Russia To Begin Behaving Better Now

Because, well, Germany’s foreign minister has told them to.

Heiko

Thank goodness. I wish someone would have told them this earlier. These tensions with Russia have been really sucky lately. Germany may not be much when it comes to hands-on action in matters like these but they really take the Kuchen (cake) when it comes to giving good advice.

German Foreign Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) on Sunday criticized Russia for a series of activities beyond its borders, blaming it for a cyber attack on his own ministry, and said Moscow must change its ways.

Maas listed a series of what he called problematic actions that also included the lack of progress in implementing a ceasefire in eastern Ukraine, a poison gas attack in Britain, support for the Syrian government, and efforts to influence Western elections.

“It is time, I think, to point out that we expect constructive contributions from the Russian side, including on the Syrian conflict. And also that they don’t always simply protect (Syrian President Bashar) al-Assad.”

Advertisements

German Of The Day: Kristallklar

That means crystal-clear. You know, like Germany’s policy of backing the airstrikes in Syria as “necessary and appropriate” – immediately after they have taken place?

Germany

This “hat Hand und Fuß” (has hand and foot = rhyme and reason) as immediately before they took place Germany made clear that it would not participate or support these airstrikes in any way. Being a responsible ally with clear conviction beforehand was apparently neither “necessary” nor “appropriate,” you see.

No one here or anywhere else bats an eye at this strange logic (some would call it a contradiction) much less critisizes it because German policy in matters like these where something is asked or expected of them is always contradictory – and no one here or anywhere else very much seems to care. The German conviction is to freeload, in other words. Or perhaps this confusion is not a contradiction at all, just another complex nuance of the German language.

“We support the fact that our American, British and French allies have taken responsibility in this way as permanent members of the UN Security Council.”

Made In Germany

Speaking of sanctions… Neither Iran nor Syria will ever have to worry about those, either. Not as long as Germany is in the picture, I mean.

Germany

Germany’s Federal Office for Economic Affairs and Export Control approved a license for a company to sell military applicable technology to Iranian companies that subsequently was used in Syrian regime chemical weapons attacks, reported the German publication Bild on Monday.

The German company Krempel, located near the southern city of Stuttgart, sold electronic press boards to Iranian companies that were used in the production of rockets.

Deutsche Bauteile in Assads Giftgas-Raketen – „Der konventionelle Gefechtskopf wurde entfernt und mit einem großen Gaszylinder ersetzt.“ Die Kennzeichnung aller Raketen verrate, dass sie „2016 produziert wurden und während des Konfliktes aus dem Iran geliefert wurden“.

German Of The Day: Familienzusammenführung

That means family reunification. And that is what 390,000 Syrian asylum seekers in Germany have now been granted.

Familien

Meaning? Meaning, of course, that 390,000 Syrian families (families, not individuals) still in Syria will now be given asylum in Germany, too (probably to include Cousin It, Uncle Fester und the neighbor’s dog). They will only be staying here temporarily, however. Just like the first wave that organized this second one, see? So it ain’t no big deal or anything. And the German government has money to burn. Or sure seems to.

390 000 Syrer dürfen ihre Familien nachholen.

Russia Feels Germany’s Puzzlement

Speaking at an event in Berlin’s Hotel Adlon, Russian foreign minister Sergey Lavrov could not agree more with German concern for the growing anti-Russian sentiment in Europe and around the world, explaining to understanding listeners that it is all just another anti-Russian conspiracy orchestrated by Washington, the UN, the EU, NATO,  the International Association of Youth Hypnotists, the Society for the Prevention of Plate Tectonics, the Animal Voting Rights Defense League and many, many, many others.

Russia

“Russia bashing these days is just as much a mystery to me as it is to you Germans,” Lavrov said. “Our annexation of the Crimea has long been forgotten, as have our countless bloody covert operations in Ukraine and the open bullying of our Baltic neighbors that is still going on. Our ongoing atrocities in Syria are second page news. And who cares anymore about our relentless and highly sophisticated hacker attacks all over the world, the ones we never committed, I mean? Nor is Germany’s dependence upon Russian gas of any concern to anyone, much less you here in Germany. It’s not like it would ever be used to exert political influence or anything. Then there is this recurring myth about our treatment of the political opposition in Russia. Ridiculous. There is no political opposition in Russia. I could go on and on forever but what’s the point? Like I said, this Russia phobia wackiness sure the hell beats me.”

