Germans Pulling For France In Tonight’s Semi-Final

That’s tonight’s France versus Germany match, folks.

France

“Of course there is more at stake than football. France is feeling its economic weakness and it must look on enviously as the whole of Europe becomes more German.”

“A victory over Germany would be far more than a game won. It would be an act of liberation… A strengthened France helps Europe and the Germans.”

“One heart says France has suffered enough, so many dead from terrorism, the economy is in decline, 10 percent unemployment. France needs some solace.”

I haven’t read otherwise so I’m going to go way out on the limb here and bet you that the French are pulling for France tonight, too.

Die Deutschen selbstbewusst, mit einer seit Langem bewährten Führung, erfolgsverwöhnt nach einschneidenden Reformen, die jetzt schon über ein Jahrzehnt zurückliegen. Also: Klinsmann gleich Schröder und Löw gleich Merkel. Die Franzosen hingegen verunsichert und krisenbelastet, mit einer seit vielen Jahren erfolglosen Führung ohne klare Linie. Ihr heutiger Trainer Didier Deschamps, wie Präsident François Hollande seit 2012 im Amt, wechselt so beständig die Systeme auf dem Platz wie sein Präsident die politische Taktik im Élysée-Palast.

German Of The Day: Arbeitslos

That means unemployed. You know, like this loser of a European Football Championship koala oracle at the Leipzig Zoo?

Koala

„Oobi-Ooobi’s” job was to predict the outcome of the German team’s soccer matches and after two big flops in a row they fired his furry Australian ass. Dumb animal You have to perform over here in this part of the world, pal. And there is no such thing as free eucalyptus.

„Der unparteiische Australier zieht die Konsequenzen aus seinen beiden falschen Tipps. Als sportlich fairer Verlierer überlässt er das Orakeln ab sofort den Anderen.“

Confused Green Youth These Days

We all know how the enlightened left detests flag-waving. You know, flag-waving as in “a fallacious argument or propaganda technique used to justify an action based on the undue connection to nationalism or patriotism or benefit for an idea, group or country,” whatever that means exactly.

Greens

But the Greens in Germany have taken this to a new level. Their youth group has called for German soccer fans to leave their German flags at home during the Euro 2006 because, well, “Patriotismus=Nationalismus. Fußballfans Fahnen runter!” That is, Patriotism = Nationalism. Down with those flags, soccer fans!

How do you get to that point where something as harmless as rooting for your national team becomes a sinister act of rabid warmongering? Without using hallucinogenic drugs to get there, I mean.

Flags

“Besser Patriot als ein Idiot.”

PS: I don’t have a German flag handy but good luck with Ukraine tonight anyway, Germany!