Wacko Level Three

It’s gone completely wackodelic, captain. I don’t know how much longer the ship can take it!

Wackodelic

Really enlightened Berlin activists (all activists are enlightened, of course, but you can tell the really enlightened ones by that weird gleam in their eyes) are now instructing us to become shoplifters for humanity. Upset about the conditions under which chocolate, bananas, orange juice and other products are harvested and/or produced, they are calling on us to begin stealing this stuff from our local supermarkets. The money we save by doing so will then be donated to those who deserve it. They mean us thieves are supposed to donate it, of course.

Think of Robin Hood except with a big coat at your local Safeway. Oh, the humanity of it all. It gives me goosebumps. No, wait. That’s a nasty rash. I’m going to run over to Aldi real quick and steal some skin creme or something. For the needy, you know? I’m just sayin’.

Schokolade, Bananen, Orangensaft: Viele Lebensmittel werden unter zweifelhaften Bedingungen hergestellt. Jetzt provozieren Aktivisten mit dem Aufruf, die Waren im Laden zu stehlen – und das gesparte Geld an die Produzenten zu spenden.

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Modern Art For Modern Sensibilities

I know, modern isn’t modern anymore but being a martyr is about as modern as it gets these days.

Art

At least that’s the case at “The Other Eye of The Tiger” art exhibition in Berlin Kreuzberg.

This “martyr museum” places one of the Islamist terrorists responsible for killing 89 innocent people at the Bataclan in Paris next to people like Martin Luther King. One of the artists explains it thus to us dumb folks: One has to differentiate when considering the term martyr, he says. And it always depends on the context. Indeed it does. Always. Even I knew that. How do people get this confused?

Don’t try to understand art, people. Just experience it. Then after you’ve vomited it all out move on to the next exhibition.

Am Ende der Reihe steht Ismaël Omar Mustafaï, einer der Islamisten von Paris, die am 13.?November 2015 im Konzertsaal Bataclan in Paris 89 Menschen ermordeten.

Was This The Same Lady Who Threw Away Somebody Else’s “Installation” At Another Museum A Few Years Back?

An elderly German woman was questioned by police after filling in blank spaces on a crossword puzzle that was being displayed as a work of art at a local museum.

Puzzle

The BBC reports that the 91-year-old woman used a ballpoint pen to write on the work of art titled “Reading-work-piece” by avant garde artist Arthur Koepcke during a senior citizens tour to Nuremberg’s Neues Museum.

If she thought it was rubbish, it means it was. Art should be understood by everyone — including cleaners.

Speaking Of Life Jackets…

Anybody who voluntarily goes to this event needs to be wearing one at the very least. Und zwar (namely) a get-a-life jacket*.

Life Jackets

That’s right. It’s Cinema for Peace time in Berlin again and this year’s theme is, how the hell do I know? Nobody knows. Refugees? Whatever it is it looks like only those with good connections to the cereal industry are allowed to take part this year (same procedure as every year). You know, you’ve got to be either a nut, a fruit or a flake?

Like, what is any of this supposed to mean?

Den Mist mache ich nicht mit, ich kacke ja auch nicht auf den Tisch im Namen der Kunst.

* Space blankets are of course also angesagt (hot) this year.

Been There Done That

US student is rescued from giant vagina sculpture in Germany

Vagina

On Friday afternoon, a young American in Tübingen had to be rescued by 22 firefighters after getting trapped inside a giant sculpture of a vagina.

Police confirmed that the firefighters turned midwives delivered the student “by hand and without the application of tools”.

PS: Speaking of the fighting spirit… Jürgen Klinsmann has promised that his USA team will play to win against Germany in their final Group G match on Thursday, even though a draw would be enough to see both teams through to the knockout phase.

American Archaeologist Adventurer Discovers Secret Nazi Treasure While Searching For Ark Of The Covenant

The art world was stunned yesterday by the discovery in Munich of 1,500 lost works of art by a lone wolf treasure hunting hardboiled detective American patriot archaeologist college professor on a quest, wearing a fedora and carrying a bullwhip.

Art

The mysterious professor, Prof. Dr. Dr. Prof. I. Jones, refused to comment on the find other than to say that his discovery “raises fresh questions about the Nazis’ attitude to the modern art they loved to hate.”

Bei dem spektakulären Kunstfund in München sind 1285 ungerahmte und 121 gerahmte Bilder sichergestellt worden. Darunter befinden sich auch bisher unbekannte Meisterwerke wie ein Selbstbildnis von Dix.