Tag Archives: Satire

I like this guy

August 23, 2010 By in Helplessness, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

He’s so… German. You know, so provocative? I mean so Besserwisser-like (know-it-all) provocative? And in this case it’s all the more provocative because he’s provoking other Germans. You may not agree with everything this guy has to say, but it’s hard not to like someone who so clearly bends over backwards to be poltitically incorrect. And this is somebody from the SPD, mind you.

German Central Bank board member and former Berlin finance boss Thilo Sarrazin is now bringing out a book called “Germany is Abolishing Itself” in which, among other things, he warns of foreign infiltration/domination in Deutschland (wow, that’s a new one) – only this time of the Muslim kind. Yikes. The International Jewish Conspiracy is an established fact. But now the freakin’ Muslims are moving in? Like, I had no idea.

Die reine Lust an der Provokation treibe ihn zu „immer fragwürdigeren und menschenverachtenden Aussagen.“

Vacation Nation

August 22, 2010 By in Habitudes, Heconomy Tags: , , , , , , , 4 Comments

At least they waited until the vacation season was over. In what can only be seen as an attempt to stage a hilarous end of summer practical joke, the spokeswoman for a small business entrepreneur association has actually suggested that Germans go on vacation too much and that they should cut their annual leave time down from six weeks to four.

Cutting vacation time in Germany? Hardy, har, har. That’s a good one.

Es gibt Themen, bei denen verstehen die Deutschen keinen Spaß.

If Google won’t get you, Facebook will

August 19, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just when Germany thought it was finally getting Google under control (sort of), freakin’ Facebook comes along with a brand new service that will be able to locate mobile Facebook Germans faster than you can say hide-and-seek.

Of course Facebook Places users would have to want to use this service first and sign up for it and all that, but what’s that got to do with it? It’s the principle of the matter – I think.

After all, even if German Facebook users would want to be found by others they shouldn’t be allowed to be, because… Well, should they? What happens then?

This is really starting to get diabolical, I tell you. I think it’s the Brain Police.

Die Frage “Wo bist du?” wird man wohl künftig immer seltener hören.

I dunno, German vacationers must have left it here or something

August 18, 2010 By in Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As you know, Germany is greener than green. I mean, they ought to rename this place to New Greenland already.

And one of the reasons Germany is so green is that they take very, very good care of their garbage. They seperate it into different piles and clean it and recycle some of it and then incinerate the rest with green energy generated by coal-burning power plants (their coal here is green too).

And the stuff they don’t get around to they ship off to Brazil. Illegally, I mean. Well, they did this time. Brazilian authorities, green with anger, have now asked Germany to take it back please.

“Der Verstoß gegen internationale Abkommen ist ein Affront gegen die Unterzeichnerstaaten und in diesem Fall eine Missachtung Brasiliens und der brasilianischen Gesellschaft.”

Volunteers of America, OK

August 13, 2010 By in Helplessness, History Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

But volunteers of Germany? Good luck.

German Defense Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg is moving ahead with reform plans to reduce the Bundeswehr to 165,000 soldiers, effectively turning it into a volunteer army.

This is a controversial move in Germany because, well, every move in Germany is a controversial move. OK, OK. At least the ones that have to do with the military are.

But like who cares? It’s not as if this new professional German army is ever going to be used for military purposes either. Not unless everybody volunteers to, that is. And how likely is that?

Künftig sollen nur noch freiwillige Rekruten eingezogen werden: Die Planer rechnen mit 7500 Freiwilligen pro Jahr.

Too ostentatious

August 12, 2010 By in Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Charity schmarity. German super-rich types aren’t fooled a minute by any of this “giving pledge” nonsense put forward by Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Co.

Any billionaire can agree to give away half of his/her money to charity. But that’s beside the point, the German super-rich say. It’s all about the principle of the matter, you see (and who should know more about principles than the filthy rich, right?).

German upper crusties think that giving so-called donations shouldn’t replace duties that would be better carried out by the German state. That said state takes in comparatively little from said crusties is another matter altogether, but still. We’re talking about principles here.

“For most people that is too ostentations.”

Street View II

August 11, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 11 Comments

Or 2.0? The saga continues. Pack your canned goods and potable water, Germany. Street View is coming doch (after all).

But this time you don’t have to worry about lack of privacy and criminal abuse and all that stuff. This time it’s going to be a German kinda Street View thang.

Not only will the faces of individuals and license plates and street addresses be blurred out, German Street View is going to blurr out the houses and the streets, entire neighborhoods, cities, mountains, lakes and streams and other prominent geographical landmarks including some of our planet’s smaller oceans too – but they were kind of blurry to begin with anyway, so there.

People can also ask to have images of their homes removed from the database starting next week – a move aimed at dispelling privacy fears.