German Soldiers Burning Out Like Flies

October 7, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Health, Helplessness, Hypochondria, Hysteria Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, Bundeswehr, Burn-out, German, Germans, Germany, Hypochondria 2 Comments

And here you thought American soldiers had it bad. Put yourselves in a German soldier’s boots for once already.

It seems that the many Bundeswehr reforms taking place these days (they’re basically cutting the German army down to the size of a large police force which will never be used either) strain German soldiers way too awful much. Particularly “overtime and anxiety about the future” afflict them grievously, I read.

“It is an unprecedented test of severity” for these soldiers and their families, causing frustration, turmoil and exhaustion and… Burn-out! You know, another one of those imaginary disease imports custom-made for German society, or the lack thereof (Burn-out is very fashionable here these days. Just the other day a Bundesliga soccer coach threw in his towel quite publicly. A freakin’ soccer coach?).

And the punch line of this article (which I originally assumed to be of a satirical nature)? Not a word was mentioned about Afghanistan or any possible stress that a German soldier might be experiencing there. I guess that means that it’s less stressful to be a German soldier in Afghanistan than it is to be one back home in Germany.

Although it must be kind of stressful, or at least confusing, being a combat soldier in an army that never takes part in any combat operations even when it is in a war that isn’t really a war because this is Germany and being in wars, although having an army, is no longer provided for. Damn. Just thinking about that has me burning out already.

“Es darf keine Reformverlierer geben.”

Germany Now Prepared To Send Troops To Libya

August 23, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Helections, Helplessness, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, German, Germany, Humor, Libya, Military, Satire, Troops 3 Comments

Maybe. Just maybe. But first let’s wait and see what happens down there. And think this through thoroughly, as usual. Until it’s all over, I mean.

We don’t want to rush headless into this thing, after all. Spineless, maybe, but not headless.

Thanks, Germany or something. They couldn’t have done it without you but did anyway.

Die Bundesregierung wollte sich partout nicht am militärischen Einsatz gegen Oberst Gaddafi beteiligen. Nun zerfällt seine Diktatur – und für Deutschland zeigt sich das ganze Ausmaß dieser Fehlentscheidung.

Military restructuring?

October 27, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Helplessness Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Troops Leave a comment

Ich bin gespannt (I’m dying to know what’ll happen here).

Sure, making the German Bundeswehr more efficient and less bureaucratic sounds like a great idea, at first.

But think it through, people: There are 250,000 troops right now, of which only 10,000 (tops) can ever be deployed at once (not put into real combat situations mind you, not officially anyway, “deployed”). And I’m not joking here with the numbers, by the way.

So what happens when they drop the number of troops down to 180,000? Are we really supposed to believe that once they do the Bundeswehr will “double the number of troops that can be deployed at any one time from 7,000 to 14,000?”

Wer’s glaubt wird selig! (A likely story.)

Volunteers of America, OK

August 13, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Helplessness, History Tags: Berlin, Bundeswehr, Draft, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Satire 1 Comment

But volunteers of Germany? Good luck.

German Defense Minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg is moving ahead with reform plans to reduce the Bundeswehr to 165,000 soldiers, effectively turning it into a volunteer army.

This is a controversial move in Germany because, well, every move in Germany is a controversial move. OK, OK. At least the ones that have to do with the military are.

But like who cares? It’s not as if this new professional German army is ever going to be used for military purposes either. Not unless everybody volunteers to, that is. And how likely is that?

Künftig sollen nur noch freiwillige Rekruten eingezogen werden: Die Planer rechnen mit 7500 Freiwilligen pro Jahr.

We’re not nearly as upset about Task Force 373 as we were last week

August 3, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Hypocrisy Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire Leave a comment

All the Germans who read Der Spiegel (and that’s all the Germans that there are) were selfrighteously outraged upon reading about American Task Force 373 after this latest WikiLeaks revelation thingy last week.

Now it turns out that the German government has been providing names to the hit list used by the unit. Oh boy, oh boy. The outrage that will now follow suit will be even more, well, not all that outrageous really, come to think of it. But still.

It has becomes clear that, even though German elite units such as Task Force 47 were not deployed to deliberately target people, their counterpart, the American special forces unit Task Force 373, which has since been renamed Task Force 3-10, takes on the dirty work and processes the hit lists — in the territory controlled by the Bundeswehr and on the basis of German information, no less.

