“Nothing beats grilled octopus.”
“Throw him in the frying pan!”
“Cut him up in thin slices and grill him on all sides with a dash of lemon juice, olive oil and garlic on it. Delicious!”
“Die Scheißkrake hatte Recht.”
Tag Archives: Humor
From one hell hole to the next
Wow. This is going to help Obama a lot.
After long, real long, way long deliberation, Germany has finally decided to magnanoumously accept two (2) infamous inmates from the infamous US-American Guantanamo Bay detention camp. They’re going to get locked up here in the infamous German hell hole of Rhineland-Palatinate, however. But still.
Or at least one of them is going to get locked up there, I should say. The other guy gets to go to Hamburg – for a hell hole of a good time.
Luckily for the inamates, they don’t speak any German and have no idea what or where they’re headed to – not just yet.
“It took so long because we had to conduct our investigation responsibly.”
Aus der Traum
It’s all over. Pack it up and go home, Germany.
Paul the Psychic Octopus says you’re going to lose against Spain tomorrow night.
It ain’t over till it’s over, but it’s over.
Oh, another German crocodile
You know, like this one.
Or this one.
Or maybe this one here.
Don’t ask. Germans are always finding crocodiles in their rivers and lakes that aren’t actually there. It’s just what they do. You know, an annual ritual kind of thing. Usually in the summer. When it’s hot. Kinda like it is now.
Daraufhin machte sich die Polizei mit dem Boot auf die Suche nach den Echsen. Ohne Ergebnis.
Change has come to Germany
Not yet.
According to a Swiss study entitled “Germany Report 2035”, if the demographically challenged German nation does not modernize it’s act real pronto – raising the retirement age, letting in more immigrants, putting more women to work and increasing the number of hours worked each week – the country’s average annual growth rate will only reach an anemic 1 percent over the coming 25 years.
So hey, the change that’s about to happen here is going to start spinning everybody’s heads, right? Right.
Besides, this is a Swiss report.
Die Zahl der Arbeitsfähigen sinkt um mehr als acht Millionen.
Another reason to like Germany’s national team
(And they haven’t even beat Argentina yet) German neo-Nazis don’t like them.
For neo-Nazis it is next to impossible to back a team that includes players with names like Boateng, Özil or Podolski. This German national team is the most ethnically diverse ever, celebrated widely as finally being representative of the wider German society. But to the far right, a squad where 11 of the 23 have migrant backgrounds is no longer really German.
“The black-red-gold flag that attaches itself to the Federal Republic of Germany is not the flag of the German nation! Whoever proudly waves that flag is supporting the exact opposite of what is really German and national.”
Don’t cry for me Argentina
Punch me instead. Can’t wait for this weekend’s brawl, I mean match.
“Bastian said what he said. We know South Americans are impulsive and temperamental and cannot lose.”
Let Paul do the Wahl
So when are the Germans going to make up their minds here? The third try’s the charm, I guess.
Get it over with already and let Paul the Psychic Octopus decide.
Why doesn’t anybody want to become German?
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the Germans don’t want them to become German.
What a surprise again (not). Fewer and fewer migrant types are interested in becoming German citizens and this is, well, shocking or something – and bound to make most Germans who hear about it happy as larks.
Just the other day they had a great story in the news which was swiftly swept under the rug (I thought it was practical joke again); a group of German politicians suggested giving IQ tests to those interested in becoming German citizens. Makes a lot of sense. If you stop and think about it for a second, I mean. Pitiful. And funny as hell at the same time.
“Böhning hat das Gefühl, dass das Einwandern erschwert werden solle.”
Women and elephants and…
Fußball fans never forget.
“Some (Germans) have even got religious about it, praising the god of football for handing down divine justice in the form of a blatant referee error that robbed England of a crystal-clear goal on Sunday. At last, commentators say, Germany has been avenged for 1966, when England had a goal wrongly allowed in the legendary World Cup final at London’s Wembley stadium, which England won 4:2.”
Observing Hermann 