Don’t The French Have A Hate Speech Law?

This could never happen in Germany. Not anymore. It’s simply too, too… Too hateful.

Women

French movie star Catherine Deneuve and other prominent French women say men are being unfairly targeted by sexual misconduct allegations and should be free to hit on women.

This #metoo hysteria is, well, hysterical. Think Hollywood show the other night (I won’t say which one). You know, the girls in black? Isn’t it strange, folks? Since when did so-called liberals get to become so puritanical?

“Women are sufficiently aware that the sexual urge is by its nature wild and aggressive. But we are also clear-eyed enough not to confuse an awkward attempt to pick someone up with a sexual attack.”

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He Opened The Door For Me

“And this other creep said he liked my new Frisur (hairstyle).”

Sex

German men would never do that, of course. They just grab knees and do other more direct kind of sexually harassing stuff like that. And they’re apparently pretty fleißig (diligent) at it, too.

One in two women in Germany has experienced some form of sexual harassment, a new YouGov survey showed. The poll comes amid global outrage over sexual assault allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein.

Only one in two? No way. I get globally outraged myself just reading that. Why don’t they just print the truth as it is meant to be and say that all German women have been sexually harassed (or at least all of them will have been very soon – we’ve only got two hands, ladies) and just move on already. To the next global outrage, I mean.

“In 20 years of show business I’ve never been sexually harassed by a man. But that is probably because I find sexual advances from men basically enjoyable and see them as compliments, not as harassment.”

Right-Wing Leftie? Left-Wing Rightie?

Let’s call the whole thing off.

Sahra

Here is another tough, emancipated woman in action. Left party crazy Sahra Wagenknecht just heuled (cried) her way through her latest power struggle to stay on top – of her party, of course (they wanted to calm her down a bit because she was going too far right and starting to sound like regular folks on the street – with regard to refugees, for instance).

But how did she do it? By pouting and getting all teary-eyed and hysterical and howling about being mobbed and threatening to resign and leave the party if she didn’t get her way. Wow. I never saw a woman pull that one before. How refreshing. Somebody has to be a trend setter, I guess.

Kipping legt gegen Wagenknecht nach: “Souverän geht anders.”

 

The Next Giant Leap For Womankind

Peeing standing up. And people like you said it couldn’t be done.

Urinals

The future will be taking place right here in Berlin, too. If Berlin’s breathtakingly progressive left-wing coalition government can succeed in pushing their zukunfstweisend (forward-thinking, groundbreaking) “toilet concept” through, that is.

It’s a common problem when you’re out and about. Nature calls – but the queue for the ladies is bladder-testingly slow to advance. Meanwhile your male companion waltzes in and out with what often feels like unfair speed. Now, the Berlin city authorities plan to address the issue of gender equality in public toilets, as they seek to redevelop the city’s conveniences. All locations that currently have a male-only “pissoir” (public urinal facility) should only exist in combination with unisex toilets, a 99-page city strategy paper called “the toilet concept” concludes.

Today the urinals, tomorrow the, I dunno, jock straps. Womankind marches on.

Hat das rot-grüne Berlin keine anderen Probleme?

German Of The Day: Unmutsbekundungen

That means protest. In this particular case it means hissing, however.

Ivanka

But as far as I can tell, this has something to do with moving forward the cause for women or womanhood or femaleness or whatever. So it’s necessary or something.

Ivanka Trump defended her father at a women’s panel in Berlin Tuesday after attendees hissed and booed when she attempted to champion her father’s commitment to women’s issues.

„Einige Sichtweisen ihres Vaters über Frauen in der Vergangenheit lassen es fraglich erscheinen, wie er Frauen wirklich stärken will.”

Women These Days

After insulting Western men for years by always insisting upon wearing those God-awful pantsuits, Germany’s defense minister Ursula von der Leyen has forthwith joined the chore of uppity women who now go out of their way to insult Saudi men by not wearing a hijab.

hijab

“The right to choose your own clothing is a right shared by men and women alike,” the snooty German visitor announced in Riyadh. “It annoys me, when women are to be pushed into the Abaya.”

One so-called man then took a hijab at her by tweeting: “The German Defense Minister is wearing that pantsuit in Saudi Arabia deliberately. And everywhere else she goes, too. This is an outrage and an insult to us all.”

“The German Defense Minister: not wearing the hijab in Saudi was deliberate. This is an insult to Saudi Arabia.”

Can I Just Grab Your Crotch Instead?

Teachers in Germany have set off a national controversy after they boycotted their own school’s leavers’ ceremony in protest at a Muslim pupil who refused to shake hands with a female member of staff.

Hamburg

“We are considering how we can send a signal that we do not tolerate such behavior.”

Veil, What Will They Think Of Next?

Veiling German women? What a tremendous waste of natural resources that would be.

Veils

German Justice Minister Heiko Maas (SPD) said the move to ban ads which “reduce women or men to sexual objects” is an attempt to create a “modern gender image”.

The important thing to note here folks are the three letters S, P and D. Support for Germany’s Social Democratic party has now slumpted to an all-time historical-like low (around 20 percent). But now, at the very latest, we at least understand why.

The plan has been called political correctness gone mad by its critics, who said it was the first step towards a “nanny state”. It comes following a controversy over claims made by a senior politician that schools and canteens in Germany are ‘banning’ the serving of pork to avoid offending Muslim migrants.

“To demand the veiling of women or taming of men, is something known among radical Islamic religious leaders, but not from the German minister of justice.”

We’ve Come A Long Way, Baby

Landshut – A desperate mother called the police in Landshut because her seven-year-old daughter refused to go to bed. It had come to a heated argument between the two, the police reported, during which the girl insulted her mother and threw various objects at her. Once the 28-year-old got to the end of her rope she alerted the police. The officers calmed down the flared tempers. After a “tooth brushing under official supervision,” a policewoman brought the girl to bed.

Police

Landshut – Eine verzweifelte Mutter hat in Landshut die Polizei gerufen, weil ihre siebenjährige Tochter nicht ins Bett gehen wollte. Es kam zu einem heftigen Streit zwischen den beiden, wie die Polizei mitteilte. Dabei beleidigte das Mädchen die Mutter und bewarf sie mit verschiedenen Gegenständen. Als sich die 28-Jährige nicht mehr zu helfen wusste, alarmierte sie am Abend die Polizei. Die Beamten beruhigten die erhitzten Gemüter. Eine Polizistin brachte das Mädchen nach «einer Zahnreinigung unter amtlicher Aufsicht» ins Bett.

Pepper Spray’s Scarce These Days

As you all well know, Germans don’t do guns (unlike uncivilized American types). They are a peace-loving, law-abiding Volk.

Pepper Spray

But hot diggity damn do they ever love buying pepper spray! Some would say da liegt der Hase im Pfeffer (the rabbit’s in the pepper) = And that is crux of the matter.

A spate of hundreds of sex assaults allegedly committed mostly by North African men on New Year’s Eve in Cologne has sparked an “explosion in sales” of pepper spray and non-lethal guns, German officials and an industry chief said.

Authorities are investigating more than 670 criminal complaints — almost 350 of them sexual offenses — after hundreds of women were groped and robbed by groups of men outside the main railway station in the western city.

“Die Verkäufe von Pfefferspay sind seit Sommer 2015 angestiegen. Momentan verkaufe ich an einem halben Tag so viele wie sonst in zwei Monaten, 30 bis 50 Stück können da schon mal über den Tresen gehen.”