Thanks But No Thanks

February 29, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Tax Collectors, Taxation, Taxes, The Euro Crisis, The Euro Zone, The Financial Crisis Leave a comment

Undank ist der Welten Lohn (nothing is so hard as man’s ingratitude).

What were you expecting, Germany? The Greeks have politely but firmly said no to a recent offer made by 160 German tax collectors who were ready, willing and able to fly down to Greece and help their Greek tax collector buddies gather Greek taxes in a more efficient and Teutonic-like manner.

The Greeks may be broke, but they’re not crazy. Not even Germans can stand German tax collectors

Als Begründung müssen die “hart arbeitenden griechischen Beamten” herhalten.

“Tax Advice Mission” Impossible

February 26, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Hard Facts, Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Athens, Berlin, EU, Euro, Euro Zone, Financial Criis, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, Satire, Taxation, Taxes 1 Comment

How about a little more sensitivity here, Greece? Germans are only trying to help.

And it doesn’t look like they’re going to stop trying to help you anytime soon, either. That’s why if they can’t get that “budget commissioner” they proposed to help monitor the Greek government’s (lack of) management of its finances, some 160 German tax collectors have now selflessly volunteered for assignments in Greece to help gather Greek taxes more efficiently. And as you can imagine, when it comes to taxation and tax collection, German efficiency can really hurt.

A recent flurry of acrimonious exchanges between Athens and Berlin reflect deepening doubts among mainly northern members of the 17-nation euro zone about Greece’s ability and willingness to overhaul its economy to satisfy lenders’ demands.

Not With This Chancellor

February 14, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy, Helections, Helplessness, Home Cooking Tags: Berlin, Children, Demographics, Demography, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Politics, Satire, Taxation, Taxes 1 Comment

Five minutes of excitement is better than no excitement at all.

A group of young conservative politicians, concerned about Germany’s catastrophic demographic development (or the lack of it), received less than a warm welcome by their very own Chancellor Angela Merkel herself today: They’re pushing for a tax on the childless, you see.

Although most politicians are normally crazy about raising taxes or introducing new ones, Frau Merkel made it quite clear that the buck (the euro?) stops here. Like practically everybody else in Germany, she doesn’t have any kids, either.

„Ich glaube, die Diskussion der Einteilung in Menschen mit Kindern und ohne Kinder ist hier nicht zielführend.“

Those No Good Greek Tax Evaders!

January 23, 2012 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Hypocrisy Tags: Berlin, EU, Euro, German, Germans, Germany, Greece, Humor, Satire, Tax evasion, Taxes, The Euro Crisis Leave a comment

Greece’s finance ministry has named 4,152 individuals as major tax dodgers that owe the state a combined 14.9 billion euros in unpaid back taxes as part of a campaign to name and shame tax evaders.

And Germany is empört (indignant), as usual. The interesting thing about the list though are some of the Greek names, I find. These are names like Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. They almost sound like, I dunno, like German names. But that can’t be. Germans don’t evade taxes, right? Not unless they live in Greece, they don’t.

Einige der Namen klingen für hiesige Ohren seltsam vertraut: Namen wie Grundmann, Hutter und Elstner. Schulden Deutsche den Griechen Geld?

Speaking Of Government In Action

November 15, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy, Home Cooking Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Government Waste, Humor, Satire, Taxation, Taxes, Waste Leave a comment

Or was it government inaction?

Here’s my personal favorite when it comes to the best (as in worst) cases of German tax revenue negligence for 2011 (so far):

The Bundeswehr stores 227 million rifle cartridges having a combined worth of 116 million euros. At least 40 percent of these cartridges have been stored improperly, however, they are now corroded and can no longer be used and will cost the German taxpayer approximately 46 million euros.

Actually, though, if you think about it, it’s surprising that the Bundeswehr doesn’t have to throw away more corroded ammunition than they already do.

Der Schaden beläuft sich auf 1,5 Milliarden Euro.

Speaking of taxes…

August 31, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes, Heconomy Tags: Economy, Euro, Finance, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Taxation, Taxes 1 Comment

We have now reached the point where folks volunteer, plead to be taxed.

A group of 50 rich Germans has joined the ”tax me harder” movement by renewing their open call to Angela Merkel to ”stop the gap between rich and poor getting even bigger.”

