks the real reason you might hurt somebody’s feelings. And that would be cruel. And very unusual.

“We can’t put these ladies in a separate box and expect the bigger problem to vanish.”

Is 77 Percent A Lot?

That’s the percentage of migrants who came to Germany in January without having any identification papers.

Stop

But don’t worry about that or anything. Everything is under control, as usual. Human rights organizations even say that there is a good explanation for this. And that’s of course when I stopped reading the article because I have a good explanation for this, too. It’s called: Not wanting to be identified.

Have any of you non-migrant types who already live here or elsewhere legally ever tried to explain to a German cop or other German authority that you do not have an ID when asked for one? I didn’t think so. It wouldn’t, like, fly well. Like not well at all. But some of us are more equal than others these days, I guess.

Der überwiegende Teil der Flüchtlinge, die nach Deutschland kommen, hat keine gültigen Papiere. Nach Ansicht von Menschenrechtsorganisationen gibt es dafür auch eine gute Erklärung.

German Tornadoes Useless At Night?

So what? They’re pretty worthless during the day, too.

Tornadoes

In a new humiliation for Germany’s defense ministry, the six Tornado airplanes that had been touted as a much-needed German contribution to the fight against “Islamic State” terrorism are outfitted with lighting far too bright for pilots’ eyes.

Meanwhile… Ursula von der Leyen: “The Bundeswehr fights against ISIS in Syria and the Taliban in Afghanistan.”

Fights?

Germany stands in the way in the fight against ISIS!

In Syria the Bundeswehr does not “fight” at all. The Bundeswehr leaves the fighting to others (politically intended), for instance to the Kurds or the Americans, the French and the British. Kurdish troops fight on the ground against ISIS, having been furnished arms by Germany…

Nor does the Bundeswehr “fight” in Afghanistan, not for a long time now. It has pulled out of all contested areas. Since then the Taliban rules there – undisturbed by the Germans…

Many German soldiers have fought and died or ruined their health in Afghanistan. It is simply not fair to them to claim that the Bundeswehr “fights” anywhere against the Islamic threat.

Rejected Asylum Seeker Problem To Be Solved In No Time

In no geologic time, I mean.

Asylum Seekers

Wow. “Germany reports doubling of deportation numbers 2015” to more than 18,000 rejected asylum seekers, the headline goes. So, in other words, take a chill pill and relax already everybody. At this rate the rest of those to be rejected – from the 1,000,000+++ that have arrived so far in Germany this year – ought to be back home again by Easter, thus reducing the number remaining to 1,000,000++ (that’s minus one +). From the 2015 number, I mean. Next year all bets are off, however.

In 2014, German authorities registered 10,884 deportations. This year, the number rose to 18,363 until the end of November, the interior ministry said.