Category Archives: History

Dean vs. Reagan?

December 22, 2010 By in History, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

No, not Dean Reed, James Dean.

Although Red Elvis would probably have more supporters here in Berlin’s Senat today if it came to such a bout–and might yet get a street named after him here one day too, which is more than you can say for Ronald Reagan.

What the hell am I trying to get at here, you ask? I don’t know anymore. I seem to have forgotten. Oh, yes. Now I remember.

Germany’s defense minister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg has just called to name a street or a square in Berlin after Ronald Reagan on the 100th anniversary of his birth coming up on February 6.

No big deal, right? Only you must keep in mind that this is red-red Berlin (SPD and the Left Party) and that we are still in the here and now and folks like these don’t even want to commemorate Mr. Tear-down-this-wall-Mr.-Gorbachev’s birthday, much less name a street after him. They only name streets after romantic revolutionary figures like Rudi Dutschke.

Or as zu Guttenberg put it so well: “It would be a welcome event to name a street after this great honorary citizen and provide evidence that red-red gratitude doesn’t have to end with Rudi Dutschke.”

FDP Berlin representative Martin Lindner hastened to add “You are being blind to history and presumptuous not to properly acknowledge this great and steadfast friend of Germany.” Lindner had proposed renaming Berlin’s Central Station’s Washington-Platz in Reagan’s honor back in 2004.

Quite provocative from Guttenberg & Co., I find. They know perfectly well that there’s no way in hell Wowereit and his Linke friends (link can also mean deceitful in German, by the way) would ever allow themselves to stoop to honoring such an über-Feindbild (longstanding mega-enemy stereotype) like that.

Politiker von CDU und FDP unterstützten die Forderung Guttenbergs und äußerten Unverständnis dafür, dass der Berliner Senat keine Gedenkfeier für Reagan plane.

Remember when it was European Germany?

December 21, 2010 By in Heconomy, History, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Now it’s German Europe.

Huh? Where did this come from all of a sudden? Out of the blue like that?*

It was another “good day for Europe” when, as usual, nothing was actually resolved during the latest EU summit the other day, other than the fact that that nothing had a big Made in Germany stamp on it. The times they are a changed. The country that used to moan about being the paymaster for so long (and still does, of course, don’t get me wrong)  is now “the taskmaster of the entire community” and doesn’t even have the decency to make a secret about it anymore.

But don’t complain about it, my (as in Germany’s) fellow Europeans. This is only what the “fathers of Europe” had envisioned right from the start. Think of  what Jean Monnet had to say about the plan, for instance:

He wanted to guide European countries into a super-state “without their people understanding what is happening. This can be accomplished by successive steps, each disguised as having an economic purpose.”

I admit that this wasn’t quite the purpose he had envisioned but, well, now you “have the salad,” as the Germans like to say (the fat is in the fire). It doesn’t really matter that Berlin has a lack of vision when it comes to dealing with the current euro crisis, Germany calls the shots now and doesn’t need a vision if it doesn’t want one. So get used to it already.

“This is all about Germany, and it’s all about the end of the German appetite for writing checks to the periphery of Europe.”

*Have any of you ever read Philip K. Dick’s The Man in the High Castle? Germany and Japan win World War II. This is kind of like that.

Shoot-’em-up German style!

December 13, 2010 By in Hi-tech, History, Hypocrisy Tags: , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

In case you didn’t already know… Except when it comes to American “shooter” computer games, of course, “computer games as a medium are often quick to be judged without being more closely examined.” So that’s what I’m about to do now.

Sure, there seems to be a little token outrage here and there, but for the most part no one over here seems all too terribly beunruhigt (troubled) now that the German online game 1378(km) (the name refers to the length of the old Cold War German-German border, by the way) finally went online last week. This game is, well, German after all so it must be, I dunno, OK. Right?

The aim of the game? Some players are East German border guards with guns and other players are East German refugees trying to escape to the West. Get the picture? It’s quite a vivid one actually. But don’t worry, it’s politically correct political incorrectness, I’ve been told. More or less. I think.

“1378(km) does not force someone playing the border soldiers to shoot the refugees. Players are left with the freedom of choice. You are only able to win 1378(km) when you do not shoot. The rules of the game are inspired by the situation at the former Inner German Border. Border camps, death strips, and orders to shoot are what make the game brutal.”

Only in Germany, I tell ya.

Godchild should be Goodchild but actually Badchild

December 9, 2010 By in Habitudes, History Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

Well sheesh, it’s not the kid’s fault. Tradition is tradition. And wacky is wacky. And wacky tradition is… You get the picture.

Anyways, it’s a German tradition that the German president becomes an honorary godparent to the seventh child born to any family here (this doesn’t happen very often of course so it’s not like he’s ever overworked or anything).

This is all fine and gut, I guess, but unfortunately this latest kid’s family is, well, of the neo-Nazi persuasion.

On the seventh hour, of the seventh day, on the seventh month, the seventh doctor say…

„Unsere biologische Substanz durch Geburtenarmut und Masseneinwanderung von Ausländern gefährdet.“

Mardi Gras is a little early this year

November 8, 2010 By in History, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

The Jecken (carnival revelers) are out en masse in Gorleben again.

Much like the famous Karneval celebrations in Cologne and other German cities held in February, the jolly and popular annual German Gorleben Riot Ritual, held in November, is an ancient Teutonic tradition (going back some 33 years now) in which large numbers of Green and mean-spirited anarchists protest against nuclear energy in general and the still quite vague government plans for nuclear waste disposal in particular at a charming little hole-in-the-wall interim storage facility located in a quaint little piece of Zauberwald (magic forest) in which all participants reach their collective climax simultaneously once the transport of “Castor” dry cask containers by rail through northern France and Germany, well, reaches its climax too–and everything gets Molotov cocktailed big time.

“Karneval? Sich albern verkleiden, laut rumgrölen und anderen auf den Sack gehen.” 

Playing with numbers

October 13, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Talk about being “alarmist.” Der Spiegel wants to warn us that right-wing attitudes are suddenly on the rise again in Germany. Hmmm. Where did that come from all of a sudden? They wouldn’t be trying to ride on that obligatory anti-Sarrazin hysteria wave, now would they?

“A new study has revealed that far-right attitudes are deeply rooted in German society.” Wow, like we really needed a new study to know that.

“30 percent think that foreigners come here to take advantage of the welfare state.” Another shocking new revelation. I bet it was closer to 50 percent thirty years ago.

“More than one-tenth would like a ‘Führer‘ who would govern the country ‘with a firm hand’ for the benefit of all.”  Again, honestly, do any of you really believe that this number has ever been any lower in this country since World War II?

None of this is new, in other words. Germans have always been xenophobic and somebody’s “victim”–that’s just what they do.

So is this fear mongering? Yes. Am I being complacent? Yes. It’s because Germans have never been more strapped in to democracy than they are now–whether any of them like it or not–and although I can imagine a whole lot of things, anything even remotely resembling Nazi Germany taking place here again is definitely not one of them.

“More than 90 percent of respondents felt it was useless to become involved in politics.”

Anybody out there remember Clay Headquarters in Berlin?

September 24, 2010 By in History Tags: , , , , , , , , 3 Comments

I didn’t think so.

But in case you do, it’s up for sale now. I’m sure it’s a steal. They can’t tear it down (it’s basically an Adolf bunker), so make them an offer they can’t refuse.

PS: You may be familiar with it after all, whether you actually remember it or not. Parts of “Inglourious Basterds” and “Valkyrie” were shot there.