Germany’s turn?

January 28, 2010 By in Heconomy Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

As everybody knows, everything that “goes wrong” in Iran is a direct result of actions carried out by outside provocateurs (the United States and Britain, in other words).

But in a refreshing new turn of events, Iranian officials are now slapping around Germany for once. Germany, of all nations.

No one knows why for sure, of course, but some speculate that “The accusations followed stronger statements against Iran’s nuclear program by German officials, including Chancellor Angela Merkel, who raised the specter of new international sanctions against Iran, and an announcement on Tuesday by the Munich-based engineering giant Siemens that it would seek no new business there.”

Damn. And that’s for just raising a specter, or maybe two. What would happen if the German government ever actually “did” anything to Iran? You know, other than sell them things, I mean.

Wir waren es nicht. Yogi und Ingo sind es gewesen.

Raus already!

January 27, 2010 By in Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

You just knew there had to be a rest of the story about yesterday’s post.

Very peculiar, this German Haltung (position) about sending more troops to Afghanistan. A few weeks ago the Germans were very loud and touchy about not being pushed to commit sending additional troops before the London Conference takes place.

Now – strangely two days before the London Conference begins – Germany makes a big announcement about deciding to send an additional 850 personnel after all. Less sophisticated types like myself might think that they’re speaking with a forked tongue, you know, placing everybody else before vollendete Tatsachen (a fait accompli).

Oh yeah, and the punch line here: At the same time that they announce a troop increase they also announce that they’ll begin bringing everybody home the following year.

That way everybody’s happy, I guess. Nope, no losers here. Who says you can’t please (fool?) all of the people all of the time? Even the Taliban will be pleased to hear about this one.

Afghanistan: Mehr Soldaten – und dann raus

More German troops will be sent to Afghanistan?

January 26, 2010 By in Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

To do what?

“Germany may finally be ready to increase its troop contingent in Afghanistan. A news report says that Berlin might send an additional 500 troops to the war-torn country, despite widespread public opposition to the war.”

“Germany plans to shift its focus further toward training Afghan forces.”

Train them to do what? Certainly not to fight the Taliban. It’s not the number of German troops in Afghanistan that’s the problem (they’re actually going to send an additional 850), it’s the number of things German troops are refusing (or not allowed) to do.

Merkel bereitet Deutschland auf Afghanistan vor.

The Scorpions are thinking about ending their career?

January 25, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Ich nix verstehen (I don’t get it). I thought their career had already been ended for them long, long ago.

But now their latest album will be their last, they promise. Germany’s most successful hard rock band has been at it for some 40 years now (at least) and they’re feeling it or something I guess and enough is enough already. What else ya gonna do, become a Rolling Stone?

Das aktuelle Album soll das letzte sein, die weltweite Tournee soll den Metal-Veteranen als Abschiedsreise dienen.

Who says money can’t buy you love?

January 24, 2010 By in Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

You knew that Germany would come out in support of this one right from the get go. Fighting the Taliban has never been an option for the Germans (no one really seems to know why they’re down there in the first place).

So now it’s like why fight the Taliban when you can finally pull out your checkbook and buy them instead?

Funny, I thought the latest German concern about Afghanistan was all the corruption going on down there, but I guess I was wrong – and I’m certainly no statesman. It looks like the only way to fight corruption is with corruption itself.

Mit Geld will Kabul Taliban dazu bewegen, die Waffen fallen zu lassen.

Metropolis II

January 22, 2010 By in High Art Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

“A full version of Fritz Lang’s 1927 silent expressionist epic was found in Argentina in 2008, and after months of painstaking work, what is possibly Germany’s best-known movie has now been restored to almost its original state.”

“It will be shown at Berlin’s Brandenburg Gate on February 12 as part of the 60th Berlin Film Festival, with simultaneous gala screenings in Berlin and Frankfurt, with an orchestra playing Gottfried Huppertz’s original score.”

Als Fritz Lang 1924 New York besuchte, war er überwältigt. „Allein der Anblick von Neuyork bei Nacht müsste genügen, um dieses Fanal der Schönheit zum Kernpunkt eines Films zu machen“, schrieb er nach seiner Rückkehr enthusiasmiert in einem Berliner Film-Magazin.

Es kommt immer anders als man denkt

January 21, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

It always comes about differently than you expected.

“A Nobel Prize-winning panel of climate scientists who wrote the world’s most authoritative report on global warming have apologised after five glaring errors were discovered in one paragraph.

The errors are in a 2007 report by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, a United Nations-affiliated body.

All the mistakes appear in a sub-section that suggests glaciers in the Himalayas could melt away by the year 2035 – hundreds of years earlier than the data actually indicates. The year 2350 was apparently transposed as 2035.”

All I know is that they’re predicting -23 (centigrade) for Berlin this weekend. I sure hope that this is a glaring error too.

“2035 würden die Himalaya-Gletscher abgeschmolzen sein, warnte der Weltklimarat. Die Prognose fußt womöglich auf einem Zahlendreher – auf keinen Fall aber auf seriöser Wissenschaft.”

Number one again!

January 20, 2010 By in Hard Facts Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

Germany may not be the export champion of the world anymore, but Germans are definitely world champions when it comes to doctor visits per year.

The average German, whoever he is, goes to see his doctor an amazing 18 times per year. A third of those who come in are chronically ill too, or at least think that they are. And the only other nation on earth that comes even close to German sickliness is Japan with thirteen visits a year. No, not for the whole nation, I meant for the average Japanese sick dude.

Makes you wonder. About hypochondria, for instance. And health care systems that somehow encourage this type of thing, for another, Praxisgebühr or not. This German “practice fee” (10 Euros per quarter the visitor has to pay when he/she goes to the doctor’s office) was introduced a few years back in the hope of slowing this madness down, but it obviously hasn’t helped. Being sick is still dirt cheap here, I guess.

Help me man, the German health care system said, I’m sick.

In keinem Land der Welt gehen die Menschen so oft zum Arzt wie in Deutschland.

Who remembers the Uncola?

January 19, 2010 By in Habitudes Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Well the Germans have an Unword, so there. Only they call it Unwort. And this year’s winner (they really mean loser) is Betriebsrastverseucht (works council (think unions)  contaminated).

How shocking or something. This is a real “sprachlicher Tiefpunkt” (linguistic low point), man. Talk about being politically incorrect. Who could ever get the idea that works councils in Germany could ever possibly contaminate anything? Whether they wanted to or not, I mean. Other than the general mood, I mean, which is always pretty lousy here to begin with anyway so like who cares? Just stop and think about it: If there weren’t any work councils here, uh, there wouldn’t be any works councils here. And that would lead to, uh, well, further or even real contamination. The whole nation would become contaminated, so-to-speak. You know, a contamination.

So clean up your act and stop using awful Unwords like that. These are not cola nuts. They`re the other kind.

Die Wahrnehmung von Arbeitnehmerinteressen als Seuche zu bezeichnen, sei ein sprachlicher Tiefpunkt im Umgang mit Lohnabhängigen.