German Vocabulary of the Day

Alleingang: Going it alone.

Although every German knows that things go invariably terribly wrong whenever Germans do this (go it alone), they sometimes simply just can’t help themselves (think the recent UN Libya resolution episode, for instance) and let this atavistic throwback throw them back to behavior (misbehavior) they will bald (soon) regret. For the latest case in point see Ausstieg.

Ausstieg: This means to exit, phase-out. Germans are the born Aussteiger (exit-ers or escapists), but this is getting ever harder and harder for them to do. Executive Director Nobuo Tanaka of the International Atomic Energy Agency, IAEA (not IKEA), for instance,  has warned Germany about going their nuclear phase-out alone (see Alleingang). Germany’s policies here affect all of Europe, he says, and “it’s not about a German problem, it’s an overall European problem.”

Blackout: This means blackout. German power companies are now warning that should the Ausstieg and Alleingang described above be implemented too quickly and too efficiently (a grave possibility in Germany), they will not be able to guarantee an uninterupted power supply for their customers in Southern Germany during the so-called “winter” months.

Die Netzfirmen warnten, wenn nur die im Zuge des Atom-Moratoriums stillgelegten Alt-Meiler weiter vom Netz blieben, fehlten an kalten Wintertagen in Süddeutschland etwa 2000 Megawatt Leistung.

This New-Fangled EBOOK Nonsense Ain’t Never Gonna Happen Here

Not in Germany it ain’t. No way. It’s, uh, I dunno. It’s just plain wrong. It’s too American or something.

Let Amazon & Co. sell all the damned ebooks they want to over yonder (currently 105 ebooks for every 100 printed at Amazon), we’re sticking to tradition and our traditional fixed book prices (this protects our culture somehow) and the unfair taxation and the measly 0.5 percent ebook sales of total volume of books sold in Germany (sure we only got around to introducing the Kindle here just a few weeks back, but still).

Remember this: Germans don’t read ebooks.

And remember this too: Television had no future (radio pioneer Mary Somerville) and the world only needed five computers at most (IBM president Thomas J. Watson).

Verlage und Buchhandlungen in Deutschland sind zögerlich, weil die Investitionen hoch und die Gewinnspannen niedrig sind und es außerdem mal wieder Streit um die Mehrwertsteuer gibt: Während gedruckte Bücher einem ermäßigten Satz von sieben Prozent unterliegen, sind es für E-Books 19. Und bis das ausdiskutiert ist, wird vermutlich auch Amazon.de mehr E-Books als Bücher verkaufen. Denn in Deutschland wurde der Kindle ja erst vor vier Wochen eingeführt.

These photos should not be made public!

You know, the photos proving how Star Trek Special Operations were in fact the ones who killed Osama Bin Laden. But it’s too late now. The Katze is out of the bag.

Someone at German news channel N24 who needs to have his enthusiasm curbed accidentally spilled the beans by actually producing the official logo of the “Star Trek Maquis Special Operations Seals Team VI” (one nasty bunch of 24th century terrorists), the real culprits behind bin Laden’s death, as we now know. Take him out and phaser him.

That explains why the helicopters were so quiet and stuff.

Closer inspection of the logo obtained by N24 should have turned up the notion that the skull is a little on the Klingon side.

Speaking of Deep Space

And being that the US “now acts indifferently vis-á-vis sovereign states not only in a global but in an orbital fashion,” I couldn’t help but think of this terrifying (and up until now top secret) example of American hi-tech technology (I don’t really know why I couldn’t help but think of it, however).

Remember: Robot Monster stalks the earth to destroy humanity.

Overwelming, electrifying and baffling or something.

PS: Whatever happened to Fukushima?

Looft-shif-TEHK’-nik

Is nothing sacred anymore? Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co. says it will team up with Germany’s ZLT Zeppelin Luftschifftechnik to build three new blimps beginning in 2013.

Goodyear’s CEO says updating the fleet will “assure that future generations will be able to experience the joy of seeing a Goodyear blimp gracing the skies.”

The airships will be built by Zeppelin and Goodyear teams at Goodyear’s airship hangar near Akron.

Horror Scenario?

10 euros a month tops? For a “turbo” phase-out of atomic energy in Germany?

According to the Spiegel, that’s what “almost all” German citizens would be willing to pay to get out of the tsunami-plagued industry pronto (German tsunamis are indeed rare, but still). And they mean 10 euros a month per German household, by the way, not for the whole country.

That certainly is reassuring (sort of) after hearing all these Horrorszenarien (horror scenarios) being circulated out there by crackpot organizations like the Federal Association of German Industry (BDI) these days. They warn, for instance, that a quick German nuclear power halt could raise electricity prices here by as much as 30 percent (that would be more than 10 euros a month I think, but still).

I am sure that “almost all” German citizens would be willing to shell that out too.

But, then again, I am also sure that invading reptilian humanoids disguised as human beings are secretly controlling the fate of the human race.

Es darf nichts kosten (it just can’t cost anything).

PS: Thanks for the link, Joe.

No good NIMBY-pamby protesters!

Are we having an energy revolution yet?

Although there is a long way to go before construction can begin on the high-voltage transmission lines, the “regional resistance” that the experts colored on their map has already begun to materialize.

There are obstacles everywhere. Either the landscape is so densely populated that it is poorly suited for big infrastructure projects, or it is so devoid of people that it should be preserved precisely for this reason.

The tactics of the power-line opponents are simple and perfectly understandable. The more arguments that can be presented against the project, the more likely it is that the future route will run further away from one’s own community and closer to the neighboring village instead.

Fortunately for the opponents, German law offers plenty of ways to keep the power masts at a good distance.

Saving birds and bats from the power lines, protecting gliders, a festival of bureaucracy. It’s all here, people.

iPhone 4 To Fill Street View Paranoia Market Niche

Now that Google has lost interest in continuing its Street View service in Germany, a lucrative privacy paranoia market niche has opened in that country.

Although unable to meet the demand completely, Apple’s iPhone 4 has volunteered to jump into the breach until something more sinister comes along. Some users have reported that the phone, not unlike Google’s Street View, sometimes takes secret photos of them. You know, without their expressed written permission and all that?

Macht das iPhone 4 heimlich Fotos?

German Streets Not Worth The View

With German streets offering such a blurry mess wherever you look these days, and apparently tired of driving an uphill battle ever since it began taking Street View shots in Germany, Google has now decided to opt out of the German Street View service itself.

Despite winning a Berlin State Supreme Court ruling last month confirming that Street View was legal here, the company’s priorities “have simply shifted” and it will now pursue activities in Germany that do not constitute such a royal freakin’ pain in the ass.

It remains to be seen just how Google’s Street View situation will affect similar street-based mapping services in the region, including the impending “Streetside” program from Microsoft’s Bing.

Funnel Payments Stopped Despite Iranian Pledge

Despite Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s repeated pledge to Germany that Iran’s nuclear program is being used for energy only and that he would reveal any future secret Iranian nuclear site plans “as soon as he became aware of them,” a spokesman for the German government says that the deal to funnel oil payments from India to Iran through Germany’s central bank has been scrapped.

Enraged by this sudden change of heart, Mr. Ahmadinejad asked the Germans “But what about my promise to give 60-days notice before unleashing any surprise attacks on Israel using the missiles that we almost certainly do not have, to the best of my recollection? Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Washington has questioned Germany’s resolve to enforce sanctions given its strong trading links with Tehran.