Category Archives: Hard Facts
What, me worry?
When it comes to fussing and worrying, one country in Europe stands out far ahead of all the others. No, not Monaco.
It’s Germany, of course. Statistically speaking, Germans have on average 3.2 worries to worry about each and every day. The French and the Austrians are worried too, but they’ve only got 2.3 worries available.
The Swedes only have 1.1. And I bet 1.0 of those is worrying about the bottle not running out. Hardy, har, har.
„Auffällig ist dieses Jahr, dass die Zahl der Sorgen, die genannt werden, praktisch explodiert.“
Germans still leaving the country
721 000 folks moved to Germany last year, 734 000 left. That’s 13 000 in the red, which is kind of a lot, I guess (especially when you consider the birth rate here these days), but at least it’s less red than the 43 000 in the red the year before, which is good, I guess.
So what does all this mean? Hell if I know. Give the people what they want or something and then they’ll stay. Or maybe they won’t. Hard to say for sure.
Besonders beliebt sind die Schweiz und USA.
This really is alarming
Word is out that every fourth baby born in Germany is born of foreign parents. You know what that means, don’t you?
Three quarters of the babies born here have German parents! Holy Scheiße, this has got to stop.
Von den rund 683.000 Neugeborenen des Jahres 2008 hatten rund 159.000 oder 23 Prozent zumindest eine Mutter oder einen Vater ohne deutschen Pass.
Pardon me boy, is that the relegation station?
It ain’t over ’til it’s over, Hertha Berlin.
But it’s pretty much over.
Last season Hertha Berlin was in the running for the Bundesliga title. Now five points below the relegation drop zone and with three highly challenging games ahead of them, relegation seems all but certain.
Berlin on the rise or something
Poor but sexy as it is. Although it doesn’t rule the world yet.
Hey, didn’t they already go through this process once already way back when?
Chief among these emerging contenders is Berlin. Thanks to its quality of life, it was the highest overall riser in the survey, moving from 13th to eighth place.
PS: I even read recently that people are literally just dying to get here. Hardy, har, har.
You can’t depend on ANYBODY these days
Sheesh. Of all folks (or Volks, if you prefer), rumor has it that the Germans are now beginning to lose thier angst about climate change. Now, of all times. Where angst is in the air and everywhere, I mean (they’re scared of freakin’ daylight savings time for crying out loud).
According to a Spiegel survey – and Spiegel Leser wissen mehr (Spiegel readers know more) – only a piddly 42 percent of Germans lose sleep at night anymore when it comes to global warming. Pitiful, people.
Come on, now. Get with the plan, Volks. Boo! Or something.
Heute hält jeder dritte Deutsche die Prognose der Klimaforscher, nach der es langfristig immer wärmer wird, nicht für zuverlässig.
More Internet Angst
Germany is still not the “digital society” some of you might assume it must be.
An organization called Initiative D21 just broke down Germany’s predominantly technophobic Internet angst population into several angst making groups:
The “digital outsiders”, 35% of the population, are actually frightened by computers and refuse to touch them.
The “occasional users” with 30% will actually use Internet technology from time to time but don’t ask them to work with it regularly or deal with things like Excel (I feel their pain about Excel, I must say).
The “digital pros” with 12% gladly work with Excel and even do PowerPoint, although I wouldn’t know why they would want to.
“Trend users” go further and even build websites and spend why too much time online – on the couch.
Then there’s the “digital avant-garde”, 3% of the population, the real sick puppy techno Internet freak types.
Personally, I don’t know what’s more worrisome; the first or the last group.
Die Deutschen sind immer noch Internet-Muffel
Ein Bombengeschäft
A bomb of a business, a roaring trade, a gold mine. And the same procedure as every year.
“Germany Now World’s Third Largest Arms Exporter.” Now? Been that way for years, folks. Get used to it already.
Pacifists. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
“When it comes to arms exports, few will be surprised that the US tops the list.”
What’s that guy with the knife want?
Talk about your cruelty to animals.
First rejected by his mother, then seperated from his ersatz father-keeper at a tender age while getting gawked at by quadrillions of annoying zoo visitors (he was even forced at gunpoint once to take a Vanity Fair cover shot with Leonardo DiCaprio), then turning from a cute and cuddly baby to a grungy teen right there where everybody could watch, then forced to marry a blood relative who doesn’t even speak proper German (they call her Giovanna).
So now? Poor Knut, Berlin’s own. Now German animal rights activists want to cut off his family jewels. Word is that “if they (he and Giovanna) were allowed to breed, the offspring would be prone to genetic abnormalities and liable to illness.”
I’m sure that Knut is wondering now if they couldn’t just be good friends. Unfortunately, he can’t talk.
“A long-term cohabitation between Giovanna and Knut is only feasible if Knut is castrated.”
Observing Hermann 