Lawrow beklagt Russophobie in EU und Nato.

Massive Logistical Move Could, Should And Will Take Months

Transferring six (6) aircraft from Turkey halfway around the world to Jordan is anything but an easy logistical problem to solve.

War

Not if you are the German army, it isn’t. A move of this magnitude has to be carefully planned and cautiously implemented (not to mention cautiously planned and carefully implemented), otherwise something could go wrong because, well, only one or two of these damned planes actually fly.

And this is war, after all.

Last month, Ankara blocked a German parliamentary delegation from visiting Bundeswehr troops at the base, marking the second time that Turkey had done so. Turkish officials said their decision was a response to Germany granting asylum to Turkish military personnel accused of participating in a failed coup last year – a move that reportedly enraged Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdogan.

PS: Brought to you by the same people who gave us The Flight of the Phoenix?

Leading Purveyor Of Nazi Analogies Explains Why This Is A Really Dumb Thing To Do

A government spokesman for a country in which Nazi analogies are passed about daily like warme Semmeln (hot cakes) has explained to White House spokesman Sean Spicer that this is a really counterproductive and stupid thing to do.

Spicer

The spokesman for the chancellor of said country then went on to explain that comments about chemical weapons Spicer had made comparing gas-happy Syrian President Bashar Assad to Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler could never be a wise idea “because we in my country have been making comparisons like these for ages already, calling practically anyone who annoys us in the slightest way a Nazi, and yet we still can’t seem to figure out how pointless and senseless it is. Leads to nothing. A total waste of time. Believe me, I know. I do it on a regular basis myself. Like when that guy took the parking space I wanted this morning. It’s genetic or something. Not racial or anything, OK? Genetic.”

Die Bundesregierung hat sich zum Assad-Hitler-Vergleich von Trumps Sprecher Sean Spicer geäußert. So etwas führe “zu nichts Gutem”, sagte Regierungssprecher Seibert.

Obama’s Red Line Finally Crossed

Yesterday: “Germany welcomes Trump criticism of Assad” (Washington Post).

Today: “Trump playing the world’s policeman after all” (Welt – N24).

Syria

There’s talk and then there’s action. Talk is always cheap. Action is always, well, bad.

“I didn’t set a red line. The world set a red line.”

Als Reaktion auf den mutmaßlichen Giftgasangriff des syrischen Regimes auf den Ort Chan Scheichun haben die USA erstmals seit Beginn des Syrien-Kriegs Luftangriffe gegen das Assad-Regime geflogen.   

Germans Involved In Airstrike?

What, like an airstrike for higher pay and more vacation? Or one for planes that actually fly? This must be some kind of a misunderstanding or something. German war planes (the ones that still fly) are only used on missions of goodness and niceness.

Airstrike

German jets reportedly passed intelligence to the anti-IS coalition for an airstrike that killed dozens of civilians in Syria. Germany only provides reconnaissance and does not carry out attacks.

“The conflict in Syria is very heavily dependent on aerial intelligence. Countries which may not be involved in the direct fighting in Syria, such as Germany, are nevertheless playing a key role in gathering crucial aerial intelligence, which then feeds into lethal strikes by others, primarily the United States.”

Angela Merkel To Be Deported

Although it looks to me like they may have picked the wrong one.

Merkel

Late last year, a Syrian woman gave birth to a girl at a former hospital that had been repurposed into a refugee shelter in Duisburg, Germany. She and her husband had only recently arrived in Germany and wanted to honor their new home. So, they named their daughter Angela Merkel.

But less than a month before the infant’s first birthday, the Al-Hamza family’s future in their adopted country isn’t looking so sure. According to the Bild newspaper, the family was told their asylum application had been rejected by Germany’s Federal Office for Migration and Refugees. Instead, the Al-Hamza family has been offered “subsidiary protection,” a separate legal status that protects people from deportation for an initial period of one year but does not allow them to bring their family to Germany. They may stay longer if they are shown to be working and learning German to a sufficient level.

“There are no indications that the Syrian state puts everyone under general suspicion of belonging to the opposition.”