How To Avoid Getting Scolded By A German?

That’s easy. Practice very aggressive social distancing. You know. Like, move to France?

Scold

Have you ever walked on the bicycle lane? Put a refundable bottle into a regular bin? Asked a bus driver how much the ride costs? In Germany, these beginners’ mistakes might earn you a good scold. Here’s how to avoid it…

“The point is not whether they are right or not, it’s that anyone here thinks they’re allowed to educate you.”

German Oddity 177. Germany is what you might call a correcting culture. It is not uncommon for perfect strangers to publically reprimand you here if you do not abide by what is considered the societal norm. Newcomers are usually shocked when discovering that others have no qualms about telling you that you’re doing something wrong, as if you were a small child. If they don’t tell you outright there will at least be a display of disapproving headshaking.

What’s An Increase Of 42% Among Friends?

Somebody just slammed Germany in the face with a brick. I mean a Brexit.

EU

Germany to contribute 42% more to EU budget: report – The European Commission would like to see €13 billion more per year from Europe’s largest economy. EU leaders, including Angela Merkel, are meeting Friday to discuss the bloc’s future budget.

Germany currently contributes an average of €31 billion a year to the EU budget. The proposal for the new budget would raise that contribution to €44 billion — an increase of 42%.

Ha, Ha, Ha

A new slogan will make “Europe strong again?” Gemeinsam. Europa wieder stark machen.

Europe

Back off, Trump. Germany wants to Make Europe Strong Again. Berlin’s EU presidency motto has echoes of MAGA.

Slogans, as we all know, are merely slogans. The track record here is what you have to go by and it ain’t pretty. The Eurozone hasn’t even begun to deal with Brexit while Angela Merkel signals submission to France to accept a Schuldenunion (a debt union – paying the debt for Southern European countries – yes, they have a North and a South problem here too) when all of a sudden this little thing we call Corona has prompted Brussels to suggest an $826 billion economic stimulus plan (even more debt)  for a “union” of countries that can’t even protect their borders and that only appears to be unified when it comes to supporting  anything that weakens the United States (see China) and on and on we go but together they will make Europe strong. Again. Again?

Make Europe Strong Again. MESA? All I see is a MESA problems that nobody is prepared to fix.

I’m One Of Your Biggest Fans!

A monster fan, even.

Fans

Tear gas hits the fan during clashes on Greek-Turkish border – Greek border units trying to stop crowds of migrants from pushing their way in from Turkey have hit on a new defense against tear gas unleashed on them from the Turkish side of the frontier — monster fans

Flüchtende zünden Brandsätze, griechische Grenzbeamte lenken Tränengas und Rauch in ihre Richtung.

“A Bulwark No Longer”

For the last ten years, German elites successfully used EU membership to accrue political and economic benefits while offloading costs to Germany’s partners and avoiding the responsibilities and costs of European leadership. The irony is that the success of this strategy has now engendered the kind of divides inside Germany that it had forced upon most of the rest of the EU…

Germany

Germany is now entering a period of party system fragmentation, electoral volatility, unstable coalition governments and social polarization, all features of the politics of most other European countries.

German Of The Day: Bootsmigranten

That means boat migrants.

Migrants

You know, like “most boat migrants are not refugees?”

The number of refugees coming to Europe keeps climbing from month to month but the fewest  of them are refugees and the fewest of them will be given permission to stay. The punch line: They’ll stay anyway.

Die meisten Bootsmigranten sind keine Flüchtlinge.

It’s Magic

Christmas magic. The German media clones (aka Brain Police) are passing around Christmas presents in a frenzy.

Media

On the one hand: The number of applications for asylum in Europe is climbing again for the first time since 2015 (half a Million). On the other hand: The number of asylum seekers in Germany continues to decline.

At first glance, this doesn’t make much sense. Taking a closer look, however, this doesn’t make any sense at all. But tis the season to be jolly, folks, so when it comes to fake news numbers, fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Fast eine halbe Million Menschen: Eurostat meldet laut einem Medienbericht erstmals seit 2015 steigende Asylantragszahlen. Deutschland nimmt jedoch relativ gesehen immer weniger Menschen auf.

Deportation German Style

When Germans say deportation they mean deportation. It’s just that deportation clearly means something else in German than it does in English. Even though it means deportation, I mean. And here I thought I spoke the language. Sheesh.

Deportation

Germany: Thousands of migrants return after deportation, report says – Thousands of asylum-seekers in Germany have returned multiple times after deportation, according to a report in German media. Those with entry bans often serve a few months in jail or are not arrested at all…

There are nearly 5,000 asylum-seekers who have reapplied for asylum after being deported from Germany since 2012, according to the report, which cites official government figures. Some of the asylum-seekers willingly left Germany, knowing deportation was imminent. The then returned to German to make another application for asylum, according to the report.

German oddity 234: Germany is a country that now places the ugly security controls, bollards and heavily armed police it used to have on its national borders at Christmas markets and Volksfeste around the country instead.

German Of The Day: Abschiebung

That means deportation. And those who have no business being here in Germany must understand that the Germans might actually deport them. One day. Eventually.

Smugglers

Of course those who do get deported only come right back to Germany again with the help of Schlepper (human trafficking smugglers). But still.

Take this head of a Lebanese criminal family clan, for instance. Please. German authorities finally got tough with him and deported him to Lebanon but he just turned around and came right back with the help of today’s highly efficient, extremely lucrative and internationally active human trafficking industry (thanks be to you, Angela Merkel & Co.). He made a mistake filling out his asylum seeker form in Bremen though and the cops were able to bust him again. I think for behavior like that they really ought to come down hard on this guy and deport him.

Demnach habe Miri sich „mit Hilfe von Helfern“ einen Pass verschafft und sei zunächst „heimlich über Syrien in die Türkei“, dann „mit Hilfe von Schleppern auf dem Landweg in die Bundesrepublik Deutschland“ eingereist.

Let’s Pretend It’s Not

Let’s pretend it’s not what everyone else immediately knows it is. Until we’re forced to admit what it is a few days later, officially. It’s some bizarre new game of hide and seek government officials are playing all across Europe these days.

Terror

Similar to the way French officials behaved after last week’s knifing “incident” in Paris, German officials too now bend over backwards seeking any explanation they can find to explain Monday’s truck “incident” in Limburg – other than the most obvious one. Why is it so hard to admit that you have just witnessed yet another terror attack from someone Angela Merkel inexplicably invited to the country in 2015? Could it be that these authorities have a guilty conscience? Better late than never, I guess.

German authorities are investigating a man who drove a stolen lorry into a line of cars in Limburg in the western state of Hesse, injuring eight people.

The 32-year-old had pulled the driver of the vehicle from his cabin at a red light before using the lorry to plough into eight cars waiting at a light near the town’s central railway station at about 5.20pm (1620 BST) on Monday.

The man, a Syrian national named as Omar AI by the national broadcaster ARD, was arrested at the scene.

“My thoughts are with the injured victims of the accident and their families.”