Pokémon Go Away

Pah-lease. And don’t let the door hit you on the way out.


Pokémon Go has officially arrived in Germany, and that means you’re going to be on the hunt for at least the next few days/months. But if you’re anything like us, you probably don’t want to give up partying to become a full-time trainer. Fortunately, if you live in Berlin, you can do both, as the city’s clubs have their own wild Pokémon types, gyms and PokéStops. Of course, some are better than others, and that’s why we went out into the field to check out which clubs in Berlin are best suited for the aspiring Pokémaster.


The Fall Of The Berlin Mall Of Berlin

Jeepers. That didn’t take very long.

Mall of Berlin

This is not just any mall, mind you, but the hubristically named Mall of Berlin—the largest Germany’s capital has ever seen, including not only shops but (as yet unfinished) apartments and a hotel. And guess what? While it’s only been open since the autumn, the whole project is already bombing…

It’s not that Berlin’s government and developers don’t have the guts to take on major projects to transform the city. They just really suck at them.

German Car Club Mafia Terrorists Apologize Nineteen Million Times

For rigging the prestigious (yawn) “car the year” award competition, I mean.


Mr. Ramstetter, 60, admitted to Germany’s Süddeutsche Zeitung that he had increased the number of ADAC member votes tenfold for this year’s “Golden Angel” award which went to the Volkswagen Golf.

Although the ADAC did not admit it, there were suspicions that its executives may have taken sizeable backhanders from Germany’s powerful car manufacturers in exchange for manipulating the figures.

Poor But Sexy But Drunk

Traditional Kneipen (neighborhood pubs) are dropping like Fliegen (flies) these days in Germany.

The latest statistics indicate that their number has dropped nationwide from 48,000 to 36,000 since 2001.

But thank goodness Berlin and Berliners are standing up to buck the trend. While the number of Kneipen in other cities like Hamburg has dropped 48.1 percent during this period, the number of new Kneipen in Berlin rose 95.8 percent. Damn. You can’t set the bar much higher than that.

“Mit dem Wirtshaus verschwindet eine Einrichtung mit hohem sozialen und kulturellen Stellenwert aus den Gemeinden.”