What This Country Needs Are Stricter Crossbow Control Laws

And knives need to be better regulated too. And bats and clubs and other big chunks of wood. And rocks.

Woman seriously wounded in German school shooting, say police – Bremerhaven pupils barricade themselves in classrooms during attack by man reportedly armed with a crossbow.

German Of The Day: Tatort

That means scene of the crime. But when Germans hear the word, the first thing they normally think of is a TV show.

Tatort began as an experiment aimed at countering dubbed American crime shows’ market dominance and the success of other domestic productions. To take them on, ARD, one of Germany’s public broadcasters, tasked each of its regional affiliates with creating a series of crime shows featuring one of the cities or regions they served—incorporating its unique landscape, architecture, dialect, mentality, and economic characteristics. Each episode would be 90 minutes long—with no commercial breaks!—providing enough time to develop intricate plots set in distinctive environments. Surprisingly—even to the creators of this series—the audiences loved the new formula, and Tatort quickly earned the cult status it enjoys to this day.

Germans are obsessed with crime fiction, so much so that in German, the word Krimi—short for Kriminalroman (crime novel) or Kriminalfilm (crime film)—can also be used as a suffix to describe anything remotely suspenseful, such as a soccer match (Fußball-Krimi), chess competition (Schach-Krimi), or election (Wahl-Krimi).

Germans Still Waiting For More Effective Knife Control Legislation

German authorities are still puzzled by the mysterious deaths of three women who were killed in a knife attack.

They do know that “someone with a migrant background” and his knife were involved in the killings but because neither this someone with a migrant background nor his religion with a migrant background can be held responsible for such unpleasant realities they are now focussing in on the knife itself. “What is needed is more effectiv knife control legislation,” is most likely what German politicians are about to announce.

Germany: Würzburg holds vigil for knife attack victims – At an emotional memorial service, Würzburg mourned the deaths of three women who were killed in a knife attack. With the motive still unclear, officials urged against responding to the attack with “hate and revenge.”

But How Is This Possible?

Germany has some of the strictest gun control laws in the world. And if you manage to get a gun illegally, shooting people is also highly illegal here.

It just doesn’t make any sense. I know! Make the German gun control and shooting people laws even more illegal! Let’s see which political party is the first to demand this, shall we?

German police are searching for a gunman who shot and killed a man and a woman in Espelkamp, a small northern town near the city of Bielefeld.

Police have not hinted at any motive for the shooting, but they say there is no threat to the public…

The popular German tabloid Bild, quoting unnamed sources, says police are now negotiating with the gunman to get him to surrender.

German Of The Day: Betrug

That means fraud.

This is what happens when the government gives something “for free” to the citizens of a country who pride themselves on not being corrupt.

Germany will introduce stricter controls on the administering of coronavirus tests, Health Minister Jens Spahn said on Saturday, after local media reports accused some centres of accounting fraud.

“There will be more random checks,” Spahn said on Twitter. “Pragmatism is necessary these days. Those who exploit that must not be allowed to get away with it.”

Germany offers its citizens at least one free coronavirus test per week, with several federal states providing one free test a day. The state pays 18 euros ($21.94) per test. Many private test centres have been set up in recent weeks.

“Mit etwas krimineller Energie ist gerade sehr viel möglich.” Die Corona-Testzentren sind ein Paradies für Betrüger, sagt der Experte Gunter Lescher. Eine effektive Kontrolle sei derzeit kaum machbar.

If It’s Not Red Tape It’s Red Anarchy

Doing business in Germany 101. Elon Musk may have met his match.

Far-left activists claim responsibility for Tesla factory site fire in Germany – Investigators examining letter from group claiming to be behind fire at Grünheide ‘Gigafactory’ site.

“Tesla is neither green, ecological nor social.”

Berlin Is Only Number Two?

When it comes to its share of the 25,000 fraudulent coronavirus aid rip-offs discovered so far in Germany?

Fraud

This city is so corrupt that even its fraudsters are second-rate.

COVID aid: Germany uncovers over 25,000 cases of fraud – Germany’s coronavirus aid efforts have been plagued by fraudsters from the start. Authorities have warned that they’ve only just begun to scratch the surface.

More than a quarter of the current cases stem from Germany’s most populous state, North Rhine-Westphalia — with over 4,600 concrete cases logged so far.

Berlin has the second-highest number of cases, with 2,600, followed by the southern state of Bavaria with 1,500.

How To Identify Hackers

They always wear dark leather gloves while hacking.

Gloves

And they also knock out the wrong news organizations. Hasn’t anybody ever told them about CNN, the New York Times, the Washington Post and all the rest?

Germany: ‘Colossal’ cyberattack knocks out Funke news group – Hackers knocked out one of Germany’s biggest news organizations over the Christmas holiday. Such criminal attacks, which often come with ransom demands, have become a lucrative business model.

I Guess This Guy Was Just Fed Up With People

Personally, I find that calling someone a “cannibal” is politically incorrect and highly offensive. These days, one should refer to them as “humanitarians.”

Cannibal

German police have arrested a 41-year-old man on suspicion of cannibalism after they found human bones stripped completely of flesh in a Berlin suburb.

Berlin prosecutors said Friday they are “investigating at full speed to shed light on the sexual murder with suspicion of a cannibalistic background”.

PS: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner? The cold shoulder.

Not Just The Italian Mafia

Any kind of international crime organization you want sees Germany’s justice system as a joke.

Mafia

Italian mafia sees German justice system as ‘a joke’ – The Italian mafia has hundreds of members in Germany pulling strings in the international drug trade. The latest major trial shows how lengthy legal procedures and lenient verdicts are no match for organized crime.

“Our prosecution system is a joke for mafia groups. In the mafia, they price this in — they expect to face trials and even convictions. But the penalties threatened in Germany are laughably mild. They’re not a deterrent. The mafia isn’t bothered by them.”