America Decides Its Gold Is Safe In German Hands

No, wait. Germany has decided its gold is safe in American hands (I knew it was one of those).


Surging mistrust of the euro during Europe’s debt crisis fed a campaign to bring Germany’s entire $141 billion gold reserve home from New York and London. Now, after politics shifted in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s coalition, the government has concluded that stashing half its bullion abroad is prudent after all.

“The Americans are taking good care of our gold… It’s my view that the gold reserves should be stored wherever they might be needed in an emergency.”

Berlin Is Already Over And Nobody Here Had The Decency To Tell Me

Or at least that’s what one New York Times journalist had to report – after clearly having run into way too many Americans here. And how could that not spell trouble?


The Berlin backlash had to happen sooner or later. No city could be so consistently lauded to the skies for its creative edge, elegant shabbiness, and 24-hour nightlife without eventually coming down with a hard bump. And the bump does seem to have arrived.

…On the international front, the city’s social scene is also getting increasingly Anglophone.

Erschwerend kam hinzu, dass der offenbar aus New York stammende New-York-Times-Autor im Berghain wie auch überall sonst in Berlin ausschließlich auf andere aus New York stammende Menschen gestoßen ist, was die Bedeutung der einstigen Hipsterhochburg für ihn abschließend ruiniert hat; getreu der von dem ebenfalls aus New York stammenden Gegenwartsanalytiker Groucho Marx aufgestellten Maxime, dass er kein Mitglied in einem Club sein möchte, der ihn aufnehmen würde.

More German Goodwill

On a day like today, it’s the thought that counts.

And here is a little summary of what politically correct thinking German intelectuals have to, uh, “think” about the subject (as if you didn’t know already). You might not be able to stomach reading the whole article so I thought a summary would be in order. Some of these observations are really hilarious, by the way, which is kind of inappropriate considering the occasion, but still. So ab geht die Post (here we go)!

This is Bush’s tragic legacy.

9/11 triggered America’s “decline.”

The American superpower has lost the goodwill “the world” gave it after the attacks.

America is now seen as a perpetrator of violence itself (not as a victim, like Germany, for instance).

Before the attacks, America was in full bloom — like Rome at its peak (that comparison with Rome is one of their absolute favorites, as you know — decline, get it?).

America is trapped in Iraq, Afghanistan and in Pakistan (trapped in an embrace with Pakistan?).

“America can no longer even mourn its victims properly because Americans have long been not just victims, but also perpetrators.”

America is a country at war with itself because five percent of Americans buy almost 40 percent of all consumer goods sold in the country (and that’s not even counting what they shoplift).

America has become distrustful, fearful and defensive — against Muslims (who would have thought that? — that could never happen in Germany).

Citizen militias hunt down illegal immigrants.

Americans can still not accept having a black president in the White House.

As to “American exceptionalism,” many things in America are only exceptional because they are exceptionally bad.

The US has become estranged from the rest of the world.

Americans cheered spontaneously on the streets when they heard the news (of bin Laden’s death).

Because of this, the sins of the original victim were brought into focus — America’s sins.

The superpower has only itself to blame.

Have a sad 9/11!


(DSK stands for Dominique Strauss-Kahn) And don’t forget about the DNA, USA and the AL-I-BI part now either.

As Die Welt rightly puts it, this is like something out of a CSI: New York episode. Only much more poorly done. A bit more surreal though, perhaps.

Surreal is actually French, by the way. It means having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream and what on God’s green earth could you have possibly been thinking, buddy?

This is just too weird. And no, I haven’t found a German connection here yet.

Der bislang aussichtsreiche Präsidentschaftsanwärter der französischen Sozialisten sah aus, als sei er durch einen dummen Zufall in eine Folge von „CSI: New York“ hineingeraten.

PS: Thanks for that link, A.K.

“It’s all about how your body tolerates pain”

Anybody can run up the Empire State Building’s 1,576 stairs in roughly ten minutes and sixteen seconds.

But not many would be willing to do it twice. And like five times in a row?

Damn. That takes devotion. Or profound mental instability. Or maybe a little bit of both. But like they say, somebody’s got to do it – whoever they are.

At 10:30 a.m., a loud fog horn sounded to launch a mad dash from the lobby – where Dold grabbed an early lead and never looked down.