Category Archives: High Art

Schroeder sabotages ex-wife’s near second fifteen minutes of fame

April 22, 2010 By in High Art Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Gerd “it wasn’t me” Schroeder is at it again.

As if driving around Hannover with the drunken church lady (and getting her fired) and planting 250 kilo bombs in Berlin wasn’t enough already, now he’s somehow managed to sabotage his ex-wife’s next shot at fame by getting her to slip on something and fall while she was doing her dance on what I assume must be the popular TV show “Let’s Dance.”

Anyways, she’s busted her knee and is out of the competition. And she coulda been a contender too. It just ain’t right. Damn. This Schroeder guy needs to get a job.

“Nur einmal durfte Hillu Schwetje, Ex-Gattin des Ex-Bundeskanzlers Gerhard Schröder in der RTL-Show “Let’s Dance” das Tanzbein schwingen.”

The Hoff has just entered the Hof

April 8, 2010 By in High Art Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

It’s comeback time again already. And what better place to start than in Germany? And what better place to start in Germany than on the famous/imfamous (take your pick it’s both) Musikantenstadl show.

After years and years of fame and fame and then a WHOLE lot of boozohla, actor-singer-song-writer-robotic-car-driver-lifeguard-you-name-it-dude David Hasselhoff himself is going to give Germany the first taste of his latest soon-to-be hit, “This Time Around” (This Time A Round?).

He’s supposedly off the wagen and all but, uh, then why the hell did he pick the Musikantenstadl to start his comeback with? But then again on the other hand that’s better than ending up there I guess. Or, hold on, wait a minute…

Musikantenstadl, Samstag, 24. April, ARD

She swims faster than we skate?

March 1, 2010 By in Hard Facts, High Art Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

On the ice, I mean.

And then they go on for the gold, yet again. Damn. I think this was another sinister German conspiracy again, although I haven’t quite figured out how it works yet.

Somehow she had crossed the finish line 0.23 seconds before the last American, Nancy Swider Peltz Jr.

PS: And nice hockey match there last night Canada. Not. Doch.

A language of ideas?

February 25, 2010 By in High Art, History Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

German? Whose idea was that? Keine Ahnung. A language of ideas maybe, but not of very much action.

Anyways, according to man-spricht-Deutsch-Guido Westerwelle, German “is the key to more than 350 German universities and colleges, to Europe’s largest economy. It grants access to German literature, music, philosophy, and science, to the wealth of great European cultural traditions and, not least, it is the key to realizing one’s own goals and ideas.”

That’s true, I guess. Sort of. But let’s be honest, Guido. German is also the key to more than 350 German universities and colleges that nobody wants to attend, it grants access to German literature that nobody wants to read anymore, to German music that, well OK (the old stuff was pretty good) and to German philosophy that’s not much more than high speed mysticism if you ask me (which you’re not). I don’t know what German science is so I’ll just assume that it’s really cool. And if you have to learn German just to know what your own goals and ideas are, then they’re probably not worth knowing in the first place. But maybe that’s just me.

“In Deutschland ist es üblich, dass man Deutsch spricht.”

Why are they booing?

February 19, 2010 By in Habitudes, High Art, History Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

And what are they booing?

The first movie? The big-budget remake with a message because it wasn’t low-budget enough (the movie, not the message)? History?

Or was this flick, like most of the other films that get shown here every year at the Berlin Film Festival, was it like, well, too political? Nah, that can’t be. What’s more political (or politically correct) than the Berlinale?

I know, maybe it was just another really lousy movie. I mean even by Berlinale standards lousy.

“Ein antisemitischer Film, wie wir ihn uns nur wünschen können.”

Teheran has visions of its own

February 17, 2010 By in Habeas Corpus, High Art Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

And it hears voices too, for that matter. But just like with YouTube, it doesn’t do cinematic visions.

Nix Berlinale for you, buddy. The Berlin Film Festival is just too political, I guess.

“We are surprised and deeply regret that a director (Jafar Panahi) who has won so many international prizes has been denied the possibility to take part in our anniversary festival and to speak about his cinematic visions,” Berlinale director Dieter Kosslick said in a statement.

On July 30, Panahi and members of his family were arrested in a Tehran cemetery at an opposition protest in memory of demonstrators killed in street violence after the election.

Fawning reviews are fawning reviews

February 14, 2010 By in High Art Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Despite the, well, you know. Hey, plagiarism was gestern (yesterday). Today they call it mixing.

The publication last month of her novel about a 16-year-old exploring Berlin’s drug and club scene after the death of her mother, called “Axolotl Roadkill,” was heralded far and wide in German newspapers and magazines as a tremendous debut, particularly for such a young author. The book shot to No. 5 this week on the magazine Spiegel’s hardcover best-seller list.

A star is born

February 7, 2010 By in High Art, History Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Actually, it’ll end up being around forty or so later this year. Not terribly original, the idea, but still.

Who needs Hollywood, huh? Marlene Dietrich will be the very first US-Amerikanerin star ever to be immortalised on the streets of her home town on a brand new “Walk of Fame” which will be unveiled during the Berlin film festival this coming week.

Ten stars will be awarded a star each year during the festival festivities from here on out, all with a link to Hollywood, I mean German culture.

Like walk the talk already.

“It’s all about how your body tolerates pain”

February 3, 2010 By in Health, High Art, Higher Education, History Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Anybody can run up the Empire State Building’s 1,576 stairs in roughly ten minutes and sixteen seconds.

But not many would be willing to do it twice. And like five times in a row?

Damn. That takes devotion. Or profound mental instability. Or maybe a little bit of both. But like they say, somebody’s got to do it – whoever they are.

At 10:30 a.m., a loud fog horn sounded to launch a mad dash from the lobby – where Dold grabbed an early lead and never looked down.