Even When We Win We Lose

Or so it goes with SPD these days.

SPD

Germany’s Social Democrats, Chancellor Angela Merkel’s coalition partners, on Sunday suffered their worst-ever electoral setback in regional polls in Bremen, raising questions about party leader Sigmar Gabriel’s hopes of gaining ground nationally on Ms Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats.

So sehen Sieger aus (this is what winners look like):

FDP

In Bremen ändern 6,5 Prozent für die FDP nicht viel. Im Bund aber eröffnet ihre Wiedererweckung Gedankenspiele für die Wahl 2017.

I Would Like To Know More About This ISIS Beheading Thing

And the Charlie Hebdo attack. And all the other attacks. And that mysterious Islamist terror threat yesterday in Bremen. You know. I would like to know more about stuff like that.

Muslim

I would like to understand these things better because I don’t understand them at all because all of these atrocities are being carried out by Islamists in the name of Islam and yet I am continually being told that these Islamists have nothing to do with Islam and that confuses me. This confusion means that I am Islamophobic, apparently. And I know you mean well, mister but I don’t think you are going to have any good answers for me, either. That must be a part of my Islamophobia, too. Help me, man. I’m sick.

“It’s getting more difficult because a lot of Islamophobic themes are coming, people now mixing Islam and terror, so we have to explain a lot.”

PS: And the Miss Germany 2015 winner is… Her.