We surrender already!

April 21, 2010 By Hermann Observer in History, Hysteria Tags: Army, Berlin, Bombs, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Military, Satire Leave a comment

Just stop holding hands and singing We Shall Overcome!

Not even those rugged German army types can take this kind of abuse forever. After years of moaning and sniveling and peaceniking about saving the heath and health of the so-called “Bombodrom” in Kyritz-Ruppiner Heide near Berlin, the Bundeswehr has finally rolled over and decided to close down its infamous military training area.

It had been a shocking Vorgang (course of events) or something. They actually practiced dropping bombs here once, I think. Maybe twice. Fake bombs of course, but still. Damn, where is the Bundeswehr going to drop their fake bombs now?

Bundesverteidigungsminister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU) erklärte in Berlin, die Bundeswehr löse diesen Standort mit seinen 80 Mitarbeitern vollständig auf.

Unprepared and unwilling, understand?

March 16, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Helplessness Tags: Afghanistan, Army, Berlin, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire 1 Comment

Now we know why the Bundeswehr is unprepared for combat. It’s because the Bundeswehr is unprepared for combat (we already knew that they were unwilling).

But at least now it’s official or something. The being unprepared part, I mean. So that way nobody has to feel bad about it or anything, I guess.

Germany’s parliamentary commissioner for the armed forces criticized the country’s support of its soldiers, saying the Bundeswehr lacked the most basic necessities for its missions abroad.

Raus already!

January 27, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Hypocrisy Tags: Afghanistan, Berlin, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Troops Leave a comment

You just knew there had to be a rest of the story about yesterday’s post.

Very peculiar, this German Haltung (position) about sending more troops to Afghanistan. A few weeks ago the Germans were very loud and touchy about not being pushed to commit sending additional troops before the London Conference takes place.

Now – strangely two days before the London Conference begins – Germany makes a big announcement about deciding to send an additional 850 personnel after all. Less sophisticated types like myself might think that they’re speaking with a forked tongue, you know, placing everybody else before vollendete Tatsachen (a fait accompli).

Oh yeah, and the punch line here: At the same time that they announce a troop increase they also announce that they’ll begin bringing everybody home the following year.

That way everybody’s happy, I guess. Nope, no losers here. Who says you can’t please (fool?) all of the people all of the time? Even the Taliban will be pleased to hear about this one.

Afghanistan: Mehr Soldaten – und dann raus

Pull your weight already

January 15, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Afghanistan, Bundeswehr, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire Leave a comment

Or lose whatever weight you may have had, I mean.

Warning: The following is somebody else`s opinion, somebody you will most likely not agree with (oder doch?). Worse still, it`s been taken from a so-called “blog”.

“The heaviest burden in Afghanistan has been borne by the US, UK and Canada. Of the older NATO nations Denmark has played a major role, contributing more troops and taking more casualties as a part of its population than any other continental European nation. However, other Western nations have not pulled their weight at all, with Germany now acting as the problem child of the Western Alliance.

Germany, with the fourth largest economy in the world and a much larger population than the UK, had less than half of the force strength in Afghanistan as the UK. While British forces are committed to the toughest part of the country, the south, and are there to fight, the Germans have stationed their force in the safest part of Afghanistan, the north, and have and surrounded their commitment with numerous caveats restricting when and how their forces might engage in combat.”

“One of the major consequences of the ongoing war in Afghanistan is a very changed understanding of NATO and the dynamics of the alliance.”

Bundeswehr to move north again

April 14, 2009 By Hermann Observer in History Tags: Bundeswehr Leave a comment

After yesterday’s devastating surprise Easter attack on Bundeswehr military vehicles in the southeastern German city of Dresden, German politicians have decided to move all remaining Bundeswehr forces to the more stable northern regions of the country.

Although under pressure by the NATO to station more German combat troops in southern Germany to help fight the German peacenik-led Easter insurgency there, officials maintained that such a risky military presence would simply not be politically viable at this time.

After Easter vacation, Chancellor Angela Merkel is expected to visit German troops stationed at an undisclosed location in the north, provided she can find them of course, and will stress Germany’s strong commitment to reconstruction efforts in that once war-torn country so very long, long, long ago.

“The official could not give details of her movements for security reasons but said she was not expected to travel to Kabul, or Kiel.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Bundeswehr