Germans Really Are Industrious

Even when it comes to industrial piracy.

Piracy

German companies are ranked second in the world for industrial plagiarism, a global study released today has found (only China does it better). The numbers indicate that 1 in 4 plagiarized tech goods are made in Germany.

Of course the only problem with this study is that it was made by the the Federation of German Machine and Equipment Builders (or VDMA) so it may have been plagiarized itself.

And no, this wasn’t in the news tonight.

Für den Ideenklau ist oft nicht ein Produzent im fernen China, sondern der Konkurrent um die Ecke verantwortlich.

German Plagiarism Obsession Now Spreading To The Eurovision Eurotrash Music Contest ITSELF

German critics are contending that the cruddy song to be performed by German dance band Cascada at this year’s cheesy Eurovision Song Contest is a crappy rip-off of last year’s worthless winning tune.

Eurovision

Cascada’s awful “Glorious,” they claim, is a cheap immitation of the dreadful “Euphoria” by Loreen.

In terms of beat, vocals and pauses, one critic says, the songs are virtually identical in their atrociousness and consummate lack of anything even remotely resembling musical taste.

“The vocals at the start are completely identical,” he added. “And pretty much indistinguishable in their repulsiveness. The refrain uses the same exact lack of emphasis and fails to work up to a climax in the very same way, too. The singer even uses the same ridiculous breathing style, for crying out loud. Move over to the side there buddy, I think I’m going to puke.”

It certainly isn’t the first time that the German entry has been dogged by such allegations. Previous acts accused of lacking originality include No Angels, Stefan Raab, Ralph Siegel, Texas Lightning and even the angelic-looking Nicole, who won the 1982 Eurovision Song Contest with the song “Ein Bisschen Frieden.”

Pope Latest Victim In Never-Ending German Plagiarism Scandal(s)

Pope Benedict XVI shocked the world by resigning today following allegations in Berlin that his entire bibliography had been plagiarized.

Pope

This is now the four-hundred-and-forty-seventh time in the past two years that a high-ranking German politician and/or Pope has been forced to quit over accusations of cheating on doctoral dissertations and/or religious meditations.

“Wow. We’ve had ministers resign here right and left, like freakin’ flies,” one source near Chancellor Angela Merkel’s government said. “But a Pope? Holy Moley!”

“I’ve accepted his resignation heavy-heartedly,” Ms. Merkel is said to have said.

Fawning reviews are fawning reviews

Despite the, well, you know. Hey, plagiarism was gestern (yesterday). Today they call it mixing.

The publication last month of her novel about a 16-year-old exploring Berlin’s drug and club scene after the death of her mother, called “Axolotl Roadkill,” was heralded far and wide in German newspapers and magazines as a tremendous debut, particularly for such a young author. The book shot to No. 5 this week on the magazine Spiegel’s hardcover best-seller list.