Sure, these particular folks have money to burn. Unfortunately, the taxation never stops with them and does absolutely nothing to fill this “gap” they pretend to worry about. How does giving your money-to-burn to the state so it can burn it for you change anything?

”None of us are in Buffett’s or Bettencourt’s league, most of our wealth is inherited. But we have more money than we need.”

“Imagine that a genie magically appeared and offered to grant you one wish – and, being a decent sort, you wished that everyone’s income would be doubled. That could bring down on you the wrath of the political left, because it would mean that the gap between the rich and the poor had widened. That is basically their complaint against the American economy.”

We will tax them in the brothels, we will tax them on the street, we shall never surrender!

August 30, 2011 By Hermann Observer in Habeas Corpus, Habitudes, Heconomy, Hi-tech Tags: Berlin, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Prostitution, Satire, Taxation, Taxes 2 Comments

This is yet another example of German Steuergerechtigkeit (tax justice) in action.

The city of Bonn has introduced a parking meter for prostitutes working on the street. They are now required to pay 6 euros in tax per night to carry out their trade. And they must show their tickets to tax inspectors sent to check (and some of these guys will check again and again and again). This is only fair or something as the girls in the brothels already have to pay.

Hmmm. Is this a progressive tax or a regressive tax? Is it a corporate tax or more like property tax? It’s not a pole tax, is it? An incum tax?

Es drohen Bußgelder bis zu 100 Euro.

“Egalitarians create the most dangerous inequality of all – inequality of power. Allowing politicians to determine what all other human beings will be allowed to earn is one of the most reckless gambles imaginable. Like the income tax, it may start off being applied only to the rich but it will inevitably reach us all.”

Tax evasion doesn’t pay

February 9, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy Tags: German, Germans, Germany, Government, Humor, Satire, Tax evasion, Taxes Leave a comment

Not unless you live in Germay maybe. Strange. Right in the middle of the latest craze around here these daze (a host of informants are selling stolen data about tax evaders to the German state), a court has ordered a Liechtenstein bank to pay over seven million Euros to a German tax evader “for not informing him on time” that his data had been stolen – thus opening him up to said informants, get it? I know, I don’t get it either, but things are complicated here.

“Had the claimant been informed of the theft in due time, he would have had the option of self-indictment and not have been obliged to pay a EUR7.3 million fine.”

Fair is fair, I guess, or all is fair in love and tax evasion. Or something else maybe. Damn, these Germans and their ill-gotten gains. And this rampant lawlessness seems to be getting out of hand everywhere these days. The next thing you know pensioners will start kidnapping their financial advisers…

The data was stolen and sold on to the German intelligence service by a former employee of former LGT unit LGT Treuhand AG.

It’s not “bank robbery” if the state does it

February 5, 2010 By Hermann Observer in Heconomy Tags: Berlin, Economics, Finance, German, Germans, Germany, Humor, Satire, Swiss bank accounts, Switzerland, Taxes 1 Comment

It’s much more like “skullduggery,” “backstabbing” and “dealing in stolen goods.”

And it’s legal too, of course, even when the information obtained was done so by “less than legal” means.

We’re number one! We’re number one!

May 13, 2009 By Hermann Observer in Habitudes Tags: Taxes 2 Comments

Germany is. When it comes to paying taxes and other public charges, it is. The average German worker, or milk cow if you prefer, shells out much more than any of his counterparts in other countries do, the highest rate of any industrialized country. And this is the case whether you’re a single or a couple or a family here, according to a study by the OECD.

The average single earner here is allowed to keep 48 percent of what he or she earns after all the taxes and dues are in, for instance. But take heart. If you have a lousy job that hardly pays you anything to begin with, you can take home a whole 52.7 percent of what you make.

Well, at least now that this study is out I’m sure that the German government will do something about this gross imbalance and shocking lack of Gerechtigkeit (justice) and, uh, money. For the folks who actually earn it, I mean. But, then again, I’m also sure that the Washington Nationals are going to win the World Series later this year, too.

“Die Armen tragen die größte Last.”

Observing Hermann

“Was interessiert mich mein Geschwätz von gestern?”

Tag Archives: Taxes