Category Archives: Hysteria

Work, work, work…

June 10, 2010 By in Habitudes, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

While watching World Cup at work, work, work.

You got to set your priorities, I guess. And when it comes to the soccer (some say football) World Cup starting this weekend, Germans have clearly set theirs. Even the head of the national employers’ association believes his countrymen should be allowed to watch the World Cup on television at work without getting into trouble with their superiors.

This is a sensible thing to say, I think, because they’re going to be watching it one way or the other anyway.

“Watching soccer together encourages team cohesion and staff motivation.”

Lena for president?

June 1, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Why not? The job’s available now and everybody likes her enough.

And then there’s that touchy question about the enormous cost for next year’s Eurovision to be held here in Germany. It could be taken over by the state, see? You know, like a broadcasting bailout?

Each year the winning county is required to host the following year’s grand finale.

Wir sind Papst again!

May 30, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

No, this is even better than having a German Pope.

Lena delivered and brought home the Eurovision 2010 crown – or whatever the hell it is Eurovision winners get when they, uh, win.

Knock yourselves out or something already!

PS: I don’t want to spoil your cornflakes or anything, Germany – she’s a cutie pie, really – but there’s something slightly wrong with her english/Englisch. I’m just sayin’, OK?

Give us your Festplatte

May 18, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , 1 Comment

Boy oh boy. Does Germany’s ever have big Google by the little googles now.

Caught accidently (Google says) collecting private data while collecting WLAN data for their Street View photo archive (the first Google mess-up vis-a-vis Germany, as far as I’m concerned – other than offering Google here in the first place, I mean), Hamburg’s data protection supervisor dude has demanded that Google hand over their hard drive for inspection, or else.

Good thing for Google he doesn’t know that they actually have more than one.
 
Google apologized for collecting what it described as fragments of information from unsecured WLANs, saying its actions were inadvertent and the result of a programming error.

Bad comparison

May 14, 2010 By in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Or should I say, eeevil? In the wake of loud criticism to Arizona’s SB 1070 immigration law, the Simon Wiesenthal Center in Los Angeles has denounced comparisons of the 48th state to Nazi Germany.

Nazi Germany was actually much worse, they say.

Glad we got that one straightened up quick. Nevada could have been next. Although, come to think of it…

“When people are asked to show their papers, it brings back memories of Nazi Germany,” she said.

Oh. My. Google.

April 23, 2010 By in Hypocrisy, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , 2 Comments

They’re at it again. This time Google’s StreetView car (they actually have several) has come under fire in Germany again for, gulp, collecting data on private Wi-Fi networks.

That this has been done for years already by many location-based service companies like Skyhook say, and applications like Twitter and even “good” browsers like Firefox makes no difference at all here, folks. Aufregung muss her (you just have to get hot and bothered).

Do no evil? Google kann do no good.

Datenschützer kritisieren die angebliche Speicherung von privaten Daten über WLAN-Netze durch Google Street View. Andere Anbieter bleiben von der Kritik ausgenommen, dabei gehen sie genauso vor.

We surrender already!

April 21, 2010 By in History, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Just stop holding hands and singing We Shall Overcome!

Not even those rugged German army types can take this kind of abuse forever. After years of moaning and sniveling and peaceniking about saving the heath and health of the so-called “Bombodrom” in Kyritz-Ruppiner Heide near Berlin, the Bundeswehr has finally rolled over and decided to close down its infamous military training area.

It had been a shocking Vorgang (course of events) or something. They actually practiced dropping bombs here once, I think. Maybe twice. Fake bombs of course, but still. Damn, where is the Bundeswehr going to drop their fake bombs now?

Bundesverteidigungsminister Karl-Theodor zu Guttenberg (CSU) erklärte in Berlin, die Bundeswehr löse diesen Standort mit seinen 80 Mitarbeitern vollständig auf.

Ossi ethnicity?

April 16, 2010 By in History, Home Cooking, Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Well, it’s official now. Turned down for work in the German West because she hailed from the German East, a woman took the company to court on racial, or at least ethnic, discrimination charges – and lost.

No ethnic group, no tribal breaks here, Easties. Nice try though. If you are an Ossi (East German), you stay one. So like wake up and smell the Kaffee. Life’s a Schlampe and then you die. Get used to it already. You’re now just like the rest of us out there who aren’t like the rest of us out there, I mean you (out there). That’s life. Here’s a hanky. Blow your nose. Now go out and get a job in Friedrichshain or in Dresden or in some other awful place like that. OK, I’m finished.

Als Gabriele S. vor Monaten ihre Bewerbungsunterlagen zurückbekam, prangte neben dem Lebenslauf der handschriftliche Vermerk des Fensterbauers. “(-) Ossi!”. An mehreren Stellen stand “DDR”. Eine üble Diskriminierung?

Winters could get colder

April 15, 2010 By in Hysteria Tags: , , , , , , , , , 6 Comments

German scientists have come to the scientific conclusion that “despite global warming”, winters could get colder in the years to come. Of course they could also get warmer in the years to come too, but still.

This odd phenomenon is said to have something to do with the sun or something (uh, don’t warm or cold winters always have something to do with the sun?).

Look, I’m no scientist. I just know that global warming, at least the man-made kind, is sacrosanct. And I also know that I nearly froze my ass off here this last winter, “despite global warming” (not to spite it or anything). So you do the math (I’m not a mathematician either).

Kalte Winter in Europa widersprechen Klimaerwärmung